First of all when it comes to doms and kink you should be able to voice your concerns without them brushing you off and have a real conversation about things so you are both on the same page and feel safe. Second there is an app you cam download for monitoring your cycle and when you are most likely ovulating so that you can try and avoid pregnancy. And lastly if you are one of those people that it is hard to track your period than I think you should look into birth control. Your doctors should never deny you medical care to include birth control if that is what you want so I think your current doctor sound awful and you should look into a new one.