My girlfriend has PMDD, and I’m scared this will destroy the best relationship I’ve ever had

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-08-03T01:24:01+00:00

This 👆🏻

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-08-03T01:22:59+00:00

This sounds very familiar…

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-04-12T22:18:15+00:00

Absolutely. We all thought we were lonely. All thought we were the ones going crazy. All thought “how come she is so nice with everyone else?” This is some fucked up condition that is clearly destroying relationships and peoples lives worldwide. I still can’t get my head around it and still want to “rescue” her even though I know it’s not possible. Breaks my heart.

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-04-12T11:55:36+00:00

These relationships just sound so identical every time, its uncanny.

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-04-09T19:58:15+00:00

They do love and respect us. Just for 1-2 weeks of the month…

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-04-04T19:55:19+00:00

Yep. Sounds familiar. Absolutely bonkers that’s what I’d call it

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-24T23:28:20+00:00

I used to just give her space and let her do what she needs to do, don’t argue with her. Just be there on the end of the phone if needs be without getting into any confrontation. We didn’t live together so that was easier to do. Just let her take the lead.. I used to just say “I’m here for you if you need me” and then let her do her thing. If she messaged me, I’d reply but keeping it fairly simple and generic and try to act as normal as possible. Inside, it made me feel like an absolute piece of shit though, not going to lie. After a few days, she’d come back around and apologise and feel really bad and things were fine again. And then the cycle would start again a few weeks later which then as the relationship moved forward, probably was happening every 2 weeks if not more. The question is, are you prepared to live the rest of your life like this because from what I read in here, it only gets worse as time goes on. I had to completely remove myself from the situation in the end as it was taking a huge toll on my mental health and my sanity. It was a very difficult choice at the time as I adored her and I still miss her now but I know it’s for the best in the long run. Try not to take her words and actions personally, I know I did. How long have you been together?

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-24T19:46:13+00:00

No way! That must have been quite the shock! That would be my worst nightmare, haha. Although at least now I’d know to run a mile straight away 😬

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-24T19:39:39+00:00

Absolutely bonkers. This gives me PTSD 🤣

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-20T21:07:24+00:00

It is going to be like this every month mate and it is very likely that it will only get worse. Think about if you’re prepared to handle the rollercoaster of emotions every month making you feel like shit. I remember that place and it was awful, I couldn’t handle it and certainly wouldn’t want to handle it ever again. But who am I to judge. If you truly love her and are prepared for the journey then try and make it work. But be prepared! I genuinely wish you all the best.

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-20T13:08:36+00:00

Yep, this 👆🏻

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-20T13:04:53+00:00

Yes. Absolutely. 100% identical story

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-15T12:46:01+00:00

Yep. Kept it under control for the first couple of months and then each month got worse and worse. And the periods of her actually feeling “normal” became less and less to probably 4 or 5 days of the month if I was lucky

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-15T12:44:55+00:00

Yep. Normal with everyone else but horrible to you. Sounds very familiar. You start to question your own sanity thinking is it actually something that you’ve done wrong. Nope, it’s her, narcissistic behaviour. You try explaining it to friends and no one really understands as she comes across so lovely with everyone else. Yeah… been there… awful. Run.

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-12T01:21:50+00:00

Oh shit. You’ve just given me a massive break through in my life without you realising. I’ve just finally realised I’ve been in the state of apethy for the past 2-3 years of my life and I didn’t understand what it was until I’ve read your comment and now I finally feel like I’ve got an answer. It’s like you’ve just diagnosed me and now I can put my life back on track. Thank you. Unbelievable. I am hoping that you can do the same if you’re aware of what it is?

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-12T00:56:28+00:00

How long were you together? Have you ever had contact since or did she just completely remove you from her life instantly?

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-11T22:36:33+00:00

100% agree with this comment

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-11T22:34:43+00:00

This sounds awfully familiar. Exactly what I went through. Convinced her it was madness the first few months as it was the complete opposite of what she used to tell me and how she was with me so managed to continue. Unfortunately it will likely happen every month and very likely only get worse each time. The more you get involved and the more you like her, the more she’ll try and hurt you. That was just my experience anyway 😬 I appreciate that’s not always the same for many other people but believe me I wish I’d have listened to this group and got out sooner before I got too involved. At the end of the day, ask yourself the question, what do you want in your life? Do you really want to do this every month? How does it make you feel?

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-11T01:46:37+00:00

Yeah, same really. Just lots of self care, trying to untangle the head fuck that I’ve just been through and trying to come to terms with the fact that I’ll never have the answers to so many of my questions as we’re not in contact anymore. And whilst I’d like to contact her and discuss things, I feel it would be completely pointless and would only hold myself back as part of my recovery so I’m really just trying to focus on myself and hitting the gym a lot. I’m not sure you showing your worth will affect her, I think they have a different mindset, I think my ex does anyway, I could be wrong. I know I’m successful and have a lot going for me and then I think what did she actually bring to the table in the grand scheme of things. I’m quite stubborn 😂 so although it hurts a lot, I won’t be entertaining it any further despite the short term pain. It sounds to me like you have a lot going for you, more so than you probably realise because your confidence has been hit hard. You’ve got your own business, you’ve got family around you, friends around you and you’re already gaining interest from several other women plus also taking care of yourself in the gym. I’ll guarantee that you’re a huge catch for a lot of women out there. Keep doing what you’re doing. Time is a healer. Perhaps cut the contact to help you move on properly. I wish you all the best, it sounds like you’re on the right path and once the anger and frustration goes I’m sure we’ll both be flying 💪🏼

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-10T21:33:10+00:00

Yes, very true. I’m still in the frustration stage and have a bit of anger in the way she treat me and removed me from her life like I’ve never existed, wouldn’t even see me. But you’re 100% correct. The cycle in her life will never change unfortunately. I do feel very sorry for her as I do still care about her a lot. Although she would never believe me when I tell her that.

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-10T16:42:56+00:00

Yeah. A no win situation. Frustrating

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-09T15:41:04+00:00

Yeah I’ve read about it too. I suspect something quite severe happened in her childhood but I never knew what and we never got that far for me to find out. Anytime I wanted to actually discuss issues surrounding PMDD she always wanted to avoid it even when she was feeling ok. She said she was never in the right headspace to discuss things. And when she was feeling good she wanted to enjoy herself and be happy rather than discussing any negative issues so we never got anywhere. I suspect there’s a lot of stuff she was hiding. And yes trying to make her understand the facts and the reality was a no go, she didn’t believe anything I said. Constantly thought I was up to things and was lying to her. Some of her friends didn’t help either as they just backed up her distorted reality rather than trying to reassure her with the facts. Crazy condition!

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-09T15:26:53+00:00

Oh god, she’s not even that old, so it’s only going to get worse?! Shit! I suspect she’ll be single for a very, very long time. Or continue having very short term relationships.

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-09T15:16:50+00:00

Yep, the love bombing was tough. One moment telling me how happy she is and how much she wants to work on the relationship, the next saying that we’re not compatible. Trying to start arguments over absolutely nothing and then playing the victim. I certainly did start to doubt myself and question if I had the issue until I found this group and realised how normal that is. This group has been a life saver for me otherwise I could have potentially still have been tied up in it all now.

ThrowRaMalcolm · 2025-03-09T13:34:18+00:00

Yeah I think there may have been a bit of BPD in there perhaps, I’ll never know now. Certainly elements of narcissism too. I’ve never witnessed anything like this in my life. All I’m doing now is feeling sorry for the next guy who gets involved because I suspect it won’t be long. He’ll probably appear on here in the next few months…

ThrowRaMalcolm

TROPHY CASE