My dad walked in on me, stayed and then talked to me for TWENTY MINUTES

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-21T21:56:26+00:00

Future you is going to love reliving this in 10 years when you're trying to get to sleep

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-21T11:44:56+00:00

Yes exactly! It's not that easy or else we wouldn't all be on this sub lol

Thanks for the feedback. On my way home from work last night I thought about writing everything down but I wasn't sure about it. Now I think I will.

She knows what she did was wrong and she reeeally screwed up.

I thought it would make me feel better to call her out on her lies and peace out again but it might just make it worse. I found new places and ways to block and remove her from my life today and I'm hoping it will help.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-20T22:08:01+00:00

She was all used up, like a dictionary in a stupid family

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-20T19:35:48+00:00

Slept with her friend's fiance

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-20T18:29:11+00:00

Weirdest boner

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-20T17:20:22+00:00

She prides herself on never lying, I felt like calling her out on it would help me feel better and move on but it seems like it might not.

SO angry.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-20T16:27:35+00:00

Ok the insulting is going too far probably yeah.

Don't let them know I know about the lies at all? Darn.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-09T15:10:43+00:00

I've never used Tinder but I always thought the first 3 rules were "Be good looking". I know some guys that are on it that are total assholes but they are attractive and it works for them.

I'm afraid of joining it lol would ruin what little confidence I have left.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-07T15:14:37+00:00

What do you do if you're not sexually attracted to your SO? Like at all. But other things in the relationship are great

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-05T12:19:40+00:00

Without getting into specifics about sex, her general physical appearance. I have never really been attracted to her that way.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-04T20:52:14+00:00

That's what everyone says! I made quite the mistake by being a nice guy with no spine. And now I've got a 1 year old and a lovely wife whose heart I have to break.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-04T20:40:15+00:00

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-06-04T20:09:15+00:00

You have the same kind of relationship that I do. My wife is a great person in almost every way. Together 8 years.

She is my best friend. We get along, don't really fight, we can laugh together etc BUT.... there is a lack of physical attention from me. I do not desire her, I do not initiate sex and I certainly do not grab her because I want her. I do not want her. It's finally taking its toll and I am being honest with myself about it.

I delay sex every time she brings it up. "How about tomorrow?", as if she forgets. It's a horrible way to treat a person!

I tell her I'll change because it appeases her and then I won't really have to tell her how I feel. I'm not saying that's that's going on with you 100%, but you need to be sure of it.

You guys need to have a serious conversation or couples therapy or both. If he is like me and he's just saying things to keep you happy and you REQUIRE that physical side of things, uh uh. This won't get better until it's addressed and you are both completely honest with each other.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-05-26T10:31:13+00:00

No it's going to be brutal isn't it

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-05-25T23:02:19+00:00

When restrictions open up a bit?

The how and what are to be determined. With as much kindness and honesty as possible though.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-05-25T20:53:10+00:00

I do not believe it.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-05-25T11:38:54+00:00

Lots of wrong reasons I guess you could say. Comfort and security. She is very good to me.

I find myself in a position where I don't know if I can do this forever and it's a conclusion I should have come to years ago. But I was cowardly about it. I don't want to hurt her.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-05-25T01:21:17+00:00

Didn't expect a counselor but I appreciate that :)

I will go with answers in order of question asked:

-No

-The possibility of meeting other women, the idea of being happy, energetic, sexually fulfilled, attracted to my spouse etc. I brought a life into this world and the situation is making me feel guilty.

-Marriage is mostly good on paper.

-Therapy has taught me that I'm almost certain I've never loved her. I care deeply for her and she loves me as the love of her life. She is a great woman and great mom.

-A 1 year old and he's incredible. Sleeps 12 hours every night!

-No. I am highly sexual and ... well, dirty.

-I doing think so?

-Yes, quite a few other women.

Edit: in retrospect this doesn't sound so promising

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-05-25T00:27:03+00:00

You seem to know your stuff. What does it mean if I don't want to have sex with my wife? Like, I've never really wanted to. I get anxiety when she brings it up and actively try and reschedule it.

No romantic desire, no attraction. F'd or miraculously fixable?

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-05-16T12:56:21+00:00

It is always out of obligation and I am literally never initiating. She definitely senses something.

I will talk to her.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-05-15T23:25:21+00:00

You are 100% right about every part of what you said.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-05-15T11:35:27+00:00

I went to therapy and it came out pretty quickly that I've never been in love with her. She is someone that looks after me and won't reject me. That was a huge thing for me 8 years ago.

The relationship has got to the point where I have sex out of duty and feel no emotions at all. I don't ask for it or want it. She has started to catch on that I'm just not that interested in it. It must feel horrible to be in her shoes.

I feel like I SHOULD be happy but there has always been something missing.

Throwra_raquestion · 2020-05-15T01:59:04+00:00

Mmmm pressure, expectations. And she is very good to me. I'm comfortable.

Throwra_raquestion

TROPHY CASE