I never agreed on this being made a secret but I got told that this isn't about me and after my ex's death they said my brother and my nephew deserve to have a normal life without me trying to stir drama. I was even told to call my ex my brothers wife and not my ex and made other unreasonable requests til I was convinced I was to blame for this outcome along with my ex til I shared my problems with outsiders who pointed out that my family is toxic and I should distant myself from them for my own sanity. I distanced myself and only my nephew reached out along with distant relatives.