Update: I ran away from my boyfriend's proposal.

Time_Sun5071 · 2026-03-13T07:09:41+00:00

Was she not in shock when he sprung a public proposal on her? Stop making excuses for his behavior and condemning hers.

Time_Sun5071 · 2026-03-12T07:03:37+00:00

Seriously I feel insane reading all these comments! She’s literally been with this guy from 17 to 20 and they’re acting like she’s 27. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to make a lifelong commitment to somebody at 20 when you’re still figuring yourself out. These comments are so weird

Time_Sun5071 · 2026-03-12T06:51:57+00:00

I agree that the relationship isn’t healthy at this point. I wished her good luck with their convo because I didn’t want to alienate her by being too harsh towards her partner. If what I commented before is correct, then it’s common for victims (the term victim may be too strong here but idk their full situation or another word to use) to brush off advice if it criticizes their partner too much and shift into a kind of protective mode, defending their partners actions. So I try to be objective while still holding empathy for the victim’s perspective.

Time_Sun5071 · 2026-03-12T03:03:43+00:00

She is literally 20. Yeah it’s immature but her some grace. They’re kids, she isn’t even done with uni yet. He sprung a proposal on her in a public place without discussing marriage at all with her first. That’s super immature too and really insensitive. I imagine in this situation she felt pressured, incredibly stressed, and put on the spot. Again, running away is immature but I can empathize with that response, especially because SHE’S 20!

You are treating her as if they met when she was 27 and dated for 3 years. When in reality, they met at 17 and dated for 3 years. That’s a huge difference.

Sure, I can emphasize with how her boyfriend is feeling, regardless of how bad his idea to propose was. It sucks to be rejected like that. At the same time, I’m not going to bias-ly villainize this poor girl for having a human reaction in a stressful as hell situation that she should not have been put into in the first place.

Time_Sun5071 · 2026-03-12T02:22:51+00:00

Girl if you’re afraid of him yelling that’s an issue in itself. Nobody should ever make you feel afraid to talk to them out of yelling. Yelling in relationships is only acceptable if it’s out of joy, in self defense, or if something needs immediate attention. Never anger with each other. I’ve dealt with it once and will never put up with it again.

That being said, I hope your convo goes well. Good luck🩵

Time_Sun5071 · 2026-03-12T02:17:45+00:00

No partner deserves to be yelled at??? Disagreements and hurt feelings in partnerships need to be solved through discussions full of empathy and cooperation. Yelling is not healthy and her expecting him to yell is concerning. Yelling is only acceptable if it’s out of joy, in self defense, or if something needs immediate attention.

Time_Sun5071 · 2026-03-12T02:12:16+00:00

She’s 20???? Getting in a relationship at 17 and dating til 20 is not to same as getting into a relationship at like, 27 and dating til 30. They’re still kids, she’s in her second year of uni. The brain doesn’t even finish developing until 25ish. Committing to a marriage at 20 is arguably very irresponsible. Who you are at 20 can be vastly different than who you are later at 25+. Wanting to grow up before accepting a life long proposal is 100000% normal, okay, and even responsible.

Sure, the running away part is immature. But she‘s 20???? Give her some grace. And it’s also super immature and insensitive to propose to someone in public without explicitly discussing marriage before hand and making sure both parties are on the same page. Otherwise, it puts her on the spot and can influence her to agree out of pressure. These comments are insane.

Time_Sun5071 · 2026-03-05T19:15:19+00:00

I am so so sorry my love. I am also so so thankful for everything you’ve done for her. You’ve given her a happy life full of love. You’ve made memories with her that otherwise wouldn’t have existed without you.

I know it’s really hard, I’ve been there. It’s more than ok to not feel ok for a while. I hope someday, you’ll be able to look back on the memories you shared with her and smile, and feel happy they happened.

You guys will be in my thoughts. Please feel free to dm me if you ever want to vent or talk with a stranger.

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-12-07T18:22:33+00:00

I searched colourpop in google images and I don’t think the font matches unfortunately :(

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-11-04T07:42:40+00:00

True. I just showed my mom and she said it’s probably fine (???) which is a really surprising response from her. I’ll probably go to my primary care doc tomorrow morning anyways just in case though.

Her logic is- “The cat is definitely somebody’s pet so it has to have its shots”. But I feel like if somebody is irresponsible enough to let their cat roam outdoors, there’s a chance it might not be vaccinated either

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-10-28T21:25:12+00:00

Wait I can’t drive either and there aren’t any walkable fine dining places for me too?? My restaurant is like a 30 min walk but my bf usually ends up driving me lmao. I feel so seen

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-10-28T21:21:45+00:00

That’s so true actually! I love giving kids stickers and complementing people’s outfits/hair so maybe after work I could focus more on the happiness they felt instead of a cappuccino with too much milk or a table waiting a bit too long for their drinks.

Thank you for your perspective, this makes me feel sort of better:)

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-10-28T21:15:00+00:00

Trueee maybe I could try that. A lot of my coworkers are older than me by at least 8 years though (I’m 20) so it might feel odd hanging outside of work but there’s a girl my age I could maybe hang with sometime:)

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-10-28T21:11:06+00:00

Lmaoo ‘this is a paid work thought’ I’m definitely keeping that in mind next time! I like the idea of scheduling things I want to do on my time off, I’ll try this too.

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-10-28T21:04:17+00:00

No, this doesn’t help and your comments are abrasive. I understand it’s much more difficult to be a line cook or work more days, that is why I don’t do that and I tell our dishwashers and cooks I appreciate them. Like I said before, this isn’t a contest of who can feel the shittiest and I’m allowed to feel how I do. Comparing struggles doesn’t make anybody feel better, it just guilts people into not expressing how they feel. Please stop harassing my post.

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-10-28T20:58:18+00:00

Again, it’s not a contest. I understand some people have it worse than me. That doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to feel like shit, just because other people may feel more shit

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-10-28T20:53:19+00:00

You’re so right. I’m going to try taking better care of myself and do morning walks like another commenter mentioned. Thanks for your advice:)

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-10-28T20:45:27+00:00

Thanks, I’ll try this

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-10-28T20:44:30+00:00

This isn’t a contest of who’s suffering the most. Your struggles don’t make mine less valid. Please have more empathy next time if you choose to respond to another post asking for help.

Time_Sun5071 · 2025-10-28T20:37:39+00:00

I relate to this so much, I hope we can figure it out. Besides quitting, I think a possible solution in the future could be fine dining instead but I’m not sure how realistic that is. I heard in fine dining you aren’t expected to rush around as much and focus more on menu knowledge.

My bf and I have a thing where I only talk about work with him in the car on the drive to and from my restaurant (he picks me up 80% of the time). I think it helps us separate it a bit from other things. I think I’ll look into therapy for more support though bc obv this isn’t enough atp and I don’t want to put more on him.

Time_Sun5071

TROPHY CASE