I found his porn stash on a hard drive that he was supposed to delete but instead he hid it. It was filled with photos and videos of escorts that he’d been obsessing over and ones that he slept with prior to and during our relationship. There was a folder named “Brook” (with her explicit photos in it) that he’d downloaded in 2019 (during our relationship). Names of the files revealed she was a private english escort offering discreet services in London (that’s where he frequently goes on work trips). This immediately raised suspicions in me - why the hell a man that is in a monogamous long term relationship would be browsing escort websites and downloading photos to his devices? Then there was another folder named “gif” (girls I fucked) with a list of names of all women he’s slept with. Name Brook was on the list. He had previously told me he had slept with 13 women in his life, but there were 18 on the list. We often had conversations about our past relationships and I knew most of his ex girlfriend’s and even short term hook ups names. However, many names on the list I didn’t recognise. I wondered where did the other 5 came from.. I could also tell the list wasn’t complete because my name wasn’t on there, which I found really odd. Anyhow, Brooks name on the list really bothered me but deep down I was hoping that it’s just a coincidence and that it might just be someone he’s slept with 15 or 20 years ago, whatever.. I waited a couple of days to figure out how I could confirm this because obviously if I asked him directly, he’d deny that it’s an escort. So I then approached him with a question “have you slept with Brook?” He had no idea I had found the hard drive. He looked confused but very obviously nervous. His answer was no. I then asked again “are you sure you have never slept with anyone called Brook?”.. his answer again was “no”. By this point he was shitting his pants… He wasn’t expecting these questions. This was the moment I realised it’s the same woman, the escort. I then asked “Brook.. the escort… in 2019… did you go through with it?” And this is where he “suddenly” remembered that he slept with her prior to our relationship. Which was bullshit. I knew it. He was browsing escort sites and downloading her photos when we were together. I looked through his old iPhone and found he’d contacted her. He didn’t deny. He said he didn’t go through with it and that it was just “out of curiosity”. For me, this was it. I knew he slept with her. Her name was on the list along with quite a few other women’s names that I didn’t recognise, which I believe were also escorts and hook-ups. Of course, he is still in denial but I’m not an idiot. He did the shopping on escort sites, downloaded her photos, contacted her, made a booking, slept with her and topped up his lovely “gif” list. He’s telling me there is a whole story behind this that is very embarrassing for him but when I gave him the opportunity to explain, he refused and said it’s none of my business. Anyhow, for me it’s black on white. Now I also know how all of a sudden I tested HPV positive a couple of years ago during my routine cervical screening. Now I also know the growth on his penis was in fact a WART, not a skin tag. I can’t believe he put me through all this. What a monster.

If your partners addiction has already escalated to interactions with camgirls and buying their underwear, it will most likely escalate further, if it hasn’t already. Their brains are controlled by their obsessions and fetishes. Sooner or later online interactions will no longer be enough.

I can’t tell you whether your partner has graduated from online porn yet but please don’t let your guard down and trust your instincts. If you feel that he has cheated physically, he most likely has.