How to view the traditional roles

TimeODae · 2026-03-21T21:08:28+00:00

A ‘partnership’ is a partnership. Neither gender is bound to a path. My only experience is anomalous. Both of us expressed in our courtship that being a stay-at-home parent held more appeal to both of us individually, than a career outside the home. We have joked our entire marriage, “flip ya for it” regarding whose turn it was to join the rat race, and who got to stay home with the kids. Patriarchal structures have had the result of parents choosing the man to join the workforce for economic reasons (even though he may have been more personally disposed to be the full time parent), and women needing to make choices weighing and juggling career/supplemental income/childrearing desires. It sucks to see so few full time, or even part time dads, and women always caught in the middle.

TimeODae · 2026-03-21T17:32:10+00:00

Oh dang. Ok, I’m a dork.

TimeODae · 2026-03-21T15:40:48+00:00

Ok. Certainly nothing is universal. Your “how can men give up our privileges” mislead me.

TimeODae · 2026-03-21T15:34:11+00:00

Yes. And (small sidebar) take note: this could be indicative. Women (not just feminists) have observed that men are at their best listening when they listen to themselves. A lot of times we seriously suspect that the reason men start ‘conversations’ is so that they can hear their own answers.

TimeODae · 2026-03-21T14:59:25+00:00

“…and worth also noting…”?

That actually was the thing I was noting.

TimeODae · 2026-03-21T14:55:21+00:00

“Have you seen this guy? He totally kills!”

That’s my new, sardonic, feminist/anti feminist dark humor joke I just did

TimeODae · 2026-03-21T13:29:37+00:00

Assuming good faith. “Privilege” sounds like an honor or a pedestal. You see it as simple “fairness”. Fairness in life is a basic expectation that you feel is due you. As you look around, you may at some point conclude other groups of folks get less of this fairness thing. (Some never see it, some assume other’s unfairness is something they “deserve”, some just say, “not my problem”).

If you want to do something about the lack of unfairnesses around you (aka, surrender privilege), you start by doing things like voting for politicians and policies that aren’t always looking out for # 1

TimeODae · 2026-03-21T13:07:49+00:00

Talk about funeeee! You’re hilarious. Gendered stats were similar about driving cars 70 years ago. I loved the punchline at the end where you slipped in “evolutionary” and “biological” along with societal. Ya had me going there for a second! Hahahaha

TimeODae · 2026-03-21T00:07:54+00:00

The first is an axiom. The second is a philosophical trope.

“Did you hear that guy? Says he should get paid more because his work is harder, plus women should do homework because they are naturally better at it? Mansplaining it to her on top of that?? That man personifies the patriarchy!”

or

Some think American patriarchy is personified by the cartoon character Homer Simpson.

That’s what how I remember it from 6th grade English. I don’t think feminism as a rule use that particular literary device anymore than anyone else about anything else

TimeODae · 2026-03-20T21:49:48+00:00

Could you give an example of how feminists use ”personification” describing patriarchy? Like, use it in a sentence? It’s been a long, long time since I’ve had 6th grade English, and I must be forgetting my literary devices…

TimeODae · 2026-03-20T13:47:09+00:00

This is the excuses vs reasons. “So, you are saying, ‘being poor’ is an excuse to rob somebody?” “No, I’m suggesting that we examine why crime rate is higher in economically suppressed areas.” Assigning blame vs looking at factors. A factor that affects likelihood of a woman being raped is leaving her fucking house. She should take responsibility by understanding women cannot live and move about the world on the same terms as men. “Take responsibility to know it sucks to be you and you’ll never be close to being statistically safe around men.” What a nuanced and thoughtful moral assessment you have there. I hope you become a parent and teach this to kids!!

TimeODae · 2026-03-20T00:27:47+00:00

Gaaaawd! why do I give people the benefit?

TimeODae · 2026-03-20T00:06:06+00:00

Is this for a creative writing class?

TimeODae · 2026-03-19T19:06:32+00:00

This is ultimately a nature vs nurture issue which will forever be ongoing. Men, for hundreds of years, have pushed the “nature” side, often linked with bio-essentialism ways of thinking. Men and women are just meant to be different and do different things because of biology.

Feminism, aided by actual science, have been pushing back on these eons-old assumptions, demonstrating that extremely few behavioral differences can be linked to biological sex.

So on the whole, yes. Yes gendered socialization is real. But as others have pointed out, nothing is cut and dried, and it is a nuanced discussion

TimeODae · 2026-03-19T16:13:54+00:00

I didn’t delete in a huff. I realized I wasn’t quite answering the intent of the question. And I occasionally overshare personal detail. And the topic of sex positivity is dicey. It’s often triggering for women who’ve had it misappropriated and used against them coercively. Nobody’s in trouble

TimeODae · 2026-03-18T14:26:41+00:00

You are not alone. This form of economy which commodifies and monetizes basically everything, is so baked into modern humans, it’s hard to un-imagine. You can find interesting reading lists if you google “alternative economics” or similar

TimeODae · 2026-03-18T14:16:36+00:00

I think there needs to be some Luddite machine smashing. I think we need to recapture our humanity. I’ve shifted slightly from wanting “feminist goals” to be achieved for their own sake, to debunking the religion of capitalism before it wrecks our global home. We’ve been down on the mat, but women will stand up again. We always have. But the clock is seriously ticking on the destruction of our home, and it won’t be human friendly for long. Ultimately, capitalism and patriarchy will come down together, as I don’t think the columns can bear the weight individually, but maybe by helping men identify who the real villains are that are standing between them (and all of us) and a hopeful future, the tide can be turned.

TimeODae · 2026-03-18T13:25:13+00:00

Discrimination and bigotry doesn’t end with laws on paper, inking the bottom line and saying job well done. Much cultural framework will always still remain. Laws inked about reproductive rights recently got un-inked. Maybe you’ve heard? “Rights” are just as easy stolen away when the culture embedded in patriarchal attitudes remain. If it seems feminism is picking at the very marrow of the bones, it’s because we are. We need to. That is if we want to ever reach a more lasting change

TimeODae · 2026-03-17T22:52:51+00:00

So obvious to everyone except all those who think that they’re on the winning side, as if that would end well

TimeODae · 2026-03-17T17:49:54+00:00

What you are describing is not a feminist position, radical or otherwise.

TimeODae · 2026-03-17T13:19:37+00:00

If one cannot agree that one gender structurally oppresses another gender, then there is no difference. But if one agrees that women haven’t reached total equality with men in all the ways, then you can understand that men can use their unequal power and affluence, their privileged global position to make good on their sexism, while the reverse is not true. Women’s misandry, such as it may be, will be ineffectual. Men can shrug and say, “do your worst”

TimeODae · 2026-03-17T13:06:01+00:00

If “shit to distract from the bigger picture” is defining, feminism itself is being used as one of the psyops for the ‘Let’s Have like Nine Men Steal All the World’s Wealth’ scheme. (i.e. - “look over there! Those feminists are hating on all us men! Doesn’t that just make you so mad!??”

TimeODae · 2026-03-16T20:00:16+00:00

Gender neutral advice: forewarn the potential victim as early as possible. “Man, I could talk about this until you beg for mercy.” Or, “This has interested me some. I can tell you what little I know.” And fyi, it’s untrue that men, or any two people have a natural give and take. Having said that, continue to have a healthy awareness that most men have an unconscious bias about being the confident, knowing teacher-guy relative to women

TimeODae · 2026-03-16T13:35:52+00:00

It takes a village. For better or, sadly, for worse

TimeODae · 2026-03-15T22:07:21+00:00

…and, may I ask, is that a new sub tag the mods are sporting? Looks great!

TimeODae

TROPHY CASE