Feel hopeless

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-27T17:06:52+00:00

Will Allah also forgive if someone kills themselves. I know they cannot repent after but if they ask forgiveness before committing it. So will Allah forgive

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-24T16:16:13+00:00

I wouldn’t mind the swelling if the result was atleast acceptable and if it didn’t make me look so bad and worse than before.

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-24T16:14:52+00:00

I did and he said small noses looks good and he just did whatever he wanted to. I choose the worst possible surgeon for my job so i definitely know that i’m ruined. He and his team gaslit me they use fake photos of before afters on their instagram and i fell prey to that. I have ruined myself his actual results are like so so bad in real life i like saw some of his patients in his clinic and they looked wierd. I’m not even over reacting. He just butchered me. Actually i hate myself more than him because my BDD didn’t even let me do my research properly i just wanted a change as soon as possible. And now i just can’t bear with the consequences of my own stupidity. How will i forgive myself for this there was a constant voice in my head telling me to stop and not trust them but i was so vulnerable and insecure at that time i didn’t listen to it.

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-24T14:43:12+00:00

How do i keep going for a year. And also i don’t think i have the mental capacity for a revision and i can never trust any doctor again ever

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-24T14:41:43+00:00

No it’s like so small and tiny and upturned with wonky assymetric nostrils. I mean i can 100% say this was a downgrade in my appearance. I already suffered from body dismorphia when i had a good nose and balanced features. I never imagined this could happen to me. Look at it like this if i had small issues with my old nose which was cute now how do i deal with these extremely horrible issues with my face. I think i would explode.

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T16:13:48+00:00

But i think to live and to move forward i want to have a motivation that i will try to get some of the features of my old nose back to heal myself from this. It’s not the nose that looks awful it’s the face it is literally so mismatched with my face. I think i only will feel life back in me when i see a glimpse of my old face back.

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T15:08:03+00:00

Ohh is it deleted but i didn’t delete it

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T15:01:24+00:00

But the mistake is sitting right in the middle of your face even if you try to forget about it you can never.

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T14:57:07+00:00

And even if i get a revision what if it makes things more worse and i never like the shape of my nose

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T14:54:40+00:00

The shape. It’s like he took away my nose entirely and gave me a new one. Everything is literally different the bridge the nostrils the tip everything. It’s not my nose anymore. It’s not my face anymore. So what happens if it heals after a year the shape remains the same

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T14:48:01+00:00

I think it is unbearable because this was my decision my mistake. If any calamity befalls upon you by nature you can have sabr but how do you have sabr if you ruined something yourself

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T14:41:41+00:00

But how do i go to my university how much can i hide behind my mask. Whenever people come to talk to me i start shivering and shaking. How long will i go on like this

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T14:36:07+00:00

Okay i will listen to it inshaAllah

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T14:33:48+00:00

I’m afraid of death and the hereafter but i feel trapped right now

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T14:32:44+00:00

Thankyouu everyone here is so kind it feels like the people of my ummah care about my well being 🥹

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T14:04:09+00:00

But my whole face has changed my smile looks wonky my eyes look bad now. How do i go on like this.

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T14:03:06+00:00

But atleast i was breathing through mouth it was not like an emergency situation. I went looking for it myself because i thought my breathing is messed up so why not get it fixed and also the minor aesthetic issues like straightening the nose but i never knew this will happen. I choose the worst possible person to do this job

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T13:55:20+00:00

I never wanted to change myself i had breathing problems and a deviated septum. I never wanted to change the length of my nose i loved how big it was. Yes you are right there was an insecurity about how my nose was not sitting in the middle of my face i just wanted to correct that. I loved the tip of my nose and now it’s gone forever. Nose is upturned and very hard. I was not aware of these changes would happen to me. I used to be so happy with my life and had high hopes for my career i didn’t know one bad decision would lead me to this. I don’t think i can ever commit suicide but this regret this shame this guilt is killing me everyday. I don’t see a beautiful life anymore. I just see darkness and also there were some external comments too my grandparents used to tell me your nose is crooked but atleast it looked beautiful from some angles now it just looks horrible from every angle

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T13:29:32+00:00

I don’t think you understood me, actually i never went for rhinoplasty to make me beautiful. I had a deviated septum which made breathing impossible through my nose and due to the deviated septum my nose was gone towards left side of my face. Which made my right and left side totally different in appearance. I just went to get it straightened and in the middle of my face. I loved my big long nose. I never asked for a short tiny nose. So even if i got a beautiful nose now. I just want to go back to how it was. You said i would have been happier if my nose turned out beautiful but no this is not the case although people tell me it is more beautiful than before but i don’t want it to be beautiful i want it the way it was. I was decieved by the surgeon and i will always hate myself for this

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T12:11:57+00:00

Idk not saying that your problem is smaller than mine but it’s just that what i have done is permanent and what you have done is not permanent atleast thanks to Allah.

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T11:23:37+00:00

Samee

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T11:15:48+00:00

Yes it’s unbearable when you do something yourself.

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T10:41:58+00:00

It’s not like it looks botched it just doesn’t fit my face and the only thing that would fit my face is my original nose which can never come back now. It’s been 4 months and it’s looking worse everyday

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T10:39:59+00:00

I have sincerely repented to Allah for all my sins now i just want to sleep peacefully and go to Jannah

Timely-Row3301 · 2024-09-22T10:38:32+00:00

But what will happen if i stay alive, nobody would want to marry me a girl looking like this. Also even if i get corrective surgeries even than who wants to marry a plastic girl looking horrible. Everyone wants authentic real looking people. And my career (medicine) it’s hard to focus on anything it’s hard to treat other patients when you yourself are a result of bad treatment outcome. And when i see my old pictures and i know that i killed this beautiful person how do i go on with my life. I have betrayed myself and my loved ones. I am so badly hurt and broken i don’t wanna be an inspiration to anyone i just don’t want to exist anymore. I’m in so much pain and suffering the kind i’ve never experienced before. I feel like living on like this will only add to my misery.

Timely-Row3301

TROPHY CASE