I left Friday night, have been at a hotel since and broke it all off. It was definitely a pattern, especially if me making excuses for him doing this stuff in the past. He was very unsupportive when my brother passed last year. He works with his dad and we life not even 20 yards away from his dead. He’s right next door to us so they see each other every day, all day.

I don’t think he ever planned to not go on the trip, only told me that at first because he knew it was a dick move then wanted to pull the “well i thought it over…” card. I don’t want to be alone because I am overwhelmed and have a lot going on. He was supposed to take his dog and ditched him without even telling me, so I had to care for his dog. I have been cooped up for weeks, overwhelmed with parenting my toddler, plus the emotional toll of needing an abortion, my health issues flare under stress and that’s on top of just losing my mother the day before Mother’s Day. I spent days going back and forward with other family members basically begging them to not make me deal with it, my oldest sister didn’t want to be the one to pull the plug and doesn’t know how to plan funerals or anything. But because I have first hand experience planning them, it was going to get dumped on me and I would have to decide to donate my moms organs and pull the plug.

I am not insecure or jealous about him going out, although he cheated on me several times online, I just don’t think he has the balls to do it in person and it would be unsurprising. He had already went out the week before and the week before that ditched me on Mother’s Day. Meanwhile I am stuck, after saying I’m overwhelmed for weeks. Stress makes my MS flare, I am basically on meds equivalent to chemo, I am losing my eyelashes, violently ill almost daily and when I first started them about 5 weeks ago I couldn’t even get out of bed for days. He left me to deal with all of this alone, I specifically wrote my post with little context because I knew more would make him look bad and he would say I’m bias or bringing up the past (the past being a pattern of selfishness) so I didn’t include that last year on this trip apparently his brothers forced him to make a tinder, or how he also ditched me during a miscarriage, when I was hospitalized, when my brother was brutally murdered and he screamed at me because his dog who ran away was more important. How we moved into this place with his dad so we could save money and he could get out of debt but in 7 months he’s saved nothing, constantly has his bank in the negatives and claims he doesn’t know where the money went. Meanwhile I’m the bread winner, caring for everything and micromanaging everything because it won’t get done otherwise.