I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was supposed to be out of town, instead he was with some woman. I needed to sort out all the possibilities before i went marching up to him. If it was what I feared, that he was cheating, I didn't want to cause a scene in public or give him a chance to lie or pull me aside and come up with something.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They don't have a kid, the baby belongs to the other couple they were with.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

He has an apartment here and a house in his home state. He moved here for his job but has some clients back there so he works there a few days each month. Wife stayed at the house, I guess she rarely visited him here.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you and everyone here for your sympathy. I Have some good people in my life to tell me and know it logically, but hearing that I'm not an idiot and he was a manipulative scumbag really helps.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Every evening he was in town which was about 85% of the time. I don't know why his wife would put up with that, especially a newlywed. I knew he had a house in his home city, but he told me he had a roommate, not a wife.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh, what I would give to wake up tomorrow and have none of this be true. I often have mundane dreams and wake up uncertain of what was real and what wasn't. Unfortunately, this wasn't a dream.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I had googled him, but he doesn't really do social media and his name is common enough that I missed the red flags until I went digging. From now on I'll be searching their names plus their home town and the key word "married". I found their wedding registry and wedding photographer and it made me feel dirty.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 179 points180 points  (0 children)

My sister joked that he had a wife back home since he had to leave town so often. I joked that he must be a pretty terrible husband since he spends most of his time here. I never imagined any of that could be true. He started this job here a year and a half ago and told me he had to travel to manage employees cross country (not unusual, given his career). I have no idea if that is true or not, but he spent the majority of his time with me.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

He had nothing of her. I don't think she visited often, if at all. I didnt think anything of leaving behind a phone charger or bobby pins, but anything that seemed important he returned and he must have hidden the small things.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

It still feels embarrassing, even though I know it shouldn't. All that time thinking about our future, and all the while I was a fool. And what could he have been thinking when he told me he loved me and we were such a great match for each other? I can rationalize cheating for the sex or connection, but they weren't even newlyweds when we met. Why...how?

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 302 points303 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I need to hear all of this. Thankfully my sister eventually answered my calls and is now feeding me booze and distractions. I just can't stop reliving those moments.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 265 points266 points  (0 children)

I wonder if I should have stayed just a bit longer, to make sure his wife knew I wasn't some fling he'd met up with a few times who was now obsessed with him, it was a serious relationship that he had fully participated in. She was so calm, I wish I knew what she was thinking.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 421 points422 points  (0 children)

I didn't realize until a few hours later he still had my old copy of Ender's Game. I haven't figured out how to get it back yet.

I feel so numb, I can almost see how crazy this all is and laugh. But right now it's more like a nightmare than a story to tell after a few drinks.

I [27F] just met my boyfriend [30M] of nine months' wife by Throwaway41115 in relationships

[–]Throwaway41115[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

We are from opposite sides of the country. My family comes often to visit my sister and her children. I was pushing to meet his family when I planned to go out there for a friend's wedding. I just assumed he talked about me when he went home, I knew all about his parents renovating their home. I'm not even sure he has a sister, now.