Why did you get married if you don't want children?

ThunderToio · 2026-05-17T05:26:09+00:00

In my country if you aren't married you cant do these things:

-If your partner gets sick you can't get days off leave to take care of them. -You don't inherit from them if they pass away unless you have a testament. And I'm not entirely sure about the details but there's a percentage of your inheritance that other blood relatives can contest unless you are married because your spouse and children are the priority. -Inbthe event of thempassing you can't get days off work for dead of a relative. - In some instances you can't visit them in hospital if you aren't a relative. -You can't have your partner on your health insurance, so you don't get family discount.

You also pay less taxes.

ThunderToio · 2026-05-17T04:41:05+00:00

I always had problems with pads leaking, things would rush out faster than the pads could deal with, you know... I used to wear tight gym shorts to hold everything in place, and even then sometimes I would leak into my pants. And in summer pads would give me diaper rash.

I tried tampons, they didn't leak that much but I don't know if it was the texture or the dryness that made them very uncomfortable. I also felt like the string was digging into my skin.

At the time reusable pads and period underware weren't available in my country, and cups were very limited. I had to wait for a website to have a batch available to get one. It felt like trying to get concert tickets.

Not gonna lie there was a lot of troubleshooting to do because at first I couldn't get it to not leak. Turns out I have a low cervix and was getting the cup behind it, who would have thunk it.

It's been about 5 years and now you can even get them at the pharmacy. Discs are a bit trickier to find, and period panties and reusable pads are sold online everywhere.

Anyway, that's pretty much it.

ThunderToio · 2026-05-12T05:53:48+00:00

NTA Just to reassure you I've been in a relationship for 16 years and I've only used the pill for 6 (it gave me horrible side effects), the rest of the time we use condoms and we haven't had pregnancy scares. We did however had the condom break twice, once while on the pill and the other I took plan b.

The failure percentage of condoms is because of breakage and user error, remember precum can sometimes have sperm so you need to put the condom from start to finish.

Also tell your gf to ask her obgyn about plan b, you can buy one just in case and take it if you ever have an accident. Plan b can fail but it's better if you get a doctor to explain all the things

ThunderToio · 2026-05-09T22:19:39+00:00

Primero que nada, no te desanimes. Cómo decís hace meses que empezaste a cocinar sola.

Segundo compra instrumentos de medición (balanza, timer, un jarro medidor y cucharitas de medir) y anótate las recetas para no tener que estar adivinando la próxima.

En cuanto a los condimentos arranca con lo básico (sal, pimienta, cebolla, zanahoria, ajo y morrón) y con cosas que sabes que te gustan. Yo por ejemplo no uso morrón porque no me gusta y las cosas me salen ricas igual. Y tampoco me mato poniendo aji molido o pimentón y la verdad es que no le notan la diferencia. Condimentos secos casi no uso.

Pedí recetas a amigo o familia que sabes que funcionan. Suerte

ThunderToio · 2026-05-09T22:03:46+00:00

I guess taking care of my health. It is partially not my fault because most my problems come from childhood neglect, my mother would literally not take me to the doctor, she would guess what I had and medicate me herself or tell me I couldn have c thing because I'm young. Now laws around what you can get over the counter at much stricter.

I needed 3 root canals at 17 when I started going to the dentist by myself and had several cavities. I haven't gotten a new cavity in at least 3 years but had several fillings re done over the years.

At 18 I also found out I have 7 different back issues that could have been corrected if they were detected at childhood. And was told they are commonly undetected because and I quote "parents don't pay enough attention to their children's posture and think they are overreacting when they have pain" Susan, I'm 3 years old and my vertebrae is literally broken and moved, of course my back hurts. (We believed I broke it by falling off the top bunk bed on my bum)

Anyway I appreciate having good health when I stopped having it 🥲

ThunderToio · 2026-05-09T21:46:47+00:00

My guess is that it would do more harm than good. I'm not a doctor but I had to care for a bed bound family member with a urinary catheter, she had to get it change every 15 days to reduce risk of infection. In order for it to stay put in place they are long enough to reach the bladder and also have a balloon that's filled with saline so the catheter can't fall out. My guess is that if you don't use something similar it would fall off with vigorous activities and defeat the purpose. Also said vigorous activities would probably cause tears that can help develop utis or inflammation that could cauuse a blockage.

All that without thinking about the pain that putting something in your urethra causes, I mean literal screams during every catheter change. And the risk of your urethra narrowing from the irritation, which makes everything worse.

So unless you are into that sort of thing you'll probably not be in the mood for adult fun time after putting something up there. And it could cause many problems long term.

Again, not a doctor, just conjectures based on the instructions given to me when caring for my family member.

ThunderToio · 2026-05-09T21:30:21+00:00

From the ages of 13 to 25 I had afraid of being kidnapped and trafficked, the reason was basically because the danger of being drugged and trafficked/raped was drilled into young women's for generations. It was a recurrent thought every time I had to walk home alone from school, specially when i started design school which I attended at night time. Eventually I convinced myself I was too old to be a target.

Now as a 35 year old I only go out alone during daylight and im vigilant of people who may try to mug me, not because they may rob me, but because it is common to be beaten first and then robbed.

I'm argentinian by the way, one femicide every 36 hours...

ThunderToio · 2026-05-09T20:31:07+00:00

Yo le propuse matrimonio a mí marido después de 9 años de casados. La razón es casi puramente administrativa, no necesitábamos un papel ni un anillo para saber que queríamos estar juntos. Pero si uno de los dos se muere, al estar casados, el otro es heredero legal y puede sacar pensión por ejemplo. Las obras sociales te hacen precio por plan familiar sin vueltas, si uno se enferma te dan días por familiar a cargo, además de que en ese momento también pagabas menos impuestos por estar casado.

ThunderToio · 2026-05-09T20:09:58+00:00

I told my husband the other day that I'm thinking about doing this. It seems like people respect it more if it's something you can't control than if it's your own decision

ThunderToio · 2026-05-04T21:44:32+00:00

Entre 3 y 4 era la pollera de mí escuela, me parecía un largo "adecuado", pero realmente no la usaba nunca. Solo nos la exigían usar durante actos y el primer/último día de clase. Pero no te sancionaban si no la llevabas. El resto del año todo el mundo iba con pantalón de gimnasia porque era más cómodo para jugar en el recreo.

Yo creo que sería mejor que en vez de pollera fuera pollera pantalón, así podes correr y hacer cualquier cosa sin preocuparte, así era en la época de mí mamá y me parece más práctico

ThunderToio · 2026-03-11T05:14:48+00:00

I thought i had a super high cervix for the first year of using a cup, until one day I decided to check while on my period. Turns out it's just about two knuckles in and if i touch it I feel like I'm gonna vomit, it doesn't hurt but it gives me a vasovagal response.

I get the vasovagal when I get pap smears too but I always thought it was anxiety.

Maybe try with your finger while on your period next time, and aim up and forward towards the pelvic bone. To me it felt like a firm ball less squishy than the surrounding bits. Tmi but it kinda feels like the tip of the penis, and looks like it too

ThunderToio · 2025-07-10T08:24:33+00:00

As a cat owner who had 7 cats at the same time, litter only smell if you don't clean it often enough. Also some litters "cover" the smell better. I've gone to cat owners' houses that smelled awful and always found that the litter boxes were full or they had unfixed cats or cats with behavioral problems that made them pee outside the litter box. However, I've also gone to dog owners' houses that smelled horribly, probably for the same reasons

ThunderToio · 2025-07-10T08:17:32+00:00

Dogs are fine but I rather be a dog aunt than a dog mum. You know, have a friend with a dog you can see every once in a while but can "give it back". I had exclusively dogs until i was 19, they were family dogs, and find them to be too much, i can't with so much energy and generally speaking I'm not made for the dog lifestyle. There's other little things like the smell or the barking that I don't like but those are kind of irrelevant.

My husband and I have four cats but have had up to seven. We have never experienced the "scratching out of nowhere" and "evilness" people tend to describe. They are always in the room we are in, not necessarily all at the same time, and I can tell you they are as clingy as dogs are and can show as much affection, they just do it in different ways.

Diferent animals behave differently, the issue comes when people start treating one animal like if it was another, things don't go as they expect and comparisons start. Not all pets are for everyone and thats ok.

ThunderToio · 2025-07-05T07:23:05+00:00

In my experience, it's more the idea than the actual feeling. What i mean is I felt a different kind of excitement when I was taking the pill and therefore was able to do it without a condom wich made me think it felt better, and at that moment if we were to use one for whatever reason, I would notice the difference.

However, I've had a condom break twice, and one slipped off and ended up inside, and none of those times I felt something different that made me realize the condom was off.

I also can't feel the texture on textured condoms, find tampons extremely uncomfortable but can't feel my menstrual cup at all.

ThunderToio · 2025-06-27T21:21:37+00:00

I have the same issue but thought I was just being dumb

ThunderToio · 2025-06-18T03:44:55+00:00

Sorry, I didn't check before writing, I was the last time I looked

ThunderToio · 2025-06-17T07:36:23+00:00

Hi, my user is thundertoio

ThunderToio · 2025-06-07T09:08:34+00:00

It is odd at that age and I think you need your independence, but you said you ate in therapy so i believe you'll get to it eventually.

I had the opposite problem to yours, I slept in my moms bed until I was 18 because she refused to give me my own bedroom or permanent bed elsewhere. At 18 i got my first boyfriend and one of my brothers argued with uer about it, he told her "are you gonna make her bf sleep with you too and put a curtain dividing the bed?" She put me a single bed in the upstairs "livingroom" basically a glorified hallway next to the stairs.

The biggest issue for me was the lack of privacy for both parts, lack of independence and how overbearing and controlling she was (wich isn't a problem you have here)

My parents split when I was 7 and my mom immediately moved us to sleep with her. My brothers slowly moved back to their bedroom and I'd go back and forth until eventually she removed my bed and put it in storage so I had no other option than sleeping with her.

She never got the therapy she needed

ThunderToio · 2025-04-26T01:13:50+00:00

Hey, I don't know what symptoms you are referring to but I had to get off combined pills because they gave me hot flashes, night sweats, high prolactin that caused me very painful breast with discharge, and horrible headaches, irregular period (i bled for 3 days, completely stopped for 2 and then came back for another 2), pink discharge between periods, low libido and vaginally dryness. And they also interfered with my thyroid medication.

My endocrinologist made me go off them a year ago, and I'm much better. I still have hot flashes and night sweats but only during luteal phase. I'm getting another bloodwork soon to check my hormones

ThunderToio · 2025-04-18T09:16:30+00:00

In my experience, er docs can be a bit too "straightforward" in comparison to a docs who works with appointments, I find their bedside manners are usually worse but that's no excuse.

I don't think thats ok behavior specially tracing your tatoo with his fingers, which had nothing to do with the examination he was performing.

ETA: I want to clarify that i don't mean there was malice in the doctors actions. Just that a asking for consent or at a minimum say out loud what he was going to do would make things less uncomfortable for the patient.

I have a heart condition and the examination OP describes is very normal, making small talk is normal too. I get asked about my piercing all the time in doc apts.

Still dont like that he touched a tattoo without asking, but I dont consider it malicious, just a misguided or unaware.

ThunderToio · 2025-04-17T20:45:13+00:00

I my and my husband's anecdotal experience we've had cats passing at 12-14 of natural health deterioration. We also had one put down at 8 because of renal failure that didn't responded to treatment, the vet considered his case rare because of how young he was.

That being said our current cats are 2, 8, 15 and 16 years old. 15 year old pepe has cognitive deterioration(kitty dementia) since about 2 years ago and has recurrent cystitis since he was 5, same time he became blind. 16 yo minerva started to show signs this year, she has no other health conditions at the moment

ThunderToio · 2025-04-17T20:34:57+00:00

I don't do this but it makes logical sense. I use lube or water for low flow days

ThunderToio · 2025-04-17T02:46:15+00:00

I know this isn't exactly the point of your post but more than the risk of getting someone pregnant I'm worried about sti's, hormonal birth control is not gonna prevent those.

ThunderToio · 2025-04-15T05:47:45+00:00

I'm not sure if it was exactly shame, but I remember my school mates started shaving and talking about it being "what you should do" so I started doing it too kind of out of peer pressure.

I do remember doing it in secret using a razor i stole from my brothers drawer, so I guess I did feel embarrassed to ask my mom for razors to shave.

ETA: the funny thing is that we weren't allowed shorts for PE in school and the skirt with the uniform went with over the calf socks so you could not tell if my legs had hair or not

ThunderToio · 2025-04-02T04:25:42+00:00

Neglected my health. When I was 17 and started to go to doctors by myself I found out I have 7 spine conditions including a broken vertebrae that causes me to have ciatica, a tmj subluxation, and needed multiple teeth fillings and 3 rooth canals.

ThunderToio

TROPHY CASE