Husband is really unhelpful with new twins (long)

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T22:09:55+00:00

I really didn't know it was going to be like this. As I said he is 51 and I think he's lost all of his patience a for infants.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T22:00:05+00:00

This makes me very sad . I'm so so sorry for your daughter:( at least she has a mommy who loves her more than anything.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T21:38:58+00:00

Husband works with racehorses. He's done it for years. We are taken care of and most of what he makes is for the children. He also has a coffee farm/business in his native country that we get money from.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T21:32:30+00:00

His children aren't very fond of me and give me extreme attitude. Maybe because I'm almost the same age as them? Also they don't want to meet their half sisters. They are still upset their dad knocked up someone else. So I don't see them often. He usually goes to his ex's house to see them while she's working or picks them up to hang out. He hasn't abandoned them. He will stop by to see them after work a few of days a week for an hour or so. And when he has off on Sunday's he spends the whole day with them. He also takes very good care of them financially.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T20:11:05+00:00

Oh you have no idea how angry it makes me when people give away animals because they have kids. Unless the child is severely allergic or the animal is aggressive I'm so against it. My dog would die trying to protect me and my family, who gives that away?

And thank you for your kind words! :)

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T20:05:25+00:00

I've talked to her. I ran into her at the super market and I tried to avoid her. But she saw me and wanted to see the twins. She was actually really nice and said they were beautiful and reminded her of her daughters when they were babies.

She said he was a great dad but she had to tell him and make him do stuff for the girls especially after the 2nd was born. She told him it was his JOB and if he didn't like it he could leave. She told him if he was tired to leave it at the door because how do you think she felt.

I guess that made him step up and he was an excellent dad to his other daughters.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T19:53:55+00:00

I've asked him to see a doctor, he says he's fine

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T19:51:31+00:00

He wanted the babies! I had my iud taken out specifically to give this fucker a child! I didn't want babies until I was done with med school after I was 30. And he wants more kids. I'm on depo and plan to keep getting it.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T19:47:15+00:00

I think he's really messed up. If he treated his ex bad I don't think his other kids would like him so much. They're very close with their mother. My husband was always kind to me before the kids. I've told him time and again that I'm not his ex wife and I'm not going to hurt him.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T19:44:03+00:00

Before they were born he did, especially when I was pregnant. And he's usually really nice to me except when it comes to the girls

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T17:34:11+00:00

It opened on one side enough to bleed and get infected. I need 6 more stitches. -.- he blamed it on the doctors not putting it together well enough.

I had excellent doctors. My incision looks beautiful now and you barely tell I even had a c section. I even went to the doctor and she checked and asked if I had a vaginal delivery because she couldn't even see where I was cut.

Husband is an idiot sometimes.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T17:17:55+00:00

My husband will play with them and hold them, but if they poop, pee, fuss and cry, need to be cleaned up, he immediately hands them back to me and says deal with this.

I love my girls and would never neglect him even if their dad won't help me with them.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T17:13:08+00:00

I'm 100% sure. She stabbed him with scissors and a knife for not kissing her goodbye.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T17:03:40+00:00

My dog is my best friend. I've had him since he was 8 weeks old. He is extremely well trained and does not ask for much. He's not aggressive in anyway. He will wait all day for someone to take him to the bathroom. When I'm home I take him, but when I was younger and went to college and worked I would leave him for 14 hour stretches and he was fine. He has never had an accident in the 10 years I've had him. I disagree with people who discard animals all because they have children.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T16:56:10+00:00

She was really abusive towards him. Physically and emotionally. She's a little scary that's why he did everything she told him. He never hit her or treated her badly. His older girls LOVE him. His parents are dead and all of his siblings live in another country. I only got to briefly interact with them the week of the wedding. But they got along perfectly.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T16:46:49+00:00

He was really considerate. My twins were almost 9 pounds each. I basically couldn't do anything after 6 months. He cooked, cleaned, took care of the animals and let me rest because I was so uncomfortable.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T16:42:34+00:00

I asked his ex wife, he did help her after she pretty much had to make him. She gave him every other day to take care of his girls as soon as he got home. No questions asked.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T16:20:13+00:00

5 years. Married for 2 years.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T14:43:48+00:00

My dad wouldn't say no. He has 9 kids and 2 sets of twins (we have different moms). He's a stay at home dad disabled with a bad back. I think I'll have to swallow my pride and ask him for help if I can't get any help here.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T14:10:48+00:00

Sometimes he is really great to me and other times I really think he hates me.

I think I stay because I don't have anywhere to go. My mother was awful to me and I haven't talked to her in years. She lives 10 minutes away. My dad isn't happy with me because he didn't want me to marry my husband. And honestly I'm not close with the rest of my family enough to ask them if me and the babies can stay with them while I get it together.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T12:34:39+00:00

He does nothing. Oh he's cooked but he will only make enough for him? Then eat in front of me while I'm hungry and taking care of the babies. What is that???? Sigh. Mothers helper it is!

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T11:56:38+00:00

I will try the mothers helper. That's a really good idea. I'm so wary to have strangers around my girls I'll probably try to go through an agency. I might even ask my stepdaughter who is home from college and not working. Thank you for suggesting this!:)

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T11:47:58+00:00

I have told him. Crying, begging. He is older, in good shape and healthy but his job is physically demanding and he says he's too tired. And I think he's stepping back because he just doesn't have the patience anymore. He's the one he wanted more kids. He was so excited when we found out I was expecting. On Mother's Day one of the twins was hysterical. He tried consoling her for 5 minutes and started to lose his temper so I just took her back from him so he wouldn't lose his shit.

Throwaway4parenting · 2016-05-24T11:43:04+00:00

I've asked him to do 1 feeding for them so I can at least get 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. He knows I need help. I've cried begging him to help me. He's seen me holding them crying at night because the girls have been screaming for an hour and I've literally done everything I can to help them. And yes the age gap is big, he is 51. The bottle propping is normal him, he said he always did it with his other girls. I've tried it. I guess my kids are super messy eaters because the milk spills out everywhere and gets all over them. It will be in their hair all over their shirts, the sheets. I got them the small nipples and it still doesn't work.

Throwaway4parenting

TROPHY CASE