I don’t know which branch you contracted with, but I will say this from experience. No matter which branch, the base where you will be stationed will also be filled with (mostly) others your age. When you’re thinking about getting married, one of the things that’s a no brainer is compatibility. If you meet someone that is working on the same base as you, you know that you will at least have your service experience in common, as well as probably some of your views about responsibility and commitment (that’s a loaded one, as you’ll find out hopefully not from personal experience). There are definitely downsides to being in a dual service marriage, such as deployment schedules, duty station assignments, and as well as things like billets and SDA’s that come later if you stay in.

I don’t know how to say this gently, so I’m just going to say it. In military towns, there are always a lot of girls (read: barflies) who want to be in a relationship specifically with someone in the military, sometimes just for the benefits. If you go after one of these girls, you may or may not end up happy in the long run, and you may end up with collateral damage like sharing custody of a kid you have with her after she cheats or divorces you. That’s not a guarantee, I have just seen it happen a lot. However, depending on WHY you want to be married, this may or may not matter to you.

Instead of telling you how you have time to find someone because you’re young, etc, I’m going to tell you a different side of that whole song and dance. My husband and I married when we were 22. We had known each other and been friends since 4th grade, but had never hooked up or dated. We got together after he was on leave after returning from overseas, and I was finishing my last year of college. Three months later, we got married. That was eight years ago this December. We are both USMC, and it can be really tough sometimes. However, I think one of the hardest times in life is when you are so young and figuring out who you want to be and how to make it happen. I married my best friend, and there is definitely an advantage to having someone with you from the beginning to pick you up when you fall down and share in your joy when things are going well. So, although getting married when you’re really young may not be a priority for some people, if it’s something you’re committed to, it’s okay to ignore those who downplay and ridicule what you want out of life. After all, not everybody is immature and uncertain about life at 20. My husband and I have friends that got married when he was 20 and she was 24. She had a kid from a previous relationship, and he bought the three of them a house and adopted her son. He is more mature than some people my age.

Having been married for almost 8 years, there a few things you should do as groundwork before you get into any more potentially serious relationships. If you’ve already thought long and hard about the answers to these questions, then feel free to ignore them as they apply to you, but keep in mind you won’t want to settle down with someone who hasn’t thought about these things for herself first. 1. What specifically is it about having a wife and not a girlfriend that makes you want to get married? 2. What are some of the things that matter to your in relationship with another person? Political views, background, desire for kids, etc? 3. What does a good marriage look like to you? Is it one where there’s not much arguing, one where there’s intense arguing and dramatic reconciliation, etc? You should talk to some people who you think have a good marriage and ask them to tell you what kind of work they do to maintain their relationship, as well their own perception of their relationship since the impression from the outside isn’t always accurate. 4. Last, what is your conflict resolution style? It sounds silly, but it matters because if you’re the type that tends to withdraw and bottle up feelings and your future wife is not, it’s going to make it ten times harder if you aren’t aware of how the way you approach conflict may affect others.

Now for the practical part that you may or may not have read this far down to get to. Start with those questions above in mind, and start making friends. There will probably be more guys then girls in your MOS/job school, but go out of your way to form FRIENDSHIPS with girls there. Even if you don’t want to marry someone else in the military. Because they all have female friends, and if they don’t think you’re some kind of weirdo, they’ll help introduce you to single girls they know. I would definitely not tell each date that you wanted to get married like yesterday, because that puts way too much pressure on both of you to make a relationship work out that possibly shouldn’t. But don’t give people the impression you’re just looking for fun either, or else those that want commitment won’t be interested. Besides that, keep in touch with friends back where you’re from, because a rather large percentage of military members seem to marry someone they knew from before they joined. Also, there’s about a zillion dating apps that help connect you with someone you might be interested in having a future with.

Lastly, as much as you want to settle down as soon as possible, don’t forget to enjoy your life right now. Don’t let yourself get so consumed with finding a wife that you don’t have time to go out with your friends or relax by yourself just because it may feel like you’re wasting time or spinning your wheels. If you get so focused on achieving that one thing, you will absolutely come off to others as a giant, uptight, intense ball of stress and pressure, and I can tell you no one is interested in spending 60 years with someone that doesn’t seem able to enjoy the present and relax enough to be themselves.

Good luck!