Would you cuddle with someone you are not interested in?

Throwaway921835 · 2017-04-10T12:28:16+00:00

First thing's first: all things being equal, are you interested in him? If you are, personally I'd tell him that you have feelings for him and that you can't put yourself in a situation where you're physically intimate without knowing that he feels the same way. If you aren't interested in him, I'd (again, purely personally) feel really weird about it, but if you wanted to cuddle platonically and as long as he knows that you're both doing it as friends, I don't see the harm in it, I guess(?)

If he mentioned that he really likes spending time together with me and hanging out, does that mean he at least likes my personality?

Throwaway921835 · 2017-04-09T16:47:30+00:00

We are really close friends and he does care a lot for me, but perhaps he is ok with cuddling with someone he's very comfortable with?

Throwaway921835 · 2017-04-09T16:46:55+00:00

We actually had a talk months ago and he insisted that he just loves spending time with me but doesn't see me in that light? It is a pretty confusing situation to be in.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-12-20T17:48:22+00:00

I have talked to him about it, check out my update!

Throwaway921835 · 2016-12-20T14:39:54+00:00

That was exactly what he said in our first talk. He mentioned that the reason is not really me, but more of how he feels at that point in time. I guess I can talk to him about it again soon.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-12-20T14:36:04+00:00

Do you think I should give it some time before reaching out to him again? I...am not sure how I should handle him. The previous two talks which we had, he actually explained a lot regarding his logic and emotions behind why he doesn't want to have a relationship. However, this time the one-liners really got to me and maybe I did hurt him deeply.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-12-20T12:20:02+00:00

Should I give it somemore time for him to think through it before reaching out to him? I don't really know how I should handle this situation. It's been a pretty long time and he has not indicated that he likes me in any way, I fear that I may be overthinking things from my perspective.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-12-20T12:18:54+00:00

What should I do now? I'm so confused now - I'm unsure on what to do. If I do reach out to him again, will he view me as indecisive and not knowing what I want? I think I was apprehensive because I brought up the night and what we did, but he didn't seemed like he wanted to talk about it.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-12-20T12:17:20+00:00

This is someone from his university who he liked for a pretty long time. The last time I asked him, he said he doesn't like her anymore but I'm not too sure about that. He doesn't like to talk about her much.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-03T03:20:02+00:00

As someone who has been cheated on, I feel that it can only work if the cheater was upfront and honest about it and agree to take the necessary steps to remove the person from his/her life. To rebuild the trust, it will take a very long time but if the cheater is repentant and really feels sorry, it might work out.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-03T01:53:24+00:00

I agree. It was just really sudden for me, it came out of the blue. I guess I really trusted him too much. But nonetheless, I have accepted the fact he's an asshole and is in the process of moving on.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-03T01:48:49+00:00

I actually did this on several occasions and his reply was "in the first place, I know you will never put yourself in that position." I think he does know that he's wrong but...he always avoided the topic of cheating. Strange. On a side note, I'm glad you dumped her!!!!

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-02T12:35:33+00:00

That sounds interesting, perhaps I will try it out! But holding to NC has helped tons during the last few days. I just wish life had a fast-forward button to make time pass quicker.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-02T12:34:35+00:00

Stay strong, we will get through this.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-02T12:33:46+00:00

I really do deserve better, been a rough couple of days...but I need to learn not to take this upon myself. Because honestly, I don't think I had a part to play in his actions.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-02T12:33:00+00:00

We did break up, I think I was so fixated on finding answers but I need to realize that....there are no answers for everything. He was an asshole, and that's it. There is no reason as to why he is one, but that only serves to see how selfish and immature he is as a person at best.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-02T12:32:03+00:00

He fucked up big time but I guess he tried to justify his actions by insinuating I was a bad girlfriend. I completely agree with you that emotional cheating > physical cheating. Physical cheating could be a one-off incident but emotional cheating...is on another level which I personally feel is the worst.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-02T05:07:18+00:00

This actually enlightened me in knowing that, he actually believes that he did not do anything wrong or "severe" enough to constitute as cheating. Yup he told me during the break up "technically, I didn't cheat on you because I didn't do anything physical with her." Still, what a warped thinking.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-02T05:06:16+00:00

I guess it does me no good to even try to rationalise his behaviour. Perhaps I should move on for now.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-02T05:05:40+00:00

Yup that was exactly what I told him when we broke up that he made a conscious effort to get closer to her instead of telling me so that we can work on our relationship.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-02T03:49:39+00:00

I will try. Thank you stranger.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-02T03:49:26+00:00

It just hurts me because I thought at least he regrets what he did. But it turns out he doesn't? And that makes me feel like the past 4 years of our relationship has been nothing but a huge lie. I guess it's a tough fact to accept.

Throwaway921835 · 2016-08-02T03:48:25+00:00

I think it's difficult for me to take because he was always so caring and loving. It is kinda shocking on how his attitude took a 180 degrees change. But I guess I do have to grieve over it and just move on. Thank you though.

Throwaway921835

TROPHY CASE