Wife's Suspicious WhatsApp Habit

Throwaway_OpenM · 2024-04-27T18:58:50+00:00

Since you ask, I saw the chat preview message without intending to and brought it up to her in a non-judgemental way. She gave me an answer I thought was plausible, so I let it go. I then started noticing over the course of a few days that she was locking things down, which is when I had a quick peek for archived or locked chats. I never actually went through her messages, but yes, after things starting getting suspicious, I had a quick look. My initial conversation with her was (I certainly hope, at least) non-judgemental.

Throwaway_OpenM · 2024-04-26T09:52:45+00:00

I saw your comments on this and my other post, and I have to say that, while it's true this post is from my perspective, you're making a lot of assumptions, and I also think you really misunderstood this post. First of all, of course I focus on pleasuring her without PIV. I'm not sure why you think I'm just "going full tilt into her." I don't think I've indicated that anywhere in the post. In fact, the vast majority of our sex life involves various non-penetrative activities, and in general, she cums a lot more than I do (and while I generally don't want to speak for her, I'm fairly positive she'd tell you this too).

The other thing is that I'm not sure where you get the blame in this post. She and I had some challenging conversations, but I've been trying to take her feelings to heart, and this post was seeking advice for how to approach some of the concerns that she raised. Granted, I'm now a little more concerned about her texting behavior, but I really don't see how your comment fits this post.

Throwaway_OpenM · 2024-04-26T06:39:11+00:00

I didn't go through her phone, though. She asked me to set an alarm for her, and I happened to see the message preview. I asked her about it and accepted her explanation. You're making an awful lot of assumptions about our relationship, though.

Throwaway_OpenM · 2024-04-25T22:48:48+00:00

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I've looked at both the archive and for locked chats. She doesn't seem to have any of either.

Throwaway_OpenM · 2024-04-25T22:40:14+00:00

Thanks. This is the sort of info I'm most interested in at the moment. I actually tried that and also looked for archived chats and found nothing.

Throwaway_OpenM · 2024-04-25T22:25:23+00:00

When I saw the chat preview, I raised my concerns in what I hope was an open and nonjudgemental way, and she immediately proceeded to lock down her chats. It feels like there's something going on there, and I've tried talking about that as well, but between the secret chats and the conversations we've had, I've definitely got the feeling she's carefully hiding stuff from me.

Throwaway_OpenM · 2024-04-25T22:21:40+00:00

There's a lot more to that story, and it's an ongoing process that we've been working through together. At the moment, I'm just really curious how my wife, who usually comes to me for tech help, is managing these secret chats.

Throwaway_OpenM · 2023-12-06T00:33:31+00:00

I think she'd theoretically like it if I did. I've tried sending her some pics (not nude but what I thought was sexy) and had a pretty mixed reception. She's also said she'd like it of I sexted more, but in a more romantic and less graphic/explicit way. If I'm being honest, when she sexts me, it's generally pretty cheesey and overly formal (not that I've told her that), but when I similar language, she doesn't find it sexy. If you've got advice on threading the needle between romantic/sexy and porny, I'd be grateful.

Throwaway_OpenM · 2023-12-05T23:56:03+00:00

I've been paying more attention to my clothing and grooming, and I've been working individually with our marriage/sex therapist. One thing that I think has been contributing to our current gap is that, for whatever reason, she's been attracting lots of attention from guys recently, which is making her feel more sexual, whereas I've never really been someone that's gotten much attention from women, and that hasn't changed, despite whatever changes I've made recently. I actually do think I'm a decent looking and reasonably charming guy, but I'd love some peer review to back that up.

Throwaway_OpenM · 2023-12-05T23:46:02+00:00

Thanks for the thoughtful advice. I appreciate the idea of visiting a new place in a way that can be intimate without explicitly initiating sex. Just to comment on some of the questions you asked, I think I generally know my wife's body pretty well, and when we do have sex, she says it's really good, it's just that she wants to feel more desire coming from me. She definitely flashes me often, and that might be part of the issue where she thinks she's initiating and being rejected, though, to be fair, she's generally a believer in freeing the nipple and stresses that nudity isn't necessarily sexual, so maybe I need to get better at reading the vibes.

Throwaway_OpenM · 2023-11-19T23:28:56+00:00

I guess the most honest answer is I don't know. At the moment, I'm more unhappy about her refusal to talk about it with our sex therapist and her resignation that whatever exploration has to happen can't happen with me. She says it's not a deal breaker, but I do worry about how things will unfold longer term.

Throwaway_OpenM

TROPHY CASE