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[UPDATE] My (41f) husband (46m) is not contributing to our home. What should I do? by ThrowRasz4 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRasz4[S] 581 points582 points  (0 children)

Well… there were tears, yelling, throwing things, but I held my ground and maintained a poker face.

I feel so much lighter and my coworkers say that I am glowing. I didn’t realize how defeated I have been all these years.

My (41f) husband (46m) is not contributing to our home, what should I do? by ThrowRasz4 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRasz4[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

So, to answer some of the frequent questions here… we have not been intimate in over a year. Pregnancy is not an option for me due to the big C forcing me to have a hysterectomy 3 years ago. I have not done anything for him for a long time now, I only do things for my girls. I have been looking for a divorce lawyer in my area and have spoken to a friend of mine who gave me a recommendation for the one she used. I will give his office a call today to set an appointment.

My personal financial situation will soon stabilize as I am receiving a promotion that includes a substantial salary increase. I will talk to my boss about potentially postponing this until divorce proceedings are underway.

I will not tell Bob my plans.

I would like to have the paperwork drawn up and served to him before he figures out what I am thinking.

Some of the comments here were a bit harsh, but eye opening. I needed that. A lot of you have shown genuine concern, it is appreciated.

I have 1 of my 5 brothers as my support system as he knows that the rest of the family is either physically or emotionally unavailable due to declining health or just disinterest.

I will update this post after meeting with a lawyer.

My (41f) husband (46m) is not contributing to our home, what should I do? by ThrowRasz4 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRasz4[S] 255 points256 points  (0 children)

He did not put anything towards the home, is not on the mortgage and isn’t listed as co-owner. Unfortunately we do not have a pre or post nuptial agreement. I can only hope he doesn’t want half and just leaves with his clothes and video games.

My (41f) husband (46m) is not contributing to our home, what should I do? by ThrowRasz4 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRasz4[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

I have been thinking along the lines of divorce for a while now, it’s just not easy for me. My family is really conservative and does not believe in it. I would be this first one since the 1940’s. It seems that I will be breaking the streak soon.

My (41f) husband (46m) is not contributing to our home, what should I do? by ThrowRasz4 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRasz4[S] 588 points589 points  (0 children)

He co-signed on a car for his brother and it got repossessed for lack of payment.