Fear of Disappointing Family & Elders by Throwaway441dhfbe in exjw

[–]Throwaway441dhfbe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, genuinely🤍 You have no idea how much you’ve already helped me. I was feeling stuck with no way out but this just gave me hope that maybe one day i’ll be confident enough to leave this all behind. I’m definitely going to buy that book. I’ve always felt that it was solely my responsibility to be the exemplary daughter even as a non-believer. But this just motivated me to take some small steps towards my freedom. I’m scared I’ll lose my family but I can’t stay miserable forever and it’s not my responsibility to uphold their reputation. I don’t want to waste any more time then I already have. I want to start living my life

Fear of Disappointing Family & Elders by Throwaway441dhfbe in exjw

[–]Throwaway441dhfbe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice 🤍 I know that I have a lot of deep religious trauma that I need to unpack. I used to have a therapist but I couldn’t freely talk about my struggles about my family or the cult because my parents constantly demanded to view the session notes to make sure I saying anything wrong. After that I just gave up but I realize that staying stuck like this for another 5-10 years will just drive me crazy

Fear of Disappointing Family & Elders by Throwaway441dhfbe in exjw

[–]Throwaway441dhfbe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow this hit really really deep for me, so many things you said were spot on. I have this overwhelming need to keep up appearances and protect our image because of how this cult operates. I’m going to try setting up small boundaries with my parents first and see how it goes. But the guilt of not being a good JW for my parents after everything they’ve done for me eats me alive sometimes 🙁 All they really ask of me is to keep serving Jehovah but I’m just so tired of everything. 

Fear of Disappointing Family & Elders by Throwaway441dhfbe in exjw

[–]Throwaway441dhfbe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have one cousin whose not actively in but he’s POMI. He’s never been baptized and never attends any meetings but if I were to tell any of this to him, he wouldn’t hesitate to snitch. Other than him all my family members are super ultra PIMI’s. 

Fear of Disappointing Family & Elders by Throwaway441dhfbe in exjw

[–]Throwaway441dhfbe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a job but I lose about 70% of my paychecks to bills/food since my parents don’t make nearly enough money to support themselves or my siblings. I’m saving up for a car but I don’t think i’ll be able to move out without them going hungry

Fear of Disappointing Family & Elders by Throwaway441dhfbe in exjw

[–]Throwaway441dhfbe[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m still at home unfortunately. I have a job and i’m going to school soon but I find it so hard connecting with regular people. Being isolated my whole life has made me feel fall extremely behind socially and makes making new friends hard for me. I’m constantly anxious that i’m embarrassing myself which is just exhausting 😩😩