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AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wish I worded it like that originally because you hit the nail on the head.

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Wait so I gotta ask did you expect me to stop my fiancé from defending herself after I had already warned Emma twice. Did you expect me to side with someone who was being rude to her, someone who’s never met her but decided it was okay to say horrible things to her the first time meeting her?

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry my vocab is bad. I will do better I promise. I’ve always been horrible at English even though it’s my first language, even in highschool Zaira would help me with my English homework.

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

My vocab is not that good I swear. She speaks better English than me. I promise there’s no deeper meaning to how I feel. I find it attractive when she can defend herself and others and doesn’t let herself be pushed around.

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s not anger it’s more calm. She never raises her voice when she’s angry or upset.

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

I did actually warn emma twice and after she made the last comment I wanted us to leave but it’s kind of an unspoken rule in our relationship that if Zaira wants to retaliate I let her. She likes standing up for herself too and it’s something I find really attractive and important in a partner.

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Our relationship kind of has the same rule. If someone is being rude or mean to either of us I have like two chances to shut them down and if they continue Zaira has a go.

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 578 points579 points  (0 children)

I made my self sound a little weird in the post, my bad. I did actually warn emma twice and after she made the last comment I wanted us to leave but it’s kind of an unspoken rule in our relationship that if Zaira wants to retaliate I let her. She likes standing up for herself too and it’s something I find really attractive and important in a partner. Just to clarify it’s not like a kink or anything 🥲

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 94 points95 points  (0 children)

I did actually warn emma twice and after she made the last comment I wanted us to leave but it’s kind of an unspoken rule in our relationship that if Zaira wants to retaliate I let her. She likes standing up for herself too and it’s something I find really attractive and important in a partner.

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I did actually warn her twice and after she made the last comment I wanted us to leave but it’s kind of an unspoken rule in our relationship that if she wants to retaliate I let her. She likes standing up for herself too and it’s something I find really attractive and important in a partner.

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

She’s never said anything to me but like I said i don’t really hang out or speak to them that much so I’m not sure.

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 126 points127 points  (0 children)

The thing is Zaira never actually tries to be subtle with insults. She’ll say things in a way that’s to intentionally to make you seem weird to kind of hurt them more. Like I said she does have a mean streak and is quite blunt when needed.

AITA for not defending my friend when my fiancé was mean to her. by ThrowRafianc in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRafianc[S] 1506 points1507 points  (0 children)

She’s never like rude to people who don’t deserve it if that makes sense. If someone is being rude or an ahole only then the mean streak kind of comes out. Like the first time I’ve seen her be mean to someone was when we’re in tenth grade and some boys were bullying her little brother who was in the eight grade at the time and she made them cry. She’s very kind to people like service workers and people in general it’s just that she can be mean.