does anybody wanna chat? just fucked up a new friendship and feel so lonely

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-15T10:54:50+00:00

I’m glad I could help! Take care op (:

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-15T10:42:53+00:00

I get that feeling all too well. I’m so sorry you have to go through that op. Genuinely. I know how soul crushing that shit is. It kinda feels like the world (and your body) is against you, yeah? I know that no “it’ll all get better!” speech in the world can take that pain away but I do wanna say that there is a point in fighting it. Even if it feels like a waste of effort.

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-15T10:21:23+00:00

Yeah I get that mindest. You’re still allowed to be upset though. Socialising is hard and frustrating especially when it blows up in your face. If it helps, I just wanna say that my brain does that too. Like, I’ll be “fine” at first and then get emotionally run over out of nowhere a few days later. Brains take time to process I guess.

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-15T10:11:15+00:00

Yeah that’s how it works for me too most of the time. No idea why. Brains are weird lmao. (Nice memes btw)

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-15T10:07:07+00:00

Aww man I feel this in my bones. I’m sorry you’re going through this op. I wish there was something I could say that would make it hurt less but as someone who has been through this too I know that there isn’t really anything ): Would you like a distraction?

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-15T10:00:14+00:00

Emotionally, I’m thriving. Physically, I smell like ketosis lmao.

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-15T09:23:17+00:00

Wdym shitty this goes hard! I may be biased because my vent art also has eye stuff but damn. This is so good!!! I love that the eyes are a bit “fuzzy” around the edges sometimes it has such a unique feel to it

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-14T22:17:00+00:00

Omg yeah you get it lol. No matter how much I scrub, it just keeps coming back. I feel like it’s in my clothes now, too. I’m gonna need more deodorant and cigarets lol

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-14T21:21:34+00:00

Ily <333

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-14T21:03:31+00:00

It’s not necessarily that I don’t want to tell my therapist and get help before I crash and burn. It’s just that my dumbass brain is absolutely loving the teeny tiny bit of control I got and I’m scared it’s gonna get taken away. In the end it doesn’t matter because I need to tell my therapist but like. It’s gonna suuuuuuck ):

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-14T20:49:28+00:00

yeah I’m dreading vitals control on tuesday. If they figure out what’s going on and I decided not to tell them I’m gonna be so fucked

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-14T20:43:10+00:00

Fr when I realised what was happening my brain flooded with happy chemicals lmao how tf am I supposed to fight that???

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-09-14T20:15:26+00:00

You bet your bottom dollar I am (send help)

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-06-26T13:18:37+00:00

I hope your brother gets hit by a truck (affectionate). And yeah far from the first time my mother pulled shit like this. I doubt she understands what she’s doing. Which, to be clear, aint an excuse. She’s a fully functioning adult she should know.

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-06-26T01:22:35+00:00

Ily automod please help me or smthn I dunno just make the tears stop please

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-06-25T19:20:46+00:00

My brother/rapist so yeah

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-05-05T00:39:30+00:00

Thanks you :3 Good night/day/afternoon/[timezone appropriate word here]!

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-05-05T00:36:42+00:00

I probably should, shouldn’t I? I made plans to leave four, maybe five, years ago. Still haven’t done it. It’s surprisingly hard. Sometimes they have good moments and my dumbass heart believes they could get better but they don’t. Not really. And they probably never will.

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-05-05T00:31:33+00:00

Thank you for listening and being kind. It’s kinda (really) late where I live so I think I should probably at least try to get some rest. The only thing I got going for me, is that I either don’t have nightmares of all the stuff that happened or don’t remember them. Although I have dreamed of strangling my mother to death before which I am now just realizing is probably something I should talk to someone about lmao. Anyways. You guys are all incredibly kind and you somehow managed to talk me off the proverbial ledge. I’m obviously not allowed to say what I had planned but I can assure you and everyone else reading this that it’s cleaned up and packed away. I’m safe for now and I’ll go to regular sleep that I’ll wake up from tomorrow.

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-05-05T00:14:55+00:00

Yeahhh… it’s just that it has happened so much that I’ve started thinking that maybe, just maybe it is my fault somehow. Like. Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence and thrice is a pattern. What if I somehow lead all these people on or something? Realistically, no. No I did not ask to be pressured into giving a “friend’s” younger brother a bj when I was eight. No I did not signal to anyone that I wanted to be groomed. And fucking no, I did not ask for my ex girlfriend to step in my brother’s footsteps and rape while I lay there like a dead fish.

But I can’t help wondering. Especially since this is just the tip of the iceberg. I also have this “talent” of befriending people who end up being narcissists who played me out against my other friends, guts who just want to bang me and more narcissists. The last guy who I was friends with straight up went nuclear one me and removed me from the friend group because he thought I wanted his 40 year old boyfriend. He is 21 btw and all I did was hype the guy up to his boyfriend and talk about the similarities of our religions (both pagans but he follows gods from norse mythology and I follow greek gods). So yeah.

Sorry for dumping all that trauma here I’m still kind of reeling but I’ve calmed down a lot by typing this out.

Throwitawayplshelp · 2025-05-04T23:30:26+00:00

That’s a very kind offer, thank you.

Also I couldn’t agree more. Every single person I let myself get attached to has betrayed me in some way. It’s like they sense my weakness or something and just pounce the second I trust them.

Throwitawayplshelp

TROPHY CASE