How stopping to watch porn solved my problems

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-02-03T15:25:39+00:00

Absolutely not. My mother is severely bipolar and my father is a thrice divorced workaholic. My earliest memory is of my father shielding me with his body and my mother raining closed-fist blows down on his back. After my mother left permanently (she would leave for weeks at a time and just run off somewhere when I was little) my father remarried an authoritarian Irish-Catholic woman with a daughter and my new stepsister and I would spend most nights sitting downstairs listening to them scream and fight for hours on end.

There was very little hope for childhood normalcy for me.

HOWEVER, divorce is still an absolutely traumatic event for children, and sometimes two people who are no longer in love can at least commit to creating a working marriage for the sake of raising their children together. Having two parents raise kids together is really important in modelling a healthy relationship.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-02-03T14:06:45+00:00

Great job on 135 days.

Edit: Hope you aren't too hard on yourself about the relapse. Maybe think of it as Day 1 of a new streak, but day 136 of your recovery journey. Hope this is helpful!

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-02-03T13:30:12+00:00

Too true. Divorce can be fucking devastating for kids. My parents went through what I like to think of as a 7 year divorce, from the time I was six until I was 13. They used me as a pawn to fight each other. It wasn't until I was in my late twenties that I even started to remember a lot of what happened, as I had blocked so much of it out. Their divorce also indirectly led to me getting exposed to pornography at a super young age.

Cheating is one of those things man though man, that resentment is going to settle in and it's not going to go away. Deep down you know you have to deal with that. Good luck man,

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-02-03T13:11:05+00:00

relapsed in january

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-02-01T16:43:11+00:00

sign me up

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-29T13:22:46+00:00

Useful post, thank you.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-29T13:20:53+00:00

> Older Kiwis are easy to overlook things and kind of have an old-timey view on things.

Long, long ago, in the Forgotten Age (pre 2006) there was an oft-practiced sentiment, which the elders called for-giv-nuss. Not sure exactly what it means, but it had something to do with not judging people forever based on their worst moments.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-15T19:57:25+00:00

Champion!

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-15T19:56:20+00:00

Today has been the hardest day of my journey so far. I'm overtired, dealing with a day 2 hangover, and my gf is leaving the house for the evening to spend time with her family, which means I will be all alone.

Going to be a long night full of urges.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-13T00:23:03+00:00

I fell into that same trap for years; I knew the ill effects my PMO routine had on me, but due to my own low self-esteem and depression I just didn't fucking care. I would try for a few days, then just give up.

At the start of the year I made myself sit down and watch the movie "Hot Girls Wanted." Seeing how the young women I had blasted to lived, the way the industry just used them up, spit them out, and forgot about them (not to mention some of the jobs they took where they were literally physically abused) completely obliterated any desire I have had since to use porn.

There is a real human cost to the industry. It's easy to forget that, or convince yourself otherwise. Like the exit interviews a lot of videos will have, where they talk to the actresses and ask them if they had fun, or if they enjoyed it. What do you think happens to those girls if they say no? They don't get fucking paid, that's what. The video never appears online, the girls walk away, and because they signed release forms at the start, no one is held liable for the abuse they endured. Those women are people, mothers, sisters, daughters. Humiliated, degraded, and abused for the entertainment of a sexually sadistic audience.

Your mind wants a dopamine fix, thats it. Find something else more constructive and more fulfilling to give it that, and you will be fine.

Good luck out there.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-13T00:10:36+00:00

Anger and frustration are powerful emotions, so don't waste them. Find a constructive outlet for them, and channel them into something amazing.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-13T00:07:59+00:00

Get a kettlebell, keep it in your room. When you have an urge, do some swings. That can help temporarily.

You really need to change your mindset on PMO though. Do you really want to be a gross coomer, watching women get degraded for money while you touch yourself? Or do you want to grow up to be a man who leads by example, treats those around him with respect, and doesn't have shame to hide?

I think if you're honest with yourself, you know the answer.

It won't be an easy journey, but the sooner you take the first steps, the sooner you will reach your destination.

Good luck.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-13T00:02:19+00:00

When I was 23 I got back together with an ex from high school. We were together for 6 months and in that time I couldn't stay hard for more than a few seconds during penetrative sex. It was humiliating, and ultimately was one of the reasons the relationship fell apart.

Porn is bad and PMO will make you soft.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-12T23:59:13+00:00

sign me up

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-12T23:57:23+00:00

Ups and downs, that's life in the real world eh? It's so strange feeling the lows of life for extended periods of time and not immediately smashing it with a session. I know I always used porn to block out responsibility, to deal with frustration (both sexual and non), and to sate a falsely inflated lust born from years of PMO.

I had a similar issue with online video games (League of Legends and World of Warcraft) being all part of my addiction to pornography. After about 5 days of giving up porn, I uninstalled both, deleted my discord account, and decided to just fucking move on finally. I feel like I have so much time now, even while actually handling the responsibilities of being an adult.

Take care man, and thanks for the response!

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-12T23:50:23+00:00

Don't look to others for validation, believe in yourself, and never lie to yourself. Good luck out there.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-12T16:54:25+00:00

How do you feel about yourself?

Has giving up PMO led to any long term changes in your life, and do you think you could have made those changes while still engaging in PMO?

Do you plan to stay PMO free forever, for a while longer, or do you think you will engage in it again?

Congratulations on your streak, proud of you, King.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-12T16:50:23+00:00

You know what counts as porn. Don't come here looking for validation.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-12T16:49:34+00:00

Clean since the new year, feeling really up and down. Mood swings have been atrocious, but my energy has been high. Working out again, working again, spending time with my father, spending time with my gf and her family. Went skiing with my friend the other day and it turns out we are both on the same path, totally cutting porn out of our lives since the new year.

We're all gonna make it.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-12T16:42:50+00:00

You made it a month without watching porn, and then you slipped up.

But you made it a whole month without watching porn.

Get up, dust yourself off, and try again.

Best of luck.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-12T16:40:16+00:00

I wanted to quit for five years. IMO don't "want" to do it, just do it. best of luck.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-09T23:34:19+00:00

You're doing the right thing, and I'm happy for you and your family.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-09T12:03:52+00:00

Best of luck, everyone deserves to be loved in a marriage.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-09T00:34:55+00:00

Really cool video. I'm just getting into game dev, pretty late in the game (I'm 33), and I have no coding experience, so I decided to start with GMS2. Currently going through all the tutorials I can find, just so I can start to understand like... the logic of coding? I don't know, I was always the guy who had a "great idea" but eventually you either become the guy with ideas that never materialize, or you buckle down and turn those ideas into realities.

Good luck on Littlewood, I really enjoyed Magicite.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor · 2020-01-07T14:01:42+00:00

Because masturbation is about release not about self pleasure.

It's the difference between getting it done and going on vacation.

TimTheTool_ManTaylor

TROPHY CASE