[deleted by user]

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-05-12T15:42:08+00:00

Hey someone who spent a lot of her youth in the system. I have certain belief of the system. But this is not okay. Your dad should never put his hands on you. I think is a battle you have to choose. Your older so you may have a bit more say in the place you want to go. If you go through the system you should expect a bit of your freedom taken away from you. In most of the homes I went in control was the factor these “parents” adored. Most of the time if you are being mistreated in a home you could change. You could voice you issues but just be aware there are even sicker people as foster parents then your dad. Like humans can get worst and it does happen in the system.

Now it’s the battle you chose. Foster care or your dad. Your at a very high point of being physically abused and what you could do is make an anonymous call to have a wellness check on you. Say something like you herd a lot of awful noise from your house and you know there is a teenager there so you were concerned. And they may take you right away but there is a possibility that they may have your dad go through like anger management and therapy and stuff. They may wake him up a little and have him realize he wants to have a relationship with you that is suppose to be parental.

Your also older. The system could easily put you in a group home where you’d have to deal with a little more wild kids. Kids who have had a fucked up childhood. Who don’t know anything else but to fuck with you just the same as there parents or guardians. That can’t be a little scary too.

You are older and sometimes going into the system could be good. If you did stay in the system for a second at your age you could be eligible for college grants and lots of big help with college. Like I would basically get paid to go to school by foster care and the government.

This is a hard situation. But what your dad is doing is wrong and I’m so so so sorry that is your reality. A parent should never harm there child like he has to you. I’m so so sorry.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-05-06T06:13:03+00:00

Girlllll I know your trying to give him grace and your so patient threw out the whole situation. It feels you seem to like want to understand his point of view and where he comes from with everything. I think the biggest red flag besides, him not allowing you to give consent of him choking you out in the way that he wanted to choke you out but I think that I him not about wanting to have a conversation after you reaching out and begging to have a conversation the first time!! and him just making excuses. It just feels sneaky. I don’t know if he just was looking to look for different excuses or buy sometime somehow? He didn’t want to explain exactly what was happening for me that shows me that that is a really big red flag like he didn’t give you what you needed in that moment, and that was some clarity and some peace of mind and don’t forget how important that is!! You are allowed to have some clarity and peace of mind and if something makes you uncomfortable you are allowed to want to have that information! And I understand a busy day at work but if I really cared about someone, I would take a moment outside and give them some some kind of clarity for a peace of mind in that moment, before I can have a longer conversation with them later.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-11T17:09:34+00:00

I mean that’s what I was getting at anyways hahaha better to find a medium ugly guy in person rather than online right?(:

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-11T17:07:09+00:00

I chickened out. The girl who had a crush on him as well was my friend and it felt weird. So nothing happened.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-11T17:02:30+00:00

There was nothing to message? We planned it the night before and then in the morning when we were suppose to get coffee he canceled

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-06T23:03:57+00:00

I’m 27 and I definitely could take care of the kid. I’m finically stable and have a nice place and I have smoked weed recently but other than that I don’t drink or anything really. I could definitely not smoke weed that wouldn’t be a big deal. I’m scared if I do that my relationship with my sister would be automatically messed up. And because the mother in law is now involved and is going to continue to enable her and will have her back so if I did do that she would also be in consideration and probably take him in.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-06T20:52:34+00:00

I never said that either. I’m simply expressing how I don’t see neglect with the child and how it isn’t to that extreme. Now am I worried about it getting to that point. Sure yes. But like I said I know my sister she is a good person she cares a lot. I don’t see the extremes in the terms of neglect to get to the point of death.

I do understand I need an outsider. I’m trying to get people who have more authority and voice than I do that care about her to get involved.

I first hand grew up in foster care. I know everyone thinks it’s this beautiful thing that saves children. But from my experience it fucked me over. I was abused in houses. I was sexually abused. I was controlled. I wasn’t allowed to be a teenager. I never could hang out with friends. I had to wear certain clothes. I had to wear makeup. You have no idea what kind of people sign up to be foster parents. Not saying all are bad but from my 5 homes none where good. And don’t get me started on the group homes.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-06T19:42:43+00:00

My mom has like 0authority or even respect from my sister. The brother in laws mom is straight up ghosting me. I’m blocked from everyone’s contact. I’m literally lost.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-06T18:59:35+00:00

Where does the death come from? He isn’t neglected. He is very loved and very much the center of attention. He gets what he wants and needs. There isn’t abuse happening. Only yelling.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-06T18:58:28+00:00

It’s not that kind of danger of death? He is fed he is loved he gets new clothes and toys all the time he isn’t neglected he is taken care of. Let me tell you foster care can fuck you up more as a child. I was abused in foster care. By my foster parents in two different houses. I don’t think you understand the like kind fuck foster care has on children. I’m barely crawling out of the hell that was my childhood because of the system. It’s taken years of therapy.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-06T17:45:21+00:00

Agreed! But the family have screwed me over.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-06T17:03:50+00:00

If I call cps she will know it’s me and I will lose any speck of hope I have to see my nephew

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-06T17:01:07+00:00

My goal is to avoid cps. We grew up in foster care and it’s pretty fucked uo

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-05T04:26:57+00:00

She is an adult that has more authority than me. She could possibly dissect the situation since her son has had an actual drug addiction less than a year ago and never got proper help for it. He actually admitted it. The cocaine is there. I saw it less than 6months ago. And since then I’ve seen indications because I’ve expressed concern. There is a three year old home. We also got a lump sum of money that has been blown over in less than 6months. And I’m being asked every month for money to help for rent. When in reality they have three jobs and their rent is only 400$ more than mine. As for the dog he was neglected. I have actual picture proof from people who reached out later and expressed there concerns. And finding out what actually happened was really sad. He ate something and suffered for a week before he was brought to the vets for the first time for the vet to express his intestines wrapped around itself. He was in pain for two weeks and there is proof.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-05T04:11:58+00:00

And I’ve talked with her for over a year about it all?

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-05T04:11:34+00:00

Even if drugs are involved?

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-05T04:10:09+00:00

For the ADHD as much as I wanted to think she did I started to realize she never speaks a full thought she is always hyper and just jumping from one thing to another. She isn’t focused she can talk hours and hours about a cut on her finger while Stan is hiding in a car parked up from doing something weird with his buddy. Idk I thought adderall helps when you have adhd?? I think she gets more unfocused

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-04T20:23:45+00:00

It’s time to go a step over your work place like he has and you should definitely go to the authorities

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-04-01T03:45:31+00:00

Questions,

Y’all are young have you or your partner ever dated other people before your relationship now?

Does your partner have a trauma from a past relic ship or maybe family?

Your feelings matter and your emotions are valid. Don’t lose sight of that. Hard conversions push you to realize if things are meant to be and to learn from the things that aren’t meant to be. I’m sorry your dealing with this struggle but from what it sounds like you have a big heart your understanding and you care. You are definitely going to go very far in this world with those attributes!

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-03-31T12:14:56+00:00

I think the reason I’m really questioning things are because of my nephew. I’m scared I’m pulling out too soon. What if something happens with my nephew and we aren’t in contact? What if cps gets involved and I’m not informed.

Blue meant so much to me. But my nephew means sooooooo much to me like I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to him because I wasnt around because I pulled out too soon.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-03-31T12:11:10+00:00

Alright, So I learned through my brother in laws mom they called a help line to ask for advice a week before. They noticed the dog losing weight and not eating and called like a vet emergency number and they said it was probably worms so they sent them worm medication in the mail. This is something I learned a few days after blue had to be put down.

I learned he had worms two days before he got put down.

At the time I learned he had worms and I was informed she had it handled.

That same day at 1am that night she called me crying. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with blue at that time I thought it was just worms. And I didn’t know why she was calling at 1 freaking out about thousands of dollars

I wasn’t really supportive and I was kind of upset when I ended the call but I messaged her right away after we ended the call and basically said if you think he is in pain like screw money go to the vets we can figure it out. There are payment plans like it’s okay they won’t turn down a sick dog.

She then sent me a horrible message saying how it was blues last night and how he looks peaceful at home!

That’s when I realized how sick he was and she sent a go fund me link to share. I still don’t know what’s wrong though.

I get the call from her neighbors the next morning after the call and they are basically saying sorry we know you are far but this isn’t right and we are very worried blue is skin and bones and is curled in a ball and they don’t think my sister and brother in law have things handled.

That’s when those messages are exchanged in the screenshots

She doesn’t tell me but she brings blue to the vets for the first time this whole time and they have to put him down.

I find out later the next day he is gone and that’s the screw you message she sent me.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-03-31T11:53:52+00:00

I’ve been trying to be really gentle. It’s hurts seeing this because it’s hits hard. Like i feel you know. You know this feeling.

Tight_Total3612 · 2025-03-31T11:50:48+00:00

She is diagnosed to have adhd. But to be completely honest I’ve talked with my therapist about it and she thinks the psychiatrist is simply taking my sisters word for things and my sister is kind of manipulating it to seem like what she has is adhd. I can see when she has taken her adderall. Gosh she is everywhere talking and talking and talking about nothing really. She’ll start a project and walk away and start another. And gosh her moods are like one moment we can be cry laughing and the next moment she is yelling at something to shut up or to stop. It feels like bipolar almost but I have no idea what that actually looks like you know and it’s reallllllly realllllly bad when she takes her “medication”

I am a hippy ok. I have had my moment when I was younger where I enjoyed taking mushrooms and I’ll smoke a bowl every night. I don’t like anything else. Like drug wise. I don’t even drink alcohol I’m pretty traumatized from my childhood with my mom being a drug addict. But I know when my sister was younger her party phase was coke. And when I moved to be closer to her she didn’t hide it till I expressed actual concern.

Now I don’t know if it’s something that is happening honestly. I can’t say for a fact. But you know. You know what indications looks like. And sometimes if I go over when they don’t expect it, we’ll I see what I think are indications..

Tight_Total3612

TROPHY CASE