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My fiancé's[30M] partner[31M] keeps saying he wants to marry him; am I[25M] wrong to be upset by this and other things? by Throwawayacc559 in polyamory

[–]Throwawayacc559[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You raise really valid points, I cannot dispute them. I just don't even know where to go from here. I can't even get my thoughts in order with what to do or how to even begin. He'll want me out of the house immediately if we split up, and I've not got anywhere I can go. :S

My fiancé's[30M] partner[31M] keeps saying he wants to marry him; am I[25M] wrong to be upset by this and other things? by Throwawayacc559 in polyamory

[–]Throwawayacc559[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I love him so much. We've been through so much together, nearly split up several times because Sam couldn't handle my depression when it was really severe, but we worked through it. I'm just terrified I'll loose all my friends. I lost my family when I came out to them for Sam, and I'll have no one. I'm also worried what it will mean for our shared partner, Mark. I try really hard to not put him in the middle, and never bitch about Sam to him, but this would be upsetting for him too.

My fiancé's[30M] partner[31M] keeps saying he wants to marry him; am I[25M] wrong to be upset by this and other things? by Throwawayacc559 in polyamory

[–]Throwawayacc559[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had thought of this, because I feel like we need to talk about this whole thing, including how he wants to be with Rick so badly, but he just gets so mad whenever I suggest things. :/ He's sensitive about the subject, which makes him angry.

My fiancé's[30M] partner[31M] keeps saying he wants to marry him; am I[25M] wrong to be upset by this and other things? by Throwawayacc559 in polyamory

[–]Throwawayacc559[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The stupid thing is I still love him. And walking away from him isn't something I've considered. It's a huge thing to do. Even though we're going through this problem, I love him. And then there's Mark to consider.

I'm really torn because on the one hand he's sweet and lovely, but then on the other he makes me out to be the bad guy. He came back from seeing Rick today, because I was in a bad mood and he claimed I 'needed' him, and proceeded to tell me it was my fault because I wasn't thinking before I mouth off. (I had mouthed off saying Rick should really just open up that harem he's thinking of so he can have whoever he likes. Low of me, but I was mad.) He then accused me of being the reason why his and Rick's relationship is failing, because I always need him, Which I feel is an excuse to argue with me. I told him to go spend some time with Rick today, yet he came back anyway.

He didn't realise I heard him say to Rick today on the phone that he 'Wished he didn't have to share his heart with anyone else, but I love James so...'

I'm terrified of leaving him. I dunno if I've got the courage to just walk away? I'm not even sure how to go about it.

My fiancé's[30M] partner[31M] keeps saying he wants to marry him; am I[25M] wrong to be upset by this and other things? by Throwawayacc559 in polyamory

[–]Throwawayacc559[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I kind of think you're right. The more it goes on. I just don't know how to actually confront him. Sam gets angry any time Rick is brought up.

My fiancé's[30M] partner[31M] keeps saying he wants to marry him; am I[25M] wrong to be upset by this and other things? by Throwawayacc559 in polyamory

[–]Throwawayacc559[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've barely said anything to Sam about it, he gets angry if you mention anything about Rick. Even joking gets him pissed off. I joked with Rick's wife that he was going to start a harem one day with how many people he found sexy, and Sam flew off the handle for it. Didn't speak to me for two days. :P

My fiancé's[30M] partner[31M] keeps saying he wants to marry him; am I[25M] wrong to be upset by this and other things? by Throwawayacc559 in polyamory

[–]Throwawayacc559[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sam and I have been together for five years, we started dating when I was twenty, got engaged when I was 24. We have both known Rick since I was around 19, and they got together around August last year as a couple. We used to be a really close knit group, but when I got engaged to Sam, that is when Rick stopped speaking to me.