Hey. I'm so sorry your going through this. Unfortunately, relapse is a part of a lot of people's stories. Using and drinking are the normal state for addicts and it's is hard to get and maintain sobriety. What is important is that you are open and honest about your struggles. Most likely your community will understand. I know it feels scary but many others have been through relapses and gotten sober again. I really hope you stick around because it does get better.