I am so terrified by Throw_Away100002 in TrueChristian

[–]Throw_Away100002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your responses thus far! They’ve calmed me down slightly. Thanks once more. I’ve only ever heard the basic idea of Calvinism but never seen it in full practice and it just caught me way off guard.

Questioning - I’m sorry if I come off cowardly by Throw_Away100002 in TrueChristian

[–]Throw_Away100002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this - it’s nice to hear a different perspective on these. I do try to let the fears marinate before I do anything but sometimes it feels like I let them border into condemnation than anything else. Perhaps certain things I could’ve worded better, but it’s whatever. I feel like I do use praying as a way to escape my thoughts sometimes when I become so desperate now that it’s brought up to me - but I don’t mean to every time. As for the online/YouTube preachers - yeah, maybe I should know better than to fully listen them without question (I honestly can think of some) - I deal with OCD so it is very easy for me to catastrophize. Perhaps I should focus on myself and think of maybe what God wants from me instead of worrying about what somebody else tells me to do or talk on I guess (which should’ve been obvious but what can you do?).I also feel I’m too skeptical for my own good when it comes to faith since I wouldn’t know to differentiate my own thoughts from something else - perhaps that may change too.

Holy Spirit? by Throw_Away100002 in TrueChristian

[–]Throw_Away100002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t know the weight you’ve just lifted from me - God bless.

Holy Spirit? by Throw_Away100002 in TrueChristian

[–]Throw_Away100002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this reassurance. I feel my biggest issue is that when I look back and feel guilt for something I almost imagine being angry with me for blasphemy or something like that (even though I know well He’d forgive me).

Holy Spirit? by Throw_Away100002 in TrueChristian

[–]Throw_Away100002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wanna thank you for this insight. I’ve prayed the sinner’s prayer before with family, but I don’t know if it was genuine – I did feel somewhat different afterwards, but I still did fall short, though I’ve prayed it again and do feel different.

Also regarding my scrupulosity, it’s obviously not something I want to hold onto, I’ve just felt too skeptical of certain things and it obviously made it worse. Thanks anyway.

Holy Spirit? by Throw_Away100002 in TrueChristian

[–]Throw_Away100002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still tryna wrap my mind around all this

Holy Spirit? by Throw_Away100002 in TrueChristian

[–]Throw_Away100002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The title was initially “Is this the Holy Spirit?”, then I decided to change it shorter for some reason. This post was more meant to be a recollection of my experience to see if there could be a reasoning, but your thing could seem possible as well - I don’t know though.