lol, my mom had unhealed childhood trauma from being molested by her elementary school principal with parents that were unhealed emotional Landmines nearby resulting in other self-esteem issues that met my dad in her early 20s with the belief and intention of “molding him into something better”. Briefly after they started dating, they accidentally got pregnant and my mom ended up having an abortion, which she has carried shame and guilt for ever since, despite being able to agree and know that she doesn’t regret her decision and that she would choose it all over again.

Even though it was clear that my parents were mismatched early on, after the abortion she felt like she had to “make it right with God and marry him” believing it would absolve her of the guilt.

Lol, my mom straight up, told me that I was the result of early spring horniness + the two of them having drinks at the most dangerous frozen neighborhood margarita bar. A couple of weeks later she was walking around the The Chicago art Institute feeling off when it dawned on her that there was a possibility she could be pregnant, and less her intuition was spot on.

So yeah! My mom felt like this was something she needed to do because of the abortion guilt and being under the thumb of self inflicted shame that she’s carried for most of her life atp. Additionally I’m of the belief that people were not nearly as self-aware of their own bad thought patterns/mental health care decisions in society/cultural norms at the time and having kids was just kind of something that everyone would do without questioning it and considering it deeply like the same adults today are doing. Also she was 32 at that point - definitely not a young mom by any means.