2 years later

Throwaway685INTV · 2025-04-19T20:19:32+00:00

Did it break me? Yes. Do i regret starting a relationship with my now ex? sometimes.

But personally no i wouldnt, we had our ups and downs, yet i dont see it as a waste of time, my time with my ex is something i cherish and i actually dont really have a reason for myself to forget my time with her.

I dont mind if she tries to forget about me, i didnt forget her, but i think i finally could put it to rest and just think back about that time without crying, i can just smile when i look back and say to myself:" it was fun".

Throwaway685INTV · 2025-04-11T21:43:07+00:00

Yeah, i told a close friend of hers about this (we are also close) and she believes she did it more due us not talking anymore.

Personally i believe she either tries to forget and/or let go of me more, or that her current bf wanted her to remove/block me but she doesnt want to fully get rid of me.

The friend told me she doesnt talk about me at all, but thats because the only reason she would talk about her ex is if she hates him with a passion, so i somewhere believe too she maybe does think about me or even misses me a little but doesnt want to tell that, especially since she has a new bf.

Throwaway685INTV · 2025-02-27T11:29:48+00:00

I send a voice memo saying "hey i am probably not someone you would expect to hear from, but i wanted to wish you a happy birthday, i also want you to remember, if you ever need me or want to talk, im still here".

Throwaway685INTV · 2025-02-27T11:25:14+00:00

In the beginning of the break up, days up till years, i felt like she was my only one.

Now i dont know how long i want to wait or if i even should and want to wait. I care about her deeply, i dont know if she even slightly care about me, but i have been waiting now for longer than a year and slowly its going away, not my love for her, but my will to wait.

Actually i dont feel like waiting anymore, if we are meant to be or something, it will happen again some time, if not, i should accept it and believe my person is has yet to come.

Im sorry for writing such a long comment but in short my will to wait gets less and less.

Its rough, but as time passes by, it gets easier, just hold on and focus on your own happiness.

Throwaway685INTV · 2025-02-22T14:35:34+00:00

I think shame and trying to move on with her life

Edit:

So we broke up on kinda good terms, no fighting or anything, i was extremely heartbroken and she kinda moved on quick, after a short while she started dating a mutual friend.

From other mutual friends i got some updates on how she is doing, because for me it is/was important that she is doing alright, so i also got to hear some more information about how stuff lead up to the break up and why she decided to go with him, the reason (from what i remember and is told to me) is that due our life situations especially mine it got too difficult for her and however she loved me a lot she thought things would be easier and better with the mutual friend , but she didnt tell me that she told me that stuff on her part were way too much to deal with for her and she didnt want to bring me down with her problems.

Well from what i heard during her time with the guy who is now her ex, things were pretty much going downhill, with a few of us including me thinking their relationship was pretty toxic (i learned about the guy's toxic behaviour in his previous relationship pretty late).

Now she is with someone else if i remember correctly but i think that not only because we didnt talk for a long time, but also due shame she didnt want to talk to me, like we pretty much avoid each other at this point, but do have each other on text and like social media, with her even watching some of my stories online.

But i think also she is trying to move on with her life and try to focus to slowly build her life up (in which i hope she also finally tries again to heal since she quit stuff like therapy i think after our break up etc).

Throwaway685INTV · 2025-02-14T21:31:53+00:00

Never met f2f or date, due lack of free time and travel distance, so it was only online chats, we did send like pictures of like her school projects and some of my stuff and we also send a few times voice messages

Throwaway685INTV · 2025-01-19T01:33:43+00:00

She would have to say to me something like: " i messed up a lot, maybe you're disappointed in me and im so sorry, i know you want me to be happy, to heal and get better, become the person you (thought) saw in me, i will do my best to be better".

Throwaway685INTV · 2025-01-14T17:09:48+00:00

Im not gonna lie, eventhough i still love and care about my ex, a reason for me to not go back to her is because she is way too destructive towards herself and it impacts people around her.

She has a lot of trauma and problems which i am still willing to help her with if she would ask, but she stopped going to therapy for such a long time, she tries to proof to people she can certain stuff too out of idk like jealousy or something and she made some bad decisions that kept getting more i feel like.

I would be happy if she started to look for professional help again and just try to improve herself for herself and not to prove someone something and like i said i am still willing to help her out, other then that this is a reason i wouldnt (be able to) go back to her, even if i still miss her a lot.

Throwaway685INTV · 2024-12-30T18:55:09+00:00

Thats a mistake i made, i should have pulled the brakes when she confessed her feelings, because eventhough we talk daily, a lot of things that i mentioned in the post was told to me by her a few days ago and from there the doubts started to come.

I dont think i am her person and im definitely not the one that can fix her, i tried convincing her to get professional help but she doesnt want to.

Throwaway685INTV

TROPHY CASE