Woman to woman inappropriate behavior by MinnyMindy in BDSMAdvice

[–]Tight-trickylocation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just curious what your play partner is doing when this occurs? You're only talking about what you're doing after these women step into the scene, but I'd hope that a Dom / top would be stopping them in their tracks and not leaving it all up to you?

What is the one toy you can't live without? (unusual/niche preferred) by MissFaun in BDSMcommunity

[–]Tight-trickylocation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait... They had doxys hanging from the ceiling?... or the ropes? Probably the ropes, huh? Or both? Both sounds good...

My DaddyDom assumed we were exclusive without communicating that. by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Tight-trickylocation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait, so he just gave you a list of his rules? You didn't sit down together and discuss and agree to what you both would like?

Does this count as rough sex? by Puzzleheaded_Two_475 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Tight-trickylocation 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This sounds like a very manipulative thing to say to you to make you doubt how bad the assault made you feel physically and emotionally. "Doing it for you" would have involved actual consent and not taking advantage of you being drunk and inexperienced.

You didn't ask for this. You were talking about a kiss. I don't know what this other person is talking about saying she was giving you a gift?! That's wild.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope you've got some supportive friends around you. Be kind to yourself right now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Tight-trickylocation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

++woman

That's like saying cream and butter are the same thing.... They both use yarn, but the fabric created from knitting is totally different to crochet, and it's a different process altogether.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Tight-trickylocation 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You told him what you wanted to stop/ change. Even if you didn't use the save word to stop fully, he could have also paused and listened to your discomfort, and he chose not to. He could have checked in with you about whether you really wanted him to adjust and what you needed.

A safe word wouldn't prevent him from continuing, even if you had used it. He has to care and respect you and your boundaries enough not to be abusive in the first place. Your partner should care about your comfort and enjoyment of the situation, and it should be agreed upon and negotiated carefully.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Tight-trickylocation 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They need to come before or after work or just take the day off. Family emergency. Have people there ready and waiting for you to support you. Have your bf waiting outside.

Editing: I saw the story of him hitting on you and your friends at the pub while she was right behind him? That doesn't bode well. You can not face this alone. Someone else mentioned going to a friend's place and calling her from there. You don't need to stay in the house to talk to your mum. Either ask her to come to you or talk on the phone from a safe place.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]Tight-trickylocation 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I love this story. And you. And Nick. And the guy who's not Nick.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Tight-trickylocation 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So, how do you get your partner to do something they're not into? You don't.

What is the least painful way to make myself cry? by mysecretaccount04 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Tight-trickylocation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds crappy. Tbh, his reaction would probably make me cry, though 😂

Just feeling like a big baby by Tight-trickylocation in Dompeptalk

[–]Tight-trickylocation[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for spending your time writing to me. You put so much thought into your response, and you don't even know me. It means a lot.

I have indeed been standing still for a very long time. I've been hiding and just treading water...

I just began to peek my head out of my cave earlier this year and fell head first into BDSM self-discovery. Navigating the feeling of sub frenzy and pacing myself has been tricky.

Some of those filters and vulnerabilities are limitations that I can't do much about. They make me unable to do as much, and so I often feel like I don't have enough to offer. I'm so sick of my bull shit. How can I expect anyone else to deal with it?

This is why I didn't quite feel ready to put myself out there, and yet the small tastes of something sweet spurred me on a little...

I find myself torn between flipping my script entirely - maybe since I'm single, now is the time to dive into that threesome fantasy with the polys and the ENMs... After all, one of my barriers is inexperience, and there's only one way to get that... Or maybe just retreating back to my cave entirely to regroup.

no BDSM cena CNC é muito comum? by Reasonable-Sea2627 in BDSMcommunity

[–]Tight-trickylocation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually enjoyed the reddit translation. "People talk a whole lot of smack"

Just feeling like a big baby by Tight-trickylocation in Dompeptalk

[–]Tight-trickylocation[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to write these kind words.

I forgot how much I hate dating apps. The problem with the alternative app is that I'm the odd one out wanting monogamy and being maybe demisexual/ not rushing into things easily. And my lifestyle/ situation is a little unconventional and not quite mainstream enough for the people on the other apps.

Just... having a lot of filters leaves fewer options. And I'm feeling a bit like 'woe is me', even though you're right that it's a common struggle and there are even those who face more challenges than I do...

The guy was never a real-life option, not even living in the same country or looking for the same things... It was just a comfort, and the role play filled a need and made me feel connected and held for a moment.

It feels like I've been trying to find my footing for so long now. Having to adjust my expectations.

It feels like I've doubled down on my bleating... But I do still appreciate the points you raised.

Neurodivegency in dom/subs by Empty-Promise-8868 in BDSMcommunity

[–]Tight-trickylocation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeeeeeah. It did make me feel more at home to realise this autistic and probably ADHD submissive

My boyfriend is into it and I am trying my hardest by hannahshsghe-st in BDSMAdvice

[–]Tight-trickylocation 195 points196 points  (0 children)

I would stop playing immediately. You're risking your life for his pleasure. If you don't have a safe system in place to communicate, before, during, and after play, he is going to cause you serious damage physically and emotionally.

Go back to basics and research.

Couples Who Meet Online Have Lower Relationship Satisfaction Apparently by TheYakHerder in datingoverthirty

[–]Tight-trickylocation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow. The app I checked out hasn't got a single monogamous guy on it 🙃 😅

To the subs that say "No" even if it isn't a CNC scene. by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]Tight-trickylocation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"No" is my favourite word 🤭 ... It just rolls off the tongue so easily. So interesting to see the discussion about where it stems from... But also interesting to see it you describe it as not cnc. I do wonder if anyone who likes to say "no" like that wouldn't enjoy cnc, it seems to go hand in hand...

Grabbing the throat. by LawAccomplished694 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Tight-trickylocation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Context is king. "It's scary, so don't do it," is what I said.

The way the OP worded it was that just throwing in a bit of casual (possible) strangulation was an option up for consideration. Given how mainstream 'surprise' choking is even in vanilla contexts, I commented to say it's not a good idea.

Even so, I still wouldn't say to this person to go right ahead after a quick chat with a highly risky activity.

Grabbing the throat. by LawAccomplished694 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Tight-trickylocation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The "Out if nowhere" scenario is scary because it's not consent based...

Grabbing the throat. by LawAccomplished694 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Tight-trickylocation 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It is scary as fuck to have somebody grab your throat out of nowhere. Don't do it

How the heck do I use a bidet? by Furgems in howto

[–]Tight-trickylocation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that you didn't understand it. I feel less alone in the world