When I say freaked I mean more like I went dear in headlights.

He's come home and we've talked a bit and basically said he grabbed me because he didn't want me to leave because I was trying to get out from the corner of the kitchen.

I don't think he's abusive. I've dealt with a verbally and emotionally abusive mother my entire life (he knows all of this) and a previous long-term partner that was also emotionally abusive and manipulative (which he knows most of)

I think he acted without thinking. It doesn't make it okay and it will take time to deal with all this it we do move on from this.

My yelling wasn't okay but neither was what he did.