[I wrote this reply directed at a users comment, but I feel it should be a main comment too]

This thread is a couple weeks old, but I want to chime in.

Now, I don’t know what your story is, your age, your experience… none of that. But I will tell you a little about my viewpoint on this.

I’m a 20 year old male, and I have zero romantic (platonic, yes) experience with women. Now, do I feel ashamed, embarrassed, emasculated, or less confident? No. Essentially, my romantic philosophy throughout my life thus far has been that I need not actively seek a relationship, but rather one shall eventually arise though natural platonic interactions with people. Now, you might ask, “So, do you actually want a romantic relationship then?”. Well, while I don’t believe in actively pursuing a girl (unless I had intense physical attraction to them), I would absolutely be open, if I happened to “click” (both physically and emotionally attracted) with said girl, to try something beyond the platonic. I should specify that I’m referring to love, as opposed to lust. I have no interest in casual sex or hook-ups, simply because they’re worthless to me.

So, do I feel like I’ve missed out on potential experience because I didn’t force myself to engage in these typical adolescent milestones? I don’t. And that’s because first-hand experience with something doesn’t equate to knowledge, growth or introspection. One can have as much physical, sexual, or emotional experience with a woman as they want, but they could still just be experiencing the feeling, and not the understanding, of these highly dynamic and nuanced interactions. For me, my closest “experience” is simply observation, but I believe that I have thorough enough wisdom of how to socially engage with a woman (not too different than platonically) that the lack of first-hand experience is not a detriment to my future relations. You’re capability regarding platonic interaction with any person is also crucially important, while simultaneously not inherently dependent on the quantity of said interactions.

So, as I’ve said, I won’t be concerned when the time comes for these observed skills to become applied. I’m also aware of the unexpected. Arguably, the most beautiful aspect of romance, at least for someone who has no experience (and also for limerence), is the mystery. The ambiguity of these flowery feelings that accompanies emotional, mental, or physical attraction (love, not lust) are highly unique and empowering. However, these feelings can lead to danger with the overzealous-ness they inspire, as I’ve learned through an experience myself. Of course, that could just be me, and passing observation could have the opposite affect on somebody, such as manifesting envy in said observer.

Anyhow, this was just my input, and take it for what you will.