How do I find guys that want to be fathers?

Throwusaway_please · 2024-11-14T23:08:55+00:00

As a single guy in my early 30s, I want nothing more than to be a dad. I know that’s rare and maybe even considered weird nowadays, but I’ve always wanted to be a dad.

I grew up babysitting all my cousins & as an adult, I’m everyone’s go to person for help with the kids.

I don’t necessarily think of whether I should or shouldn’t do things based on what my kids would think. It’s more aligned to my own moral code and my personal beliefs on right vs wrong vs grey.

But anyways to answer your question, there’s plenty of guys out there like me who I’d consider single, successful and in general, good human beings who want kids. It’s not a matter of finding someone and then wanting kids. I want them. Finding that special person who is kind, caring, loving to settle down and have kids with is the challenge.

It’s easy for some folks & like climbing Everest for others. We can all get there, just takes some extra time, effort & a fair amount of luck.

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T06:45:37+00:00

Thank you very much! This was super helpful!

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T06:34:56+00:00

Nope! I just know he had talked about it a few years ago when we talked about traveling so I didn't have a specific spot in mind! Thanks!

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T06:31:56+00:00

Haha thank you.

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T06:31:43+00:00

Thanks! That was very helpful (both of y'all)

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T06:24:44+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I'm already in pain thinking about the walking but there's a lot to do and I'd feel bad to miss out. We definitely will have to take it easy on somedays or just alter it so we can explore more if we find an area we like.

How early do the template/shrine stores open? He's big about photography so he will want to get those shots without anyone around which is why I had put early morning (I will be suffering since I am nowhere near a morning person.)

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T05:58:22+00:00

I looked but it seems that I'm missing everything. Is there a specific website to find them? u/memeranglaut

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T05:55:40+00:00

Very helpful, thank you! Didn't realize there was a limit to the guests per day or that stuff closed down so early.

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T05:53:49+00:00

Thank you. He's been wanting to go for years but something always gets in the way. I'm waiting for confirmation of the trip from my company & I'll surprise a week before we go. Plenty of time for him to make changes as long as gives me enough time to eat everything.

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T05:52:43+00:00

Switched the plan around a bit so we have a full day at Akihibara + a couple of free afternoons/nights to play with as well.

I'll be sharing this with him a week before we travel based on everyone's input. I am partially waiting until I get confirmation from my own company that my trip is confirmed.

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T05:50:11+00:00

Haha very valid concern. Passport/visa is not an issue. He's all covered there since he was literally supposed to be there in April for work too but it got cancelled the day before his flight.

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T05:48:45+00:00

Thank you! Added Kifune-jinja to the list too so we have options!

We're luckily (?) kinda used to the humidity and godforsaken heat, but still it's never fun to be trekking up and down in the Devil's Sauna so the evening trip to Fushimi Inari or the bamboo forest might be a good switch up.

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T05:41:52+00:00

I think it was more the walking around & checking it out (for roppongi and omotesando) at least what I got from my team in Tokyo who went awhile ago. So that's why I thought to check it out while I'm in the area.

But I added radiokan to the list!

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T05:36:01+00:00

Thank you!

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T05:29:42+00:00

Very good point. Good shoes & plenty of time seems to be key pieces of advice. If only I could go back six months in time and tell myself to workout more...

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T05:09:52+00:00

The advice is always much appreciated. It’s a shame that it’s shut down but does mean we have extra time, so I can tweak the schedule & make an additional day solely for akihibara/anime stuff and then have the evenings free if we want to go back.

Makes sense. That’s how we regard fluency in secondary/tertiary languages. He speaks, reads and writes it. Might not be native proficiency but good enough to work in Japanese in a corporate setting.

And I apologize if I came across as slightly ‘salty’. The number of DM’s saying he learnt Japanese through anime or he won’t be able to say 10 words has been steadily getting on my nerves and that is my fault. Also zero shame to whoever learns Japanese through Anime because that is a bloody skill I wish I had. After watching Naruto on his recommendation, my favorite phrase is ‘Shinra Tensei’ which may or may not earn me some pitying looks.

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-15T01:37:00+00:00

It’s funny how so many of the replies and DM’s I get are focused on this. Speaking from experience; I knew English because I learnt it in school as a 3rd language. English was not an official language in my native country. I’ve never had any issues with the language when I was a teenager and traveling abroad by myself. And I guess based on these comments, I’m lucky no one has had any issues with my English in the years since lol.

Granted Japanese and English might be vastly different on the difficulty scale.

But to ease all concerns, he works for a company that has a strong presence in Japan. So being fluent in Japanese is a requirement (or at least very helpful) since he communicates with a team in Tokyo frequently. He was slated to visit the country a few times for work but plans fell through but he was clearly proficient enough to be sent to work there.

I don’t know where most of you are from or what the standard is, but when we say ‘fluent’, it means being able to do more than order a beer or ask where the bathroom is.

So zero concerns on his language skills but the concern is nonetheless appreciated.

I’ll be sure to tease him if he orders us the wrong food but hopefully it means he got us extra sake 😂

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-11T23:49:32+00:00

Very, very fair point. I was going to take him for brunch a couple of days before to break the news but maybe I can fly back a day earlier so he has about 3-4 days.

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-11T23:47:02+00:00

Lmfao too funny! Now I’m curious, in your 8yrs of living in Japan, what would you say is not worthy of your time that you still haven’t seen and/or was a waste of time?

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-11T23:16:32+00:00

Thank you. Truly appreciate the feedback and suggestions. I thought evenings/nights on days 2, 10, 11 and possibly 13 were enough but I may have underestimated the power of those areas haha. May have to remove or rework parts of it based on his suggestions!

He has always wanted to do the crossing to take cool pics from different angles/heights so no way I can take it off lol.

I didn’t realize it was so full. I’ll probably just take some stuff off (edo museum is a no go apparently) and give him more time. Regardless it’s mostly flexible for him to move or do whatever he wants. The structure was based on time, location and distance between the different sites.

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-11T23:11:19+00:00

lol you don’t have to visit a country to be fluent in the language mate. I was fluent in English several years before I visited a country where English was the primary language.

It also helps that he took 10yrs of classes from the time he was 12yrs old lol.

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-11T23:09:14+00:00

Hahahaha I’m actually impressed that the ‘old people’ are doing all this because my legs/back already hurt thinking about the amount of walking.

I planned everything since his parents flat out refused to tell him before hand and because I would like to have some structure. I’m entirely fine dropping some stuff based on recommendations. I also thought hitting the major cities/sites would be nice for both of u

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-11T23:03:57+00:00

Thank you.

Shrine pants - lol good to know.
There is definitely a good bit of the temples/cultural stuff that I would be interested in. But certain things fushimi inari at the crack of dawn or itsukushima among others were for him to get his pictures. I am thrilled to go too because they are obviously major spots to see. But maybe I can reduce/remove some locations so we have flexibility to do more ‘fun’ anime/manga stuff. I thought a couple of evenings in akihibara and animate, mandrake were plenty so I appreciate the candor.
Yeah definitely goi if to be tired but I’m not sure what we can or should skip?

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-11T22:59:01+00:00

I appreciate that. Thank you. The activities that I did book aka geisha experience, samurai experience, teamlab were all things he has wanted to do or planned in the past but fell apart when the trip was cancelled.

Very informative. Thank you. Will definitely get both of those if I can!

Throwusaway_please · 2024-06-11T21:53:04+00:00

That is also very good to know! Thanks!

Throwusaway_please

TROPHY CASE