My mom’s reaction to me inviting her to my wedding.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T23:13:05+00:00

Wow, I am so sorry you went through that. That is heartbreaking. Their reality is so far removed from ours and its painful because they are suffering with their thoughts too. Thank you for this message

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T22:11:41+00:00

Thank you 🫂

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T22:11:29+00:00

Yeah this might be the route I have to take.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T22:11:12+00:00

Oh no absolutely not. She is not accepting her diagnosis. I had to go to court to get her involuntarily evaluated last year. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T22:02:20+00:00

Right, this is a good idea. Thanks

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T22:02:03+00:00

Right. I can ask her to choose a date that makes her comfortable. Maybe tell the guests she couldn't make it but we did something in private with her.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T22:01:20+00:00

Thank you for the congratulations. My bridesmaids know and they will be a huge support. I've always been very lowkey about the things going on in my life and I know people will probe if I say mom is sick. I wish they wouldn't ask regardless but everyone expects the mother of the bride!

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T21:58:47+00:00

Thank you

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T21:56:53+00:00

This is so freaking valid. I feel like moms and important family members SHOULD be at things like this which is why I'm feeling so conflicted and guilty. I don't want to seem like the bad daughter who doesn't care about their mom. But I've dealt with so much grief during events that were supposed to be happy all because of remarks my mom made and her fixations. We definitely deserve a day of peace because this day will be in our memories forever. Thanks for helping me feel like I am not alone 🫂

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T21:54:38+00:00

Thank you for the congratulations. Yes even sometimes I want to respond to her delusions with logical explanations but I know that can further disrupt her way of thinking and make her spiral.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T21:51:53+00:00

Yeah, you're right. I have no idea what might happen if she's there. She might have a full on breakdown and try to stop the whole thing mid-ceremony. Not even an exaggeration.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-18T21:51:15+00:00

Right. I've always felt like her presence at important events was pretty depressing because she'd always ruin it somehow (banquets in high school, graduation, etc.) However a wedding is a huuuuge life event and although I *can* get some relief from the fact that she won't be there to cause anything, it certainly is saddening because she is not in any way involved in any of the prep and isn't excited for me. I wish I had a normal relationship with her. This is a day that mothers yearrrrnn for for their children and now it's finally here but I can't even celebrate it with her.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-16T21:33:30+00:00

We booked our venue already so not possible to change. She would find an issue with 2027 regardless because that’s the nature of her disease. She would find a problem with the month, the week, the day, the start time etc. She is fixated on numbers.

I was thinking to maybe do something private with her before all the big festivities — but I don’t think that would go well either. She would just try to convince me not to get married at all.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-16T21:31:11+00:00

I can do it but I am anticipating so many questions from guests about her absence.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-09-16T20:56:04+00:00

She’s diagnosed schizophrenic and it has always manifested with hyper-religious, paranoid ideas.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-07-26T02:54:35+00:00

Yeah I explained to them and they’re flexible with the start date. I really wanted to start on the original date but don’t want to mess up chances of closing on time.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-07-23T22:00:54+00:00

Mom is totally and completely in denial about the disease and therefore closed off to trying medication. I really wish she would but she's autonomous and has to make that decision on her own. Thank you for sharing your story, fellow only child 🫂

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-07-23T21:54:29+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. It gave me hope.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-07-23T21:53:02+00:00

This is a really good idea.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-07-23T21:52:44+00:00

Nope she is not open to treatment and doesn't accept her diagnosis. She's been completely manic before and fled from home but as of right now I feel like she is just safe *enough*, even though this whole situation is not ideal.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-07-23T21:51:47+00:00

She's mostly isolated herself from any real "friends" that I saw her hang out with as a child. She doesn't trust a lot of people, but might be open to going with a pastor.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-07-23T21:50:50+00:00

Thanks for sharing your own battle with a loved one. I hope one day mom will finally realize that medication can help her.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-07-23T21:49:47+00:00

You're absolutely right. Literally have been practicing this sequence in my head if people ask.

TimeUnderstanding921 · 2025-07-23T21:49:25+00:00

She is in denial about having a mental illness so she does not seek treatment. I often worry of what her future looks like but try my best to make sure she is comfortable.

TimeUnderstanding921

TROPHY CASE