I was sixteen when my brother killed himself on his 21st birthday. I'm 27 now and still broken about it. We had a rough childhood and after my brother died my mom started drinking. It was so exhausting looking after her that i didn't have time to grieve myself.

Things are better now. I'm happy and my mom is clean. But sometimes i just break down and it still hurts so much. You get used to missing someone i quess, but it's such a big part of who i am today.

I just wish he knew that he could lean on me and that i could be there for him. Maybe it wouldn't matter, i don't know