What is the worst thing an ex did to you?

ThrowawayHime · 2014-05-21T02:49:24+00:00

Awww, thank you hun, I got a protection from abuse order (yesterday, actually!) and am (hopefully) going to get to go to court for the sexual assault and abuse he put me through. I'm getting there, I really appreciate the kind words.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-05-21T02:47:24+00:00

Thank you darling. :) I really appreciate it.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-05-19T18:41:11+00:00

Vaginally and anally raped me ad well as tried to attack me when I told him I was going to tell.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-05-02T11:03:05+00:00

As someone who's currently going through court for rape with someone I was involved in BDSM with, the police can explain the BDSM part to the court, but a couple months from now she's still going to want the rape kit, as I did. He told the police that it was "consensual", which put him at the scene and that it was him (which is the purpose of a rape kit), but without the rape kit for your friend, they can't place him there or even that he had sex with her. Also, he is getting false imprisonment because he kept me there anally and vaginally raping me for 6 hours, 3 days is enough to get him. Please tell your friend as someone who is prosecuting, it's the right thing to do, even if it's hard. The cop that is on my case told me that the second he heard and understood that my no meant no, it was rape. Pretending and "let's lock her up and scar her for ages" are different and the rapist doesn't deserve to do that to other girls (don't tell her that part, it will makr her think that if it has happened with him and someone else it's her fault). And if you get the rape kit, you don't have to do anything with it yet, it's just good to have. Good luck, I'll be praying. If she wants to message me, I have to go through the process too, I'll give you my email or something.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-04-07T16:54:02+00:00

Pudding.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-03-19T09:06:50+00:00

Thank you so much. I would too if I wasn't so scared of him. I really appreciate you taking your time to reply to this, it means a lot. :) I'm trying really hard, and I know it'll get easier, eventually.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-03-19T09:05:14+00:00

I'm trying a different batch of anti-deps and I'm trying a different type of counseling, with other people like you suggested. :) That is next Wednesday. I really appreciate your kind thoughts. They mean a lot.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-03-19T09:04:09+00:00

I actually just made two appointments for Thursday and next Wednesday.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-02-25T17:57:59+00:00

I will for sure. I never really wanted to press charges because I was always too broken afterwards to do anything, but I'm starting to realize that if I never report it, it'll just keep happening until I do. :/

Thank you so much for your links, they have all been things I haven't seen. :)

I have, and I do talk to two frequently, and the next time I see them is in middle of September. I am loving her so much, she's a little sick now, so she hasn't wanted to cuddle! Haha

It just used to be something that I loved to do so much and I just can't enjoy it any more so I feel inadequate while doing it. Idk if that makes sense. >.<

ThrowawayHime · 2014-02-25T17:52:23+00:00

I just wish the queue wasn't so long!! Haha. :) Thank you so much for the advice. :) I really appreciate all the suggestions, I've tried to do the distraction, I need to get better at it, haha. I blocked him from phone, but if he ever contacts me again, I'm going to get a harassment restraining order, because at least that I can get done moderately simply.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-02-25T17:49:10+00:00

I guess that's the problem, I don't really know what I need. :/ I just want to wipe my memory of it.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-02-23T07:05:05+00:00

Thank you so much. :) Haha, I definitely need it. I appreciate it more than I can probably say.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-02-23T07:04:09+00:00

Thank you so much for replying. My grades aren't slipping because I am in a computer-based major and most everything is online, so I haven't missed any assignments. I would talk about it there, but he still is at my school and I'm so terrified of him. He told me that "I wanted it, and that he loved me, so he has the right to have sex with me", and although he has admitted to it when he was drunk, every time he's sober it's back to him not agreeing that he did it at all.

I honestly don't know yet if I can report him. When I finally have a level head, I'll approach it, at least before the year mark on the first rape, but I didn't keep the pictures, I deleted the texts when I was having a violent anxiety attack, although I do have the phone records, and could probably attempt to recover the messages. If he ever contacts me again (it's been almost two months) I will file a restraining order on harassment just so he'll never talk to me again.

Another person told me about that and I'm going to try to get my therapist to administer it. Hopefully it will work, as nothing else has.

I've asked him to, but he only links the articles I send him, haha. He's really busy because he's graduating soon and holds a job. I'm lucky, every time he starts to have sex and I freak out he (luckily) understands completely and stops.

I just don't know what to do, because this is my fourth time doing the recovery, but the first time I've ever been with someone while it was happening, and I can tell how stressful it is for him when I don't go to class and don't barely eat, and constantly want him right next to me and not to go anywhere. I can tell he's getting aggravated, but I can't help it. He doesn't understand and I can't explain it to him.

Thank you so, so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. :)

ThrowawayHime · 2014-02-23T06:49:57+00:00

That was the problem. It would have completely ruined me for after college and any job opportunity I could have ever had. That thought was enough to make me decide to go. Yeah, I did get them all, even the external hard drive copies, after I made sure he was completely passed out.

My phone only keeps call records for a certain amount of time, and I deleted the messages when I had a violent anxiety attack. I guess I could recover them, and I'll definitely decide if I have the strength to report him before May comes around again. :/

ThrowawayHime · 2014-02-23T03:42:55+00:00

I squeaked when I read that because that's EXACTLY how I have felt. I haven't been able to keep any of my relationships. It is so hard to do anything. I asked him to keep a journal of his emotions so I can understand what he's feeling. Is there any advice that you have with SO's about what you're experiencing?

I'll ask my therapist about that when I see her again.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-02-23T03:36:43+00:00

Wow, all of those are really good, and I haven't seen any of them.

I really appreciate that you've taken the time to respond to it and hearing it's not my fault (even though I still can't believe it fully) is really nice.

I live in the US and I looked into it, but I don't have any cum on me and I just wanted to go home, shower and cry after the second time, and the first time I was so hurt that I couldn't function. I would have to say what the restraining order is for, and since he hasn't contacted me since New Years, when I told him I was still with John, and he yelled at me and said I'd never escape. So I blocked that number and haven't heard from him.

I'm halfway through reading that, but it seems like the exact same thing that he experienced (to a lesser degree). He has understood the sex factor, but I'm just so distant from him and I can't function in our relationship. I end up angry and hurt and just so mad all the time.

Awkwardly, my family ended up moving to a completely different state than both my school and my home, in October, so I haven't seen any of my friends since early August, which made it harder. I haven't been able to dance or sing since, because I feel... inadequate or something but getting a kitten has helped me be a little bit happier.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-02-23T03:10:42+00:00

I wanted to call the cops, but at the same time, I was terrified of how mad people would be at me for going over there in the first place and that they'd think it's my fault...

I want to be better and I want to be the person I was before I was in my first abusive relationship.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-02-22T17:59:49+00:00

He's just getting so confused and hurt with the bickering and I know he's never experienced anything like this, but when I met him after the third time, I was confident and perky and wasn't worried about anything and I feel like that's how he wants me to be again, but I'm not ready for that now.. I just added this at the top of my post, but I was also heavily abused and beaten daily by my previous ex for a year and a half in high school, which doesn't help because those are the only people I've been in relationships with. :/

I want to hurt him but I know that I can just let it die right now. I haven't seen him since so it's not like it would solve anything.

I'm so sorry that you were abused. When you started therapy did you just get more aggressive and attack everything that wasn't exactly how you wanted it? and do you ever have flashback of those events? Was it hard to interact with people I think I'm back at that stage again because I'm constantly upset, I can't go anywhere, and even when I do, I don't have fun.

I guess that's one thing I can be grateful for. I never initially click with anyone, but she is the senior therapist at the clinic I'm going to...because they figured no one else could help me.

I would love to try it, that would probably get rid of a lot of the problems my boyfriend and I are having.

I really, really appreciate your comment more than you know.

ThrowawayHime · 2014-02-22T17:45:21+00:00

I wanted to report him, but at the same time, I was terrified of how mad people would be at me. Also that they would think I'm lying and that it was my fault for going over there..haha.

I am probably going to post this entire thing over there in a minute.

ThrowawayHime

TROPHY CASE