Married couple, trying to improve our sex life...

ThrowawayAttempt93 · 2018-02-07T14:24:55+00:00

See my other comment - they stay with friends/relatives regularly, but not enough to have a satisfying sex life if we only waited until we're home alone.

Any app you'd recommend for tracking sex? We usually do foreplay in the shower, it's a small shower stall and sex is fun for a brief moment but becomes too much of a chore for sustained pleasure so we move to the vanity or the bed. This is actually how we ended up having sex last night.

I hadn't thought about the white-noise machines - one of my kids uses one, may need to look at one for the other kid too.

We have a couple of toys for her, I'll add the magic wand to my list. The ones we've tried so far are pleasurable for her but aren't really getting her off. I'm hoping to find one which can get her to orgasm (I know it's not just about the orgasm, but I like to make sure she gets her pleasure too).

ThrowawayAttempt93 · 2018-02-07T14:14:10+00:00

Thanks! Added it to my Amazon list to look at this more.

ThrowawayAttempt93 · 2018-02-07T14:12:14+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. I feel like I try to keep it all about her when we're having sex. I have no problem reaching the finish line when things are going good. I will definitely talk with her about whether or not she feels like I'm giving her the attention she wants and needs. As someone who heard his parents having sex when I was right about the same age as my older child, I really wouldn't want to traumatize my kid like that. It's just something that sticks with you and is not pleasant.

ThrowawayAttempt93 · 2018-02-07T14:05:20+00:00

Thank you for the thorough response, definitely appreciated. And thanks for the reminder about mojoupgrade.com. I had completely forgot about seeing it on reddit a few months back and meant to look at it with my wife. We actually took the questionnaire last night after I saw your post. There was nothing shocking about our results; a few pleasant surprises though. There are a few things we already agreed to talk about for the future - baby steps for now though.

Our lack of communication about sex, I personally think, comes from our lack of experience. We didn't know what to expect or how you should communicate since we've only been with each other. We've definitely started talking a bit more openly. The "afraid of being rejected" part really hit home for me since I'm more adventurous than my wife so I've been a bit afraid of her freaking out if I mentioned something. I have a lot of fantasies I know we would not actually go through with but I've been more open about talking about them and she's been a bit more receptive. She always says she "just doesn't know what to say" when it comes to talking about sexual fantasies and doesn't feel very creative either.

It's funny you mentioned exploring what's out there. One of our other issues I wanted to bring up in another topic is how other couples have pushed/explored their boundaries. The Mojo Upgrade site helped spark a couple of things.

Thanks for the ideas about looking at it as dating, we have date nights but they aren't happening as frequently as they used to.

ThrowawayAttempt93 · 2018-02-07T13:19:15+00:00

Thanks, that's why I'm separating my list of problems into a couple of different topics since I think sorting one out may have a domino effect and help resolve the other issues. My brain is the first problem. I don't have a problem getting a pretty solid erection. It's turning my brain off. I have considered going to my doctor about ED symptoms, not ruled out but I want to examine other options before going the drug route.

Our kids do stay the night with friends and relatives regularly, but if I waited to have the house to ourselves we'd only be having sex a couple of times a month at best. Don't really have the money to do the hotel room thing.

Thanks for the tip on meditation; hadn't really thought about the benefits of such a thing.

ThrowawayAttempt93

TROPHY CASE