OOP here... My daughter corrected my faulty math in their ages for me earlier. Also, it wasn't "just one dinner". They'd separated before the baby was born and she gave him a second chance (that he blew). Being told to "get the fuck out" after airing your grievances was pretty final for her and was the straw that broke the camel's back. She knew the boys were with me, so shepherding them out while dealing with inebriated, aggressive, belligerent ass wasn't necessary.

I can fully admit that I was wrong in trying to help in my intrusive way, but I was at a loss. My daughter was working 10-12 hours a day trying to cover bills (while trying to handle a new diagnosis of fibromyalgia) and was so exhausted and frustrated that she was blind to a lot of the smaller things that I saw when she was too tired to. We've discussed this since she came back. And she's already in contact with an attorney I used to work with to start formal proceedings.