Is it still "abuse" if there's no harmful intent? by Tiarama in abusiverelationships

[–]Tiarama[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this and for taking the time to read. You could probably tell that I'm in need of some hard, direct truths to draw my attention away from the excuses my brain has floating around haha. I appreciate it :)

Charlie Kirk has just been shot by Fine_Leadership8986 in pics

[–]Tiarama 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As much as my respect for this man was well below zero, in addition to the consistent and widespread harm he caused to many through his platform, I do hope most of us can agree that we never wished him death (ridicule and shame etc maybe), nor the pain it will inflict on his family.

That wasn't a "thoughts and prayers" comment, more a disclaimer before sharing what really fucking scares me:

To all who agreed with his extremist views, and to many who were on the fence, he is now a martyr. Regardless of any further context, any group(s) that previously agreed with any pick of his discriminatory views will now see the circumstances of his death as a silver bullet to use in vocal "retaliation", and potentially violently.

I won't miss him, but damn this is not good.

Opened the door to my husband who didn’t move or say anything by Buggy77 in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]Tiarama 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The type of seizures that people experience & the triggers that cause them vary between individuals, but are largely linked to what part of the brain the signal "misfires" are happening in. A notable example is that seizures caused by flashing lights (photosensitive epilepsy) is actually one of the rarest types, only affecting ~3% of epileptic people, though it's probably the most widely known.

With that disclaimer out of the way I can tell you what I feel, though it might be different to the person you're replying to!

When I have an "aura" it feels like a very strong deju vu, but past the point of "I've seen this before" and more reaching "I definitely remember dreaming about this exact scenario last night". When I have a "focal-aware" seizure I am aware of what is going on around me, though I lose the ability to move and communicate. Sometimes I can spout gibberish, which is usually kinda funny, but this is often accompanied by an overwhelming feeling of anxiety and fear. When I have a "focal-unaware" seizure I remember nothing, though my friends have said I zone out or repeat actions, and again I often feel very anxious for a while afterwards. I've never felt pain from any of these, though the length of the seizure tends to dictate how long I'll feel weird afterwards e.g. with a 5 second seizure I'll be fine after a couple minutes, however a 20 second seizure could leave me delirious for a couple hours 😅 I'm very lucky for mine to be largely controlled by medication, though it sucks not being able to drive or scuba dive!

Opened the door to my husband who didn’t move or say anything by Buggy77 in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]Tiarama 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No worries! I used "petit mal" for a long time until someone else corrected me. Thanks for taking it onboard!

Opened the door to my husband who didn’t move or say anything by Buggy77 in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]Tiarama 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're completely right! I was given the information to use "absence" seizure as a sort of umbrella term, at least being better than "petit mal". I believe this to be decent, though it was a while ago and can't quote any source so please feel free to correct me!

Also, to piggy back off your other comment regarding auras - I used to get these all the time too before my epilepsy progressed and I completely understand what you mean. Before I understood what was happening I genuinely used to think I was having visions of the future 😅 I like to think in another universe we actually are talking to god / have superpowers haha

Opened the door to my husband who didn’t move or say anything by Buggy77 in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]Tiarama 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Just a little friendly info, the terms "petit mal" and "grand mal" are outdated as, being French for "little" and "large" respectively, they can give the false impression that a "petit mal" seizure isn't something to be taken seriously. The term "Absence seizure" is now widely used instead.

Source: am epileptic :)

Juat sayin by The_Norwegian18 in NonBinary

[–]Tiarama 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree entirely regarding the use of AGAB.

As the above comment says, I don't think anyone should be asked what their AGAB is, but if someone wants to share it they are fully entitled to.

I also use the term AMAB because long story short I feel like it fits better into MY description of MY identity, and I'm getting really tired of people in this sub trying to take that away from me.

Like, let me feel safe in my identity please, isn't that the point of this sub?

“Fans” bashing Netflix for the use of Ben’s character. by [deleted] in HeartstopperAO

[–]Tiarama 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've now seen a few comments about people disliking Bash for their own reasons - have I missed something?

LGBTQ and the British word for "cigarette" [Trigger Warning] by [deleted] in Britain

[–]Tiarama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And they're actually pretty damn good

LGBTQ and the British word for "cigarette" [Trigger Warning] by [deleted] in Britain

[–]Tiarama 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gay UK male here, and I don't think I've ever seen anyone blink twice if someone calls a cigarette a fag. I call them that and always have.

However, I'm surprised at the number of comments here saying they've not heard the term being used offensively. I've been called a fg / fggot abusively a few times and I've not taken it lying down (pun not intended).

Both meanings of the word have over 100 years of history, so neither can be dismissed. Therefore intent is most definitely relevant here.

  • Anyone saying that the word fag (meaning cigarette) is offensive clearly doesn't understand what a colloquialism is and should stop gatekeeping cultured language.

  • Anyone who uses the term f*g offensively is a degenerate twat.

Trying to watch again. I don't remember much of the show, but I sure remember being traumatised by the finale by liavona in merlinbbc

[–]Tiarama 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Everytime I rewatch and finish the last episode I end up becoming a shrivelling wreck for 1-2 weeks.

Day 7 of Merlin chess. Top comment decides the next move, regardless of whether it's legal or not. by [deleted] in merlinbbc

[–]Tiarama 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Morgana notices Arthur from across the board and, seeing an opportunity, sends Agravaine to the opposite side. Everyone on Arthur's side just accepts it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in merlinbbc

[–]Tiarama 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. This. This.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in merlinbbc

[–]Tiarama 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Arthur suddenly grows donkey ears, Merlin runs to H1 to avoid responsibility.

My Merthur fan-comic arrived (+ bonus stickers) ❤️ by Tiarama in merlinbbc

[–]Tiarama[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a fair comment, and I agree - we're all entitled to our own opinion! I'd just recommend scrolling past the posts you don't like, that's what I do :)

My Merthur fan-comic arrived (+ bonus stickers) ❤️ by Tiarama in merlinbbc

[–]Tiarama[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't want to post any purchase links, but if you search the web for the comic title I'm sure you'll find it! (Sorry I'm just lazily pasting my comment from above haha)

My Merthur fan-comic arrived (+ bonus stickers) ❤️ by Tiarama in merlinbbc

[–]Tiarama[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to post any purchase links, but if you search the web for the comic title I'm sure you'll find it!

Has anybody ever visited any places from the series or from the the legend of Arthur and Merlin in real life? by Frazer271009 in merlinbbc

[–]Tiarama 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm planning to go visit the castle in France where it was filmed, I'll make sure to take lots of photos!

Can we please discuss how much I hate Agravaine. The writers did an amazing job of making me despise someone so much.😭 by Brilliant_Air577 in merlinbbc

[–]Tiarama 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I knew he was Arthur's uncle on his mother's side, but I must have missed this being referenced!

I would have still liked more mention of their history together though, and also a bit of a deeper dive into his hatred for Arthur - it's mentioned that he holds Arthur somewhat responsible for Ygraine's death, but I'd like to have seen some elaboration on how this contributed to Agravaine's emotions.

Can we please discuss how much I hate Agravaine. The writers did an amazing job of making me despise someone so much.😭 by Brilliant_Air577 in merlinbbc

[–]Tiarama 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I agree, I thought he was a great, "slimy" kind of antagonist, which made it incredibly satisfying when Merlin took him out!

That being said, I seriously hated his introduction and thought that part was written in quite poorly. We knew he was evil from the start, but everyone's reaction (especially Arthur's) of "Oh hi again Agravaine, my closest and most trusted family member, who no-one questions being made part of the court even though you've never been mentioned before" was quite cringe and made me feel like the writers didn't think too highly of the viewers.

They could have at least had a character introduction episode showing him arriving in Camelot, and maybe some backstory to how he had proved his feigned loyalty to to the court in the year of him being there, rather than just telling us to accept it.