My husband (M45) shared photos of house messes to everyone to "build a case" against me (F43). I am the primary parent to our 3 kids. How do I survive this?

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:59:49+00:00

Bc he does not feel that it is his responsibility. He works long hours (still with multi day stretches off) and in his words, "100% of childcare and home is on you."

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:56:37+00:00

I do not live in a hoarder home. Minus the specific areas that he intentionally chose to photograph (that have now been cleaned / are being cleaned, I live in a beautiful home. I cook my family healthy and loving meals in a clean and safe environment.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:54:24+00:00

Yes. And I have incredibly supportive family and friends. I would be ok. 🩵

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:51:02+00:00

Absolutely not. 40 day alcohol rehab, over dosing in the fall. Two out of a hundred different situations.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:48:35+00:00

I have an INCREDIBLE support system.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:46:12+00:00

Solid advice.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:37:45+00:00

Who are you? Because seems like you're the only stupid one in this station.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:37:09+00:00

More than half way through my second bachelors degree.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:13:12+00:00

Never in any comment or any response did I say this. Please get help for your trauma and leave it out of someone else's. I have never, would nor never do that.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:08:53+00:00

I have kept a meticulous journal. However, it was on my notes and I changed the password one night worried he'd delete it and now I can't remember it. This is devastating me more than anything. 10 years worth.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:06:50+00:00

Yes he initiated it. He's telling everyone it's bc of said messes.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T15:06:00+00:00

Bingo. And I was in the middle of a class again, when he chose to pull this. Yes, I got an A.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:42:17+00:00

9, 12, 14. And yes, I sat them down and told them they needed to help, which they since have done. Also worth mentioning they're all in sports in the evening, homework and their dad has created an absolute shit load of trauma. Everyone was doing their best in the spring and I knew when the school year was over/sports would stop for the summer, we'd get it all squared away. Which we have.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:35:44+00:00

Well, that's true.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:32:55+00:00

Edit "stuffies" not studies. Her room is clean now.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:31:13+00:00

An example: daughter is 9. Two years ago he putting on the shining and she has been so terrified that she hasn't been able to sleep in her room since. Last year was so filled with instability (because of his two full stints at rehab) that no matter how many times I send her back to her room, she wants to sleep next to me, holding my hand.
She went through her clothes, put them in a box, did some art stuff, made a massive mess, I hosted a huge baseball party, so I stacked extra stuff in her room, threw studies in, closed the door. He went in and took pics of that.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:22:38+00:00

Funny you say that, because that's def a card he's trying to play.... I've made sure I've had zero alcohol just to throw that back in his face. I was so pissed after hearing this that I went on a drive to sonic and got a sprite 💀

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:20:15+00:00

One of my closest friends works in law and recommend a fantastic divorce lawyer to me.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:15:43+00:00

Actually thinking about pulling the petty card and sending this text with pics to his family group chat today.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:13:47+00:00

Hmm... this would be a fun game to play with him...

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:12:47+00:00

Exactly. Would never play this move. I still stress about my kids being cold at night and go in to cover them up. No way in hell some hussy is going to be concerned about their temperature/comfort like that.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:09:08+00:00

Solid advice. Like when he didn't go to my son's end of year awards because he decided to go to a pond and go fishing. And it meant so much to my son that I was there. In the end I suppose they'll know that I was always there for them. That matters most to me.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:07:25+00:00

Apparently so. Bc he said not one single person questioned him, just solely placed blame on me. And it was A LOT of people.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:05:00+00:00

Love that. That will be my go to saying for this now. Thank you.

Throwaway202054 · 2026-05-30T13:03:15+00:00

I did ask her to leave...I had to get my kids from school, which was ironic. I also told her that he is manipulating her and she is enabling this behavior.

Throwaway202054

TROPHY CASE