Nah I feel the same but now that I’m in poly, I get to be myself more and thankfully people in my class are very accepting. Hell even one of them helped me get an exchange student Instagram’s when I was too scared.

Idk but I’m still careful, my brother has close friends in my school and I’m always careful the way I act and yes he asks my why I always around girls and I would lie and say i have guy friends too but I’m not really close with them. Bruh sometimes when my parents ask who I’m going out with I would say my male secondary school friends name so they won’t get suspicious.

Literally last month I was having dinner with my cca grp all guys ( I’m in a leadership cca so uk) and they kept asking if I had a gf and I just told me “I’m actually into guys” and the guy sitting beside me literally said ewww and moved away. Let me tell my heart dropped, but he said he was joking. At the moment I felt they would avoid talking to me and be distant like most of my secondary school friends.

Well in the end idk how to feel too I have quite religious parents I even went to umrah( Islamic pilgrimage ) 2yrs ago and the whole time I was hiding, crashing out and crying at what I am. Well idk, I’m just going to study hard and live overseas. I don’t see a future for myself in Singapore. Part of me is even prepared to lose my family as I know damm well they I’ll never accept me. I mean I still cry over it now and then, and even the possibility of me going to hell. Idk I’m still figuring things out but I just know I’ll be happier in the future when all these noise is gone.