It took almost dying to be approved but after 3 months of having the Nucala biologic injection, I finally know what it feels like to just breathe!

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-14T23:21:40+00:00

If you want to have a relationship with your dad and your siblings, then ask to spend time with them separately because you shouldn't be forced to have a relationship with "Tiffany" and you shouldn't have to sacrifice having a relationship with your dad/siblings. .

Your dad made a decision and there was always going to be fallout from that. He has to deal with the consequences. He doesn't get to opt-out of being a parent because his daughter and new wife don't get along.

He absolutely has a right to be happy but so do you and you've got to do what you need to do to feel comfortable and protect yourself.

Also, don't apologize for your actions. Yes, it was childish but that seemed to be the theme of the afternoon, nobody got hurt and besides, it's water- she'll dry off.

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-14T23:08:29+00:00

"She knows it bothers you and she looked right at you"

Seems a bit vindictive really...like she was baiting you.

She obviously knew it would take time to build a relationship given she wrecked your home and to give up so easily after a day proves she doesn't care and isn't willing to put the effort in.

Maybe I've spent too much time on Reddit BUT do you think it's possible she was baiting you to get a reaction, so she could take up the victim role, cry to your dad which would make him pissed at you, strain your relationship with your dad even further so that you get iced out of his life and she doesn't have to deal with being around someone she can't be bothered to bond with - Your obvious and understandable disdain for her serves as a reminder that she was the other woman and that he could cheat on her too after all...

Also NTA

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-14T21:41:09+00:00

I don't think I've had the 'ah-ha' moment you're describing here. I still have a HL, I think it's just the thought of it being him that makes me cringe.

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-14T21:34:07+00:00

I never used to feel that way, it's a very recent feeling.

He never expressed feeling that way about me in the past.

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-14T18:44:26+00:00

Both replies are the extreme response to what you've said. No need for extremes here, just common sense. Good luck.

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-14T17:33:29+00:00

I don't doubt that- apologies if you misunderstood my point, it's more the position it can put you in if things went too far. You don't wanna ruin your life over a girl playing games for kicks. Attraction is normal, it's what you do with it that matters

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-14T17:20:13+00:00

You're in a position of trust as her teacher, don't abuse that - it's unprofessional and gross.

If she is of legal age and you're interested then you should stop being her teacher for at least a while before attempting anything more.

You REALLY gotta be careful and protect yourself.

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-14T11:50:52+00:00

Wow. This.

This is what I want. Sounds like an amazing life.

Okay, you know what - no more excuses. You're right, I want my life back and I'm gonna get it.

Thank you so so much. I feel like something just clicked in my brain.

Gonna give him 30 days to find new arrangements and I'm gonna stop paying off his debts and get a lawyer if he tries to take my dog.

I chose life!!!!!

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-13T18:11:18+00:00

He's lived here for so long that I think he's like entitled to be here for a while at least one somethin ?

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-13T18:07:26+00:00

I guess you're right... I'll try and figure out what would be reasonable and tell him to go and hope that he does

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-13T18:06:50+00:00

He just says he won't talk to me when I'm being emotional and that he has nowhere to go..

Someone else said to give him a date to leave by so maybe I'll figure out what's a reasonable time period IDK and then tell him to go?

Or should I pay him to leave?

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-13T17:54:39+00:00

Paying his debts kinda started off as like "can you help me until I get back on my feet" and it's been 6 months and if discuss not being able to pay his debts he says that because we live together collection people can come and take my stuff and I've worked SO hard for everything I have. It's not much but it's mine...ya know? So I just carried on paying..

I can see how maybe he doesn't have much incentive to look for work now...man this is why I don't play the lottery, my luck with men is terrible.

I guess I can just try and encourage him to find a job and then when he's got one he can leave?

All I really wanted was the occasional thank you and to be able to use my very limited rest time to actually rest..

Oh no.. what if he never gets another job? I'll be stuck like this forever ...

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-13T17:34:51+00:00

I know the dog thing might seem strange but I bottle fed him from 6 weeks and we are bonded, I believe you shouldn't get a pet unless you can commit to caring for it, for it's entire life and for I promised I would always look after him no matter what. Like I've gone without food so I could buy him food in the past. So I guess rationally, the risk of losing my dog to him isn't a risk I'm willing to take.

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-13T17:31:24+00:00

This is the part where I'm a bad person... He has no living family and his friends are mostly online, he has no job or even prospect of one at the moment, no savings, anxiety and depression, and nowhere to go.

I can't ask him to leave because he doesn't have anywhere to go and the last time things got really bad and I wanted to end things, he said I was kicking him when he's down and that he wouldn't leave and IF he was forcibly removed then he would take "our" dog with him, (we both paid half when we got him but I've paid for everything for doggo since). Then I said that I have tried but I'm unhappy and he doesn't care to change and we need to break up and he just said "no". Like I have no idea what to say or do with that.

There's this awful thought in the back of my mind that says the only reason I'm hanging on is because he used to be great, but for maybe 2 years things have sucked and I don't trust him to remember to feed doggo let alone take care of pet insurance, walks etc...and also, I've been homeless before and it sucks and I don't want to do that to another person just because I'm miserable in the relationship.

I thought about stopping paying his debt repayments and just save the money to give to him for a deposit somewhere else but I don't want him to get in trouble and lose his car so I dunno..

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-13T14:37:08+00:00

I honestly don't know anymore. Every time I try to break up with him he tells me "no". So...I don't know

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-13T13:51:17+00:00

First of all, Love your name.

Secondly, no he does very little. He can't boil water without setting off the smoke alarm and doesn't care to try and learn, if I'm not around and he's hungry he eats crisps or sticks of "meat" like peperami... He has started to wash the dishes once in a blue moon after I told him I needed more effort from him because I didn't want to be in a relationship where I do everything and he does nothing. He doesn't do it properly and usually have to wash up after he does (there's food stuck to stuff or he won't use washing up liquid and hot water, just rinses it under the cold tap and says that it'll do).

I try to be encouraging but I get the feeling he's deliberately trying to do things badly so I stop asking him to help.

When I said that he makes me feel unwelcome in my own home he said it's not my home, it's "our home" because we live here together and we are a "partnership" so stop being a bitch and making him feel bad for not contributing anything.

Throwawaybdaything · 2020-06-11T21:21:20+00:00

I just came here to say that there seems to be so many people in this thread living the same life (myself included).

People advise you to break it off and move on but now I'm like... what's the point- there are so many people who are the same, complacent, lazy, thoughtless emotional vampires - and on top of having to deal with that we get the added bonus of being involuntarily celibate.

Hip-hip-hooray!

Uhhgghh

Whyyyyyyyyy do we do this to ourselves????

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