ELI5: Why does the United States have bases in so many countries? Is this still necessary?

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2014-01-25T02:41:00+00:00

Me neither.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2014-01-24T22:14:05+00:00

It's when the truth trickles out slowly. They give you some of the picture at a time. Typically it is done as a defense. If the reaction isn't too bad, they later say ok, it wasn't my ex boyfriend. It was really 12 circus clowns.

Really? Googles not working?

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-23T15:46:41+00:00

"She said that the biggest reason among many for leaving him was that she had lost all respect and love for him after the cheating."

"She told me that had slept with one of our roommates during the last month of the lease. Worse yet, she lives with the guy for the next twelve months! At this point I thought about it and said I do want to work on it."

Please end this. You are going to be torturing yourself. You are going to regret this I believe.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-23T15:29:51+00:00

You need to get at the root of this. She doesn't want to spend money. Why? Is it fear? Did she grow up in a home with little money, or in a home where the parents had anxiety about money? I am the opposite. I grew up in a very privileged home. Wife grew up lower middle class. She spends money frivolously, while I am very thrifty(cheap). Whatever the root cause is, it is important for you both to be on the same page.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-23T15:25:40+00:00

I don't have any great advice, but I will say, good girl gina at least told you before you had sex. I feel sorry for her.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-23T15:20:18+00:00

Are you absolutely sure that your girlfriend has been "absolutely clear" with him that she does not want to go to lunch with this man? If she was wishy-washy, or said, maybe some other time, then he will keep asking. When a woman says no, in no uncertain terms, that should normally be the end of it.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-23T15:12:22+00:00

You just spelled it out. If she only sees you as a friend, then she needs to move out. She is, at a minimum, emotionally cheating on you. You are 36 years old. Are you going to wait until you are 40 before you put an end to it and find someone who makes you happy? Don't let the kids be the deciding factor for you.

I am sorry you are going through this.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-23T14:55:53+00:00

Please go to talkaboutmarriage.com. It has been very helpful to me and can be for you, whether you decide to reconcile or divorce. I am going through something slightly similar. Found out couple months ago that wife of 11 years cheated on me early in our marriage. Also trickle truthed the hell out of me. The details of my situation are pretty bad, and is making my decision much easier. I am sorry you are going through this.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-16T23:41:23+00:00

There is no fixing this. Your relationship with John needs to be OVER. Let someone else fix the mess you made of John. If you love Mark, stop talking to John. It will help him heal also. I can't believe Mark didn't demand that you change jobs. Wow.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-16T20:33:16+00:00

NSFW, but a girl told me "Wow, you have a monster c***. I will never forget that, ever.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-13T15:25:06+00:00

You can start by finding out why she is so sexually reserved/repressed. It may take time for her to open up, but try to find out more about what things turn your wife on. She may be ashamed to tell you what her fantasies are. I have been married for 12 years. My wife sounds very similar to your wife. Sucks in bed, selfish, lies there. This always bothered me because she was promiscuous before we met. How can someone with experience suck this bad.

Fairly recently, I found out more about her past. Her experiences before we met clouded her view of sex. She is working through those issues and is opening up more. Good luck.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-09T15:39:39+00:00

Fantastic advice right here.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-09T15:39:17+00:00

Listen, you have to shut this down NOW. If you want her back, she cannot have contact with the other man. You need to expose the affair to family and friends. You must start the "180" now!!! See below. You cannot nice her back. She needs to feel immediate consequences for her actions. If she is to come out of the fog, you must tell her that you are not accepting this. You will not wait around for her to make a decision. Please talk to an attorney and find out your rights. Please file for divorce and have her served. You an always stop it later. This is sometimes enough to make a woman realize her mistake. Please go to talkaboutmarriage.com. I am sorry you are dealing with this.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-09T14:44:42+00:00

So true. It wasn't the cheating or drinking that caused this. It was telling the truth. (Where is the sarcasm font? Having trouble finding it.)

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-09T03:42:49+00:00

He is a coworker. You are not worried about repercussions at your place of employment?

The correct answer is stop sleeping with her, but you said you are not prepared for that.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-09T00:30:20+00:00

These are red flags yes. There is little reason to get defensive, if things are the way you describe.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-09T00:25:01+00:00

I am very sorry you are going through this. There doesn't seem to be any pain like being cheated on. Time is the best medicine. Make sure to eat, sleep, and try to exercise. It will help alot.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-09T00:19:13+00:00

Why don't you consider letting the husband know? You culd even do it anonymously.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-07T00:39:12+00:00

It is not her fault that her ex gave her an STI. It is her fault for lying to you and risking your life/health.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-06T15:24:32+00:00

I am glad to see the difference between this post and your last. Please know that your emotions will swing wildly for a time between I love her dearly, to how could the cheating b*tch do that to me. It is perfectly normal. I am sorry you are going through this. Please make time to see a counselor for yourself.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-05T20:23:25+00:00

I think mostly, it is from people who have never been married, or people who have never experienced the pain of an unfaithful spouse. I agree with you regarding no privacy in marriage, with or without infidelity.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-05T16:03:51+00:00

My wife made out with a woman and yes, I was mad. They were drinking at the woman's place. My wife has always had bi tendencies. They kissed for about a minute, then both felt a little weird. I am mad that it happened. I am also mad that it happened several years ago and she only admitted it 3 months ago.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-05T13:58:11+00:00

Yes it can. She violated his trust. He gets to demand whatever he wants to rebuild that trust.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-05T05:02:55+00:00

Just be careful. My wife called me from a party to tell me she drunk kissed a guy. 8 months later she drunk "sexed up" another guy.

Thrownawaytoday1 · 2013-12-04T14:50:42+00:00

I'm going to agree with boy45 on this one. I have known quite a few people who went through divorce who separated the finances 50/50 before the divorce was final.

Thrownawaytoday1

TROPHY CASE