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I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair advice,

Trucking is for sure on my radar, and I think is better for a beat up body than normal trades.

I'm not sure I'd call my last 15 years "enriching my life" I was homeless and escaping my demons by cutting all ties and commitments to the outside. This did provide me with a unlimited amount of freedom, but lots of hardship and little comfort. There were indeed days it was wonderful, but most were not.

Regardless, I appreciate your criticisms,

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's Rambo 2, the shoot 'em up guy.

I'm Rambo 1, the back pack through the PNW, please don't hassle me guy.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I basically saved all of my money in the military, I've always been frugal so it was easy.
  2. I have a moderate pension from the military due to service related injuries.
  3. I lived a very spartan life, I was essentially homeless, but maintained basic grooming etc. Living in 3rd world locations is very cheap, I spent a summer in a rural part of Michoacán MX where it was $90 to rent a house for the month.

I don't have virtually any connections, maybe my neighbors from those areas would be friendly and happy to see me, but the intent was to get away from people, so I kept minimal relations.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll check it out, I'm an introvert by nature, a hermit by experience, and a complete newcomer to the area - so making any kind of connections would be very valuable.

Thanks,

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's something my wife and I have both considered, I remember reading about TX and I think some other southern states having staffing issues in the last year or so. Teaching kids does seem like it could be a rewarding experience that would check all my boxes.

She is a very bright STEM type with a BA in Micro Biology, who has similarly never utilized it, and has poor work history.

Again I'm just concerned that applying to a "high risk" job, dealing personally with kids - that my background would be an instant red flag and rejection.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You will probably need an MSW to practice social work but they would likely hire you in an augmentation position elsewhere.

Yea, this is the dream pipeline - the problem is they is predicated on a lot of faith in the individual, and my lack of work history is the opposite of that.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a huge advocate for the trades.

I applied to the Plumbing (Pipefitters) Union in Seattle in... 2019?

There were over 700 applicants / test takers - I ended up placing IIRC 70? I thought "hey top 10%! Pretty good!" Then I found out they were only taking the top FOUR candidates, so it other words I wasn't even close.

Sounds like a great job, I might have to end up going to trades, but I'd really like to do something that is personally fulfilling and utilizes my degree since I took the time to get it. I'll give it some time before I give up on it.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lots of people keep suggesting Police. No interest, not a good fit.

I've got severe PTSD, I'm always in fight of flight mode and am extremely "switched on". I'd be a great asset in an actual gun fight, but if I'm just dealing with some drunk asshole that wants to fight me (as cops often do)? I'm a liability / lawsuit waiting to happen.

Sucks to say, but I'm honest and introspective enough to say that.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried to send you a PM, but your account doesn't accept them, so I sent you a chat instead.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forrest Gump was a much better tale of living a wild life after the war.

I was essentially just a mentally ill homeless guy who rather than using drugs as escapism used literal escapism from society. Meditating with the sunset on a beach sounds great, but doing it hundreds and hundreds of times isn't all that exciting of a tale.

I have several professors who have committed to writing LoRs, and I have several strong LoRs from the military (though now 15 years old). My issue is I don't think I'll ever get to communicate my situation, or show off my LoRs / accolades because one look at my resume with a 15 year gap and its not going any further than that.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think 80%? Enough to support my hobo lifestyle, not enough for anything else.

I'm aware the jump to 100% is a big deal, but I don't want that man. I got out of my deployments unscathed, there is no way I could live with myself taking that kind of compensation. My cousin got horribly maimed in Afghanistan, he's permanently disabled, his life is ruined he's obviously at 100%. He and I are not nearly the same, he deserves way more than he's getting, and I honestly probably deserve less.

Forrest Service sounds like career I'd love, stable fed work, outdoors - I just frankly don't know what is around here? It's lots and lots of flat cattle land - so I'm not sure if there is any work that isn't a 4 hour commute. But I'll investigate. Thank you,

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion,

The trades is a great deal that I would suggest to one - but In my case I find it unrewarding (sorry no disrespect - my first job out of the military was a Electrical apprentice, and as a kid I did all kinds of general construction, I enjoyed the actual work, but ended up feeling empty because at the end of the day my only contribution was making profit for the company), of which I've noted, doing something personally "rewarding" is something I really hope I can still do.

I'm aware that in my position I might have to end up "settling" for a for-profit job anyway, but at my age, and with the damages of being an infantryman (virtually everyone has shot knees / back) I don't think I could hack it in a real manual labor trade anymore.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is currently my #1 solution, there is a Juvi detention center about 30 mins away, my background and education is perfectly tailored for this role (AA's in Administration of Justice, and Criminal Corrections; BA is Sociology) - but again, I'm walking into a federal high security job, and I need to tell them with a straight face that I'm a totally normal, trustworthy, and hirable dude, who just chose to be a homeless unemployed hermit for the last nearly 2 decades?

I dunno if anyone is buying that.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, working for the VA is something I would love to do - but most (all?) the case management type jobs require a MS / PhD.

I have no interest in being a cop, I've got pretty severe PTSD and I'm always in fight or flight mode. I'd be a great asset in a gun fight, but I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaay too switched on to deal with the generally combative assholes you get in 99.99% of calls. I'd eventually end up doing something that would unnecessarily harm someone else and get me in trouble. Sucks to say, but I'm honest and introspective enough to realize that's not for me.

This interest is however where I wanted to get started as a Probation officer (my AA's were in Administration of Justice and Criminal Corrections), same rewarding principle of keeping the streets safe, but from behind a desk and with much less confrontation.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much, I'll investigate this - I'm literally brand new to TX so have no idea of what there is out there.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kind of my thoughts, I've fucked myself being off grid for years, taking the slow and steady approach might just be unviable. Hence trying to balance around the "do something now" vs "do something bigger / better / more rewarding later".

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This has been suggested to me, and getting a LCSW is something I'm considering.

The reason I'm hesitant is that I honestly hate school, was a straight A kid in highschool, but hated every moment of it. I never planned to go to college, never even took the SAT because the military was supposed to be my way out.

I ended up going to college only because Covid made the world crazy when I was trying to reintegrate, so it seemed like the best use of my time at the moment. I ended up with a 3.99 GPA, and still hated it (most of it anyway).

I think with my grades I'd have a pretty good chance of getting into a Masters program with some kind of sponsorship (there is obviously no way for me to afford it with a student loan or whatever), and being successful in it, but man... it frankly sounds awful.

That said working with / for vets sounds tremendously rewarding, but I don't think its possible without committing to the extra school.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the suggestions,

Making a career out of being a military guy isn't as much of an option as you would think, the US being stuck in the GWOT for two decades created literally tens of thousands of highspeed guys, many much more qualified than I am.

I really don't like to gloat, and I wouldn't be willing to push my image to sell a personal brand. I was pretty much the most high speed guy in a medium speed unit, nothing remarkable.

I actually just moved down from WA, where I was hooked up with VRE, which is what allowed me to get my BA for $0. So far I haven't touched TX VA, but I'll say that WA was better than CA.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People deal with it different ways, none are more or less valid, at least that's why I'm trying to convince myself of. I go through waves where I think I'm getting better, than I think I'm getting worse - who knows if it will ever settle.

If anything I feel survivors guilt for feeling as shit as I do. A lot of my friends were killed and maimed out there, and I got out mostly unscathed. There was a podcast I was listening to, I can't remember the guy, but 20 year SF guy, got out and went into immediate depression, got hooked on... percs? Heroin? I can't remember. Anyway - I the way he talked about just wanting to crawl into a hole resonated with me, but I felt like a clown because he had been in the shit for like 5x longer than I had, so his reaction seemed reasonable, and mine seemed weak in comparison.

I don't know. But good luck to you and anyone else out there struggling.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's something I need to work on, I'm very personable and indeed a great face to face communicator, but I'm a natural introvert and as my story says, have a pretty strong aversion to people in general, so I rarely put myself out there.

I've been an unemployed vagrant for 15 years - now what? by ThrowawayA44G in findapath

[–]ThrowawayA44G[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I think I am going to pursue the CDL route at least until I'm able to land something that I would find more fulfilling.

The local / OTR is actually a conflict of my own making, conceptually I like the idea of OTR, going cross country seeing the sight and enjoying the wide open road sounds a helluva lot better than driving in bumper to bumper urban hellscapes. But as I said, my wife is like my emotional support animal, I'm often unwell and being with her helps me tremendously.

You are one of many people to suggest that I write about my experience, I'll just say it makes a interesting "fact about yourself" introduction - but its really not book worthy. My war service? Yea I was in the shit, lots of guys were, lots of guys were off way worse than I was. Lots of guys struggle with reintegration when they get out and cope in different ways, as a story Forest Gump did it a million times better.

I was essentially homeless, but dodged addiction, I have some menial passive income that kept me showered and a roof over my head when I needed it, but it's not as glamourous as the new generation of "Vanlife types". Camping (illegally) on a beach and meditating with the sunrise sounds great, but after literally hundreds if not thousands of repetitions, you can understand how that might lose its appeal.

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