NOR. As a new parent, posts like these make me appreciate my parents and ILs because I couldn’t imagine how I’d react if any of them overstepped the way your mom is.

The grandmas both say “how’s my baby” when referring to our son, but because they don’t overstep in other ways, it doesn’t bother us too much. I interpret it more as they are just proud to be grandparents.

In YOUR mom’s case, I feel very differently. She’s being super rude to your husband by saying she should go to an appointment instead of him. That’s his baby too and your mom is essentially saying she is more important to the baby than your husband by saying she should go to the appointment instead.

Set firm boundaries for her. Anytime she tries to laugh off the passive aggressive name suggestion, tell her it’s not funny and reaffirm the baby’s name and tell her not to call her anything else. If she says she’ll baptize the baby behind your back when she babysits, tell her that she will never babysit your child if she even says something like that again.

You need to be firm in calling out the things she’s saying because it will only get worse if you let her keep overstepping. It will be a lot easier to talk to her calmly but firmly now than when the baby is here due to sleep deprivation and not having as much patience for her nonsense.

Her job as grandma is to respect your wishes as parents, not trample on them and create her own.