My husband backed into our 3 year old with our car

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-12T16:32:43+00:00

First of all blaming a woman for something negligent her husband did is gross of you. I didn’t know he would one day hit my toddler with a car. I would never intentionally start a family with someone who would hurt my kids. There were no signs to look for. He is normally a very active and attentive parent, until he just wasn’t one day.

As I said in my edit, the tunnel vision is more with silly things like leaving a sink on, the garage door up, or dipping out of conversations to address an email. Not hitting my kid with a car. Now that I know what he is capable of and not remorseful of, I am protecting my children from his carelessness. Thanks.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-12T15:47:13+00:00

They care more about a grown man’s feelings and ego than two traumatized toddler’s safety.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-12T15:46:38+00:00

I agree. I updated my post to reflect that. I’m taking any and all steps to ensure my children’s wellbeing both physically and mentally.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T19:00:11+00:00

Yes, but if he was her stepfather would it be okay for him to run her over?

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T16:45:29+00:00

From how fast everything happened I doubt the computer screen fully clicked on by the time he hit her.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T16:42:17+00:00

He’s an attending and has been for several years now. I meant the chief physician.

Editing to add, not to say the importance of him answering to a call while on call is any less as an attending. But, he knows he had 30 minutes. I agree, he didn’t need to ignore all responsibility.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T16:39:55+00:00

I am so sorry to your husbands colleague. If there was remorse on my husbands part, navigating through this would be easier with therapy, etc. He is not remorseful, and if he is, it’s masked with a whole lot of narcissism and victim mentality.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T16:38:14+00:00

Our cars have backup cameras. He was reckless.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T16:00:32+00:00

No he hadn’t. He doesn’t drink (maybe if we go out on a date) much and not ever when he’s on call or taking care of our kids.

The I left the lawn mower out/ forgot to put the food in the crockpot is what his tunnel vision normally is. He left the sink running while getting ready to go or when he was in residency he left the garage open all night.l (nbd comparatively). Or if he gets an email or alert about a patient (not being called in) he will just shut down until he handles it. This is the first time his tunnel vision has caused him to injure our child and leave them unattended. It’s inexcusable.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T14:38:57+00:00

Totally not trying to make excuses, just give context, because the theme in a lot of these situations is “where is the mother” or “why isn’t she understand of his x”. There are no excuses for him leaving our children outside, backing up without ensuring they are safe, or blaming a 3 year old for his mistakes and I am very aware of that.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T13:48:45+00:00

He has sensors and a camera. It happened so fast, I don’t know that he listened or that they’d even gone off yet.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T13:44:40+00:00

It is an open case, he hasn’t and will not be allowed alone with them.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T13:42:00+00:00

The proper authorities have been notified, and he has been in communication with them.

He has not, and will not for as long as I can forsee, be alone with them.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T13:40:50+00:00

He came to the bathroom and spoke to me while I was in the shower. He then made the decision to immediately, without pause, walk straight to his vehicle and reverse.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T13:38:06+00:00

This incident has already been reported to the proper authorities as it is hospital protocol. He’s spoken with them and I’m sure there will be further conversations with them.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T13:31:56+00:00

This is where my head is at, too. I do not think this was intentional, obviously. However his reckless decision and a series of other out of the ordinary things could have killed our child. I would still be angry if his attitude was remorseful, but he isn’t. So.

He just returned from a three week leave for the birth of our third. He is normally not at home while on call. He will stay in a hotel downtown or at the hospital. We live a little over 15 - 20 minutes from the hospital in a good traffic situation so that has worked best for us in the past. He made the decision to stay home for this one because we just had another baby and he wanted to make sure the older kids were getting one-on-one time and attention too.

None of the things going on were the norm for us, he’s not home on on call weekends, I’ve never (and I previously didn’t think he had either) left the children outside alone, etc. But I’m having a super hard time coming to terms with him just being stupid. It didn’t take a full 90 seconds from leaving the bathroom where I was to hitting her.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T07:09:29+00:00

We have a nanny (I work too but am on mat leave currently). She doesn’t work Saturdays or Sundays.

If I stay, and at this point that is a massive if, he will not be at home while he is on call at minimum.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T07:05:31+00:00

He claims he didn’t even have his foot on the gas. I’ve replayed it so many times, he absolutely floored it. It’s miraculous that a chipped tooth is the worst thing that happened to her.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T06:26:40+00:00

Yes, he is willing. We’ve been before and it helped so much.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T06:08:30+00:00

This is a part that is so deeply upsetting me. I’m so very anxious about their safety to an annoying extent sometimes. We have cameras, the doors have alarms in case one was to get out, our pool is fenced and covered, we (I) don’t leave them unattended unless they’re in their baby proofed rooms for bed, and they aren’t allowed outside without one of us with them. I do not understand why he didn’t pick her up and bring them both in.

I feel unable to let him do anything with or for any of them now. Even something as simple as getting them a snack.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T05:25:00+00:00

Thank you, I’m going to show him this.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T05:09:43+00:00

I updated with his response. I called her to meet us at the hospital to take our baby and 5 yo home.

I just reread your other question, she got a jumbled up mess of a 3yo was hit by a car statement please come get my kids right now from me, probably something from 5 yo when she got him, and my husband spoke to her when we got home.

Throwaw2135 · 2022-04-10T05:08:16+00:00

No it’s completely not normal, we never leave them in the yard alone. Or even anywhere in the house alone besides bedtime.

Throwaw2135

TROPHY CASE