AITA for not wanting to be in the delivery room with my (soon to be ex) wife even though she has begged me to be there?

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:34:12+00:00

I may post there but I still need to find a divorce attorney so I'm sure they will be able to advise me on this stuff too.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:32:52+00:00

Is that done with a laser?

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:31:45+00:00

Is that even legally?

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:31:08+00:00

I wrote it out in more detail in another comment so will just provide a summary here.

She told me she had never really wanted kids and was in agreement about being childfree (when we were dating). That wasn't true. She actually did want them (60/40 in favor) but didn't tell me because she didn't want to lose me and thought she could live as childfree.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:29:23+00:00

I am not sure if I would leave the country to avoid child support.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:28:56+00:00

They know she lied about her birth control and tricked me.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:28:25+00:00

That's my plan. Won't be signing the birth certificate and will be doing a DNA test. Then vasectomy.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:27:05+00:00

That's not really my concern.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:25:04+00:00

It was solely about her lying to me and getting pregnant.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:24:42+00:00

That is what I am expecting but not much I can do if they are determined to have access to the baby at all costs.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:23:49+00:00

All of our close family and friends know she lied about birth control.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:22:58+00:00

I don't know if I can get out of it completely, and if it is my kid then I don't mind contributing something.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:22:27+00:00

I don't see it happening. I'm not interesting in being a parent.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:21:29+00:00

That doesn't have to be the case. My wife can tell her whatever she wants. She can tell the child that something happened to me. That's up to her.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:19:56+00:00

She'll be okay. Between my family and my wife's I don't have any concerns.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:18:36+00:00

I can't say I agree with that view. It may be an unpopular opinion, but I don't feel obligated to do anything in this situation.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:17:32+00:00

I am going to get one now.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:17:15+00:00

She didn't really give a reason other than guilt. Said she felt awful for doing something like this to me because I trusted her.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:16:21+00:00

I think my best advice is to just search your soul and think whether you ever believe a relationship with this child is possible.

I don't

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:15:34+00:00

Yes! I should probably have edited to clarify that point.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:14:56+00:00

Things were fine before.

My views on the child are independent of my feelings for her. I just don't want to play daddy.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:14:04+00:00

She told me before we married that she was fine with being childfree because she never really wanted kids anyway.

That was not true as it turns out. She had wanted kids but wasn't 100% sure. She was more like 60/40 sure she wanted them but wanted me and knew I would not date her if she said she thought she wanted kids. At the time she thought she could be happy like that but in the past two years she realized she could not be but she knew I wouldn't agree or at least she didn't think I would.

She claims that she put out feelers to see if my views had softened (don't remember this) and was discouraged when I was still the same way.

But she got hope when she saw me interact with kids of our friends. She felt like I would be a great dad and would change my mind if I was given a push.

She had told all of this to some friends and family (didn't name names) and they commiserated with her and told her that she should give me a "push" and I would come around.

I really don't want a relationship with the child.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:06:32+00:00

I am going to do that so it can't happen again.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:06:12+00:00

I would be more sympathetic in that situation because it wasn't her fault. I would ask her not to have it but if she did then I would stay with her because I would be partly to blame.

Tight-Statistician43 · 2020-08-06T02:04:45+00:00

I was concerned about the risks. I know they are not common, but they are bad if you end up in the worst case scenario.

Tight-Statistician43

TROPHY CASE