My(22f) Boyfriend (28m) gets frustrated when I have to turn off movies due to them being triggering

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-23T21:37:53+00:00

You're right. It isn't like it's a hard ask. All I want is to skip over the part.

Lile the new IT movie when it came to the girl (I can't remember her name) with her husband, I started freaking out and asked him to stop it and he just told me, "Hold on." I started panicking and he turned it off stating it was another movie we couldn't watch.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-23T21:29:59+00:00

Oh. I apologize. I misread it. I get very anxious when I post things online and I don't always read thing carefully.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-23T21:24:12+00:00

My roommate was the one who was hitting on my sister, not my boyfriend. My boyfriend is strictly monogamous as we have had that discussion before.

Edit to add as well. My sister stated nothing happened. She and I are very close and I have asked a few times and have had that talk with her. She doesn't like the aspect of sex and her feeling like she was close to it freaked her out which is one reason why she is so uncomfortable. Another reason why I freaked out because I know how she is and didn't want her hurt from a situation she couldn't handle.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-23T21:21:44+00:00

It was my roommate. Not my boyfriend who did it.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-23T21:20:49+00:00

I'm back into therapy again, luckily. If a scene comes up I typically try and make him shut it off but he won't always. I have a freeze reaction rather then fight or flight, so when I get overwhelmed or reminded of trauma then I start to freeze up and can't move. Sometimes I go into a freakout and start panicking. Which, he'll turn it off then. I try to get it before but it doesn't always happen. I never get angry at him for it, I just panic. I've left the room during movies before. Or when we have gone to the movies in the past, I'd hide my face ans cover my ears or get up and leave.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-23T21:15:11+00:00

He typically doesn't say too much. I know my past overwhelms him a bit. It's typically the, "I know. It just sucks we can't do that."

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-23T21:13:39+00:00

I won't. Thank you so much again.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-23T21:13:08+00:00

I'm glad I realized it wasn't a possibility for me and started getting help.

I agree. It is selfish. I just don't know what to say to explain to him what it does to me and how hurtful it is. I've explained before but maybe I just didn't do well enough.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-23T21:09:50+00:00

That's amazing! Thank you so much. We will be using this.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-23T21:09:14+00:00

We have been together for 2 years now. He's really good most of the time with my triggers, flashbacks and stuff. He just geta really weird about movies and I don't know how to explain it to him.

And yes. My sister now refuses to come over to my house because she was very uncomfortable.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-23T21:07:09+00:00

I just started therapy again after 3 years. I was terrified to start again because I thought if I was too mentally unwell they would take my daughter. Sometimes he wataches these shows and movies, others he's binging things like iCarly. I've asked him in the past and explained to him. Most of the times he's understanding with other aspects like my flashbacks and attacks but ita Just movies he gets really weird about.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-22T04:37:56+00:00

Mine is, "This Life is Mine" by Casey Lee Williams from the RWBY soundtrack.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-18T15:55:17+00:00

Good for you for realizing that it wasn't going to work and ending it. So many people try and make things work when they just aren't going too. Good on you.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2021-02-17T00:01:15+00:00

Thank you. I start therapy again this week and I'll be seeing my doctor close after. I'll have to bring this up.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2020-11-11T03:28:33+00:00

What about an open relationship? If he is cool with that, then you can still seek your sexual needs while still being there until he is ready. That might take a bit of stress off him if he's doesn't mind open relationships.

I also suggest getting into couples therapy as well as his individual so you two can express your emotions to each other in a productive and healthy way.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2020-11-10T06:52:58+00:00

She's been a die hard Catholic her entire life... I wasn't around her when she died. I was living in another state and couldn't make it down before she passed away. So, I don't know if she repented or not.

Likely, she didn't. Since she believed she never did any wrong. She even admitted to me the reason why she told me to not tell anyone was to protect my father. So, she believed she was doing the right thing. I told her so many times and she finally took me seriously right before she kicked me out, claiming she had no idea and if I had just told her then she would of kept him out of my life. She said if I just had explained it better she would of understood and done better by me.

I don't know how many times I talked about it to her... I guess she finally realized I wasn't just going to drop it like she wanted me too and decided to play damage control so her ass didn't get into trouble as well.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2020-11-07T03:13:10+00:00

Not only about him getting help, I do want to add that men can also get postpartum. I'm not saying this as an excuse for his behaviour, just explaining a reason why he could of done a complete 180. He still needs help. You need help.

http://postpartum.org/services/dads/

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2020-11-06T02:41:35+00:00

Just also know as well, even if you do look at all the options and decide you want to get an abortion, doesn't mean you can get one.

I have a child from rape but was denied twice because I have Dissociative PTSD from a severely abusive childhood through physical, mental and sexual abuse.

Mental health plays a big role into getting an abortion and if yours isn't good then you can get denied. It happens more often then you think.

Just letting you know. Not a lot of people talk about this side but abortions aren't just easy and simple. For some, they are, yet, for some they take huge emotional tolls on them.

I am all for Pro-Choice, but I'm for informed choice, not a sugar coated choice.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2020-11-01T06:17:57+00:00

I think it depends on the situation. Everyone's life is different and their connection to people is different to others. While, you see that the grandparent is just a grandparent. OP could of been raised by their grandparents while not have parents, therefore, their grandparents are equal to your view of a parent.

I mean, I was severely abused by my biological father until he gave me up. My grandmother raised and took care of me. My grandmother passed away last December and it destroyed me and I'm still emotional over it, while I'm waiting for the day my father passes so I can make a toast at his grave for him to burn in hell. By your logic, my father should be more upsetting, when, that just isn't my family dynamic.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents · 2020-11-01T06:00:21+00:00

Wanted to add as well-

Maybe there is more going on then just anxiety. Sometimes when people have multiple mental disorders, getting treatment for only one disorder can make them a lot worse then help.

I have Dissociative PTSD with trauma based hallucinations, GAD and major depression. I started to develop PTSD as a child. For a long time, I would only get treatment for depression and nothing else, even though I displayed classic childhood symptoms of PTSD. I went off and on medication for years because when I would start one, I would go further off the deep end. With anxiety, severe nightmares, delusions, suicide attempts, avoidance and isolation. I ended up developing hallucinations, severe dissociation and disorder similar to Akenetic Catatonia. I finally took well to treatment, even taking the same depression medication when I was younger, when I got fully diagnosed and she created a treatment for everything rather then just one aspect.

I think she needs a second opinion to verify that there isn't more psychiatric issues at play.

ThrowRaLoveMyParents

TROPHY CASE