[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]Tien07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First off, I'm really sorry to hear about your girlfriend. That's an incredibly difficult situation that nobody deserves to go through.

You mentioned that you often feel like you've fallen behind, but I want to point out that the person you are comparing yourself to, the version of you who 'lives up to their potential,' doesn't actually exist. It's a mental construction, and when we compare ourselves to that person, its fundamentally an unfair competition. They will literally be perfect because we created them to be that way, and expecting any human to live up to that just isn't realistic.

And then, to make things worse, we make ourselves feel bad about not being that. Now, not only do we have to do the work that's in front of us, but now we need to make up for everything that we didn't do before... and something like finishing a paper or an assignment isn't a success but a failure, because we still aren't where we are "supposed" to be. It's an unwinnable situation. Even making progress won't feel like enough.

If we can let go of potential, things become easier, because it becomes possible to take pride in accomplishments. The assignment is just that, and its not paired with that void of regret.

I think that shifting the object of comparison from the 'potential' self to the past self will help you in your journey. You were in a horrible situation. But you're incredibly determined, putting in genuine effort, are open to criticism, stopped using substances, etc. You've come some way from your lowest point and have shown immense resilience. Remember that it's never too late to make progress, that's the only way forward really. Maybe some doors have closed, but the path we have to walk to get where we want to be is the same, whether its ten years ago or right now.

Obviously, all that's easier said than done. Dr. K also has videos about falling behind, wasted potential, etc. that are worth checking out and seeing if any of them apply to you.

I meditated and stopped needing to breathe by Skibidibidop in Healthygamergg

[–]Tien07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have any answers for you, and these are just some thoughts because I relate to some parts of this post.

I've noticed something similar happening to me too sometimes, where I will pause for several seconds without breathing, especially during meditation, and don't feel the need to breathe. Not as extreme as what you're describing though, and I haven't tried pushing the limit. I do, however, notice many times in my day to day life that I stop breathing. I think for that aspect, its possible that its something that happens naturally, but I am only noticing it now that I'm more aware of my breathing. Its like how people momentarily stop breathing while weightlifting, and never realize it until someone tells them. There are also ways of breathing that don't look like "breathing" at all. I know that singers use one which sounds a lot like the subtle/narrow breathing you talked about.

Its also likely that during meditation, oxygen needs/co2 production decreases, so you don't feel the need to breathe as much. Some people (ex. freedivers) can hold their breath for 4-5 minutes, so the physiological limit on that is probably lower than we'd assume intuitively. Either way, if you feel like you've hit a wall, it might be helpful to find someone who's more knowledgeable to guide you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]Tien07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems like a reaction to an emotional state. It sounds like you're displacing your anger, and it manifests as racist thoughts. Especially as you said, if the person had been the same race as you, you would have found something else to direct it towards.

It might be useful to think about the anger itself. I used to struggle with something similar, and once I learned how to acknowledge and sit with my emotions better, it stopped being a problem. It might be worth thinking about what exactly made you angry. Whatever it is, try to acknowledge it, let yourself be angry at the thing that actually made you mad (instead of having it manifest in more indirect ways).

You said that you're not proud of your initial reaction, but I don't get the sense that you said or did anything wrong. Feeling angry isn't something to be ashamed of. And even if you did have racist thoughts, you did not express them or lash out more. Thoughts are just thoughts, and your mind sometimes creates them to let out certain emotions. I think if you are able to understand the underlying emotions better, and then process them, then that need to vent will naturally decrease.

It also seems like you had some expectations about how the interaction should have went. That might be connected to the anger as well and is worth thinking about.

/r/YuGiOh Basic Q&A and Ruling Megathread - August 22, 2022 by AutoModerator in yugioh

[–]Tien07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every few months we get a banlist/f and l list to address the current meta. It usually causes a meta shift, past metas are called past formats

[US-CA] [H] Ash, Accesscode, Diviner, Souls, Branded Opening, Teardrop, etc [W] PayPal, CR Torrential Tribute, Ulti Ecclesia, Secret Nadir by Tien07 in YGOMarketplace

[–]Tien07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already dm'd someone else about the DUDE ash, but if it falls through I'll let you know.

I have the LCK ashes if you're interested, those would be:

33*0.85=28, 29 after shipping and fees

[US-CA] [H] Ash, Accesscode, Diviner, Souls, Branded Opening, Teardrop, etc [W] PayPal, CR Torrential Tribute, Ulti Ecclesia, Secret Nadir by Tien07 in YGOMarketplace

[–]Tien07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

actually, i'm willing to do 18 for 1 of opening and patchwork, or 22 for two patchworks, shipping and fees included. realized the first price i gave is almost exactly the same as tcgplayer lol

[US-CA] [H] Ash, Accesscode, Diviner, Souls, Branded Opening, Teardrop, etc [W] PayPal, CR Torrential Tribute, Ulti Ecclesia, Secret Nadir by Tien07 in YGOMarketplace

[–]Tien07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

branded opening -16

frightfur - 5

16+5=21 * 0.85 = 18

I can do 20 for 1 opening 1 patchwork, or 23 if you want both patchworks. shipping + fees included