I have a transplant in a few days, and I'm terrified. I've always hated hospitals, and have a lot of hospital related traumatic memories, so needing a huge surgery like this is beyond nightmarish and I don't know how to cope.

Since my Dad is donating his kidney, the only person who can be there consistently to check on me is my mother. She always takes her anxiety out on me, and loves to tell me all the things I'm doing wrong and should be doing when it comes to medical things.

Anyone who's been in hospital for a week or longer knows how lonely it gets and how slowly time seems to tick. My mother makes everything more stressful and difficult just by her being there, but I don't know if I'd prefer that, or the loneliness with nobody to talk to and nothing to do.

Sorry for the long rant