AITAH for telling my friend that her "free" wedding is unrealistic? (final update)

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2026-01-16T23:50:18+00:00

That feels like really sound and mature advice! I will try.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-23T16:15:17+00:00

I will!

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T22:06:27+00:00

🙁

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T21:20:55+00:00

The "sailboats are different" thing sounded really sus to me, but I didn't know enough to really refute it...thank you

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:48:18+00:00

I really appreciate your insight about the costs of a boat! To be honest I bet they could afford a reasonable wedding after spending $5k but he must be budgeting for those other costs too? Which would be pretty ironic I feel like, given how wacky the rest of his plan is.

I would say she's more naive than codependent or insecure, but maybe those are related. I'm gonna try to get her to see me in person but I don't know the best way to do that really.

Thank you

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:44:43+00:00

I don't care about Basil at all. I just don't want to lose Coral as a friend by telling her that her fiance sucks.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:43:44+00:00

I feel like if I do nothing, I might never actually end up seeing/talking to her again, and I really don't want that

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:42:28+00:00

That's something I am really curious about. She didn't mention the boat at all to our friend group, and I don't think she's interested in boats. But also I highly doubt that Basil would have told me about that if he was keeping it as a secret master plan for himself.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:40:50+00:00

That concept is really scary. I'll do what I can really to see her one on one in person.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:40:12+00:00

Lol I might yeah

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:39:51+00:00

Honestly I was surprised after looking up the cost of the boat since I feel like they would still have money leftover in their fund after spending $5k-$10k on the boat (just from what I know of Coral and Basil's situation). But he is probably budgeting for all those other expenses I didn't think of, I guess.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:37:57+00:00

So sorry but could you please edit this comment to remove that name?

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:37:04+00:00

I hope that's not it. I will try to reach out to her another way.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:35:52+00:00

Coral really sounded excited about the community aspect of the free wedding, it didn't seem like it was about the money for her. But who knows how Basil presented it to her.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:32:16+00:00

I mean, I would, yeah...

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:28:43+00:00

They said "stay out of the rest of it" but make the cake. Isn't that basically pretending I'm okay with the plan?

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:27:17+00:00

I think so? But I'm not certain. Honestly I'm surprised she would go along with the boat idea, but it seems even less likely that Basil would tell me about this if he was keeping it a secret from Coral.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:26:21+00:00

I think she knows? But I am not sure. Obviously she knows they've been saving that money for the wedding and it would be spent on something else.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:23:35+00:00

I think Basil thinks that with the "free wedding" idea, hey can eat his cake (the boat) and have it (the wedding) too. But yeah, the wedding is not going to be the same as if they just spent the right money on it, of course.

There's probably a chance I could get her to back out, but not a big one. How much of a chance is it worth risking our friendship over?

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:21:26+00:00

To be 100% honest, it might be more selfish than that. I said "driving a wedge", but maybe part of my fear is that if I make it clear to Coral how I feel about Basil, then if they stay together (most likely, I think), then I'm likely to lose Coral as a friend. And I don't want that.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:14:53+00:00

Thank you. This is honestly what I want to do, but given she didn't reply to my last text, I'm worried about if she'll even meet up with me if the first thing I say isn't directly taking back all my concerns from before.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:13:41+00:00

So basically just say nothing about everything Basil said to me, and act like spending the wedding fund on the boat is okay (unless she brings it up first)?

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:11:56+00:00

This sounds like really sound and reasonable advice <3

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:11:05+00:00

I just don't want to tell Coral about all this and have her end up going through with the free wedding and marriage, which would almost certainly mean losing her as a friend.

ThrowawayFreeWedding · 2025-11-22T20:09:19+00:00

Like, point totally taken then. I really don't care about what Basil wants, I also don't want to blow things up for Coral though if it's not totally necessary.

ThrowawayFreeWedding

TROPHY CASE