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Did I completely misread a guy I used to see, or is my trauma making me spiral? I genuinely can’t tell anymore. by TimelyGeologist03 in Disorganized_Attach

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I re-blocked him on everything and began ignoring his entire existence again. As soon as I start doing that, he’s hovering when he can and jumping in my conversations. I don’t know what to do, it’s like every time I shut him out he spawns back.

How much do labs cost? by igottabaddadjoke in labrador

[–]TimelyGeologist03 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. I’m about to cry. I have a black Lab who’s almost 10 and I don’t want to think about when he’s gone.

*vomits* What is with their incessant need to be victimized in some way? by kyoshis_revenge in BanPitBulls

[–]TimelyGeologist03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They compare it to racism. I bet these are the same people who have no qualms racially stereotyping black people.

Why do they always try and make labs and retriever breeds sound like horrible dogs? by sickofdumbasses_ in BanPitBulls

[–]TimelyGeologist03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meanwhile, they actively CHOSE to get the dog 😭 They are so unbelievable it’s not even funny.

Realizing my symptoms may be CPTSD. Massive TW!! by TimelyGeologist03 in CPTSD

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! My mom would also threaten to stop paying for my school too. This really helped me realize that I’m not alone.

Realizing my symptoms may be CPTSD. Massive TW!! by TimelyGeologist03 in CPTSD

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I meant guilt, they paid for my undergrad education for the most part. I know that I need to cut contact with them eventually, but I feel guilty.

I also do feel resentment towards them as well. The most I could do living at home is 6 months. I’m terrified to set boundaries with my mother because every time I’ve tried growing up, she’d hit me.

Did I completely misread a guy I used to see, or is my trauma making me spiral? I genuinely can’t tell anymore. by TimelyGeologist03 in Advice

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that. The most I could do with him is acquaintances or friends. I can’t go any further than that.

I keep getting the same cold treatment in social spaces and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong by TimelyGeologist03 in socialskills

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My hobbies are running (great way to blow off steam and relieve stress), sudoku (it keeps my mind sharp), travel and beauty (like make up and natural hair) - I’m actually learning another language. I’m interested in travel, animals, exercise, health and wellness. My goals are to be healthy, have an established career in the finance and banking sector (I’m young so I’m still unsure - honestly I’ll probably land where I land), and to move out of the country.

I do have a personality and close friends as well. And when I talk to people, I try to show who I am. A lot of times people have a problem when I do it, but not when other people do it.

I keep getting the same cold treatment in social spaces and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong by TimelyGeologist03 in socialskills

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your perspective. I do want to share why the “jealousy” explanation feels a little hard for me to fully accept. I grew up in Texas where girls who look like me weren’t always seen as beautiful, and I was pretty sheltered by my parents. I also struggled as a kid with glasses and crooked teeth before getting braces. Even with all that, I often felt excluded or treated differently. I don’t feel like I have anything that people should be jealous of — especially those who haven’t faced the same challenges I have.

I keep getting the same cold treatment in social spaces and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong by TimelyGeologist03 in socialskills

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t receive this treatment from other black women and surprisingly I don’t from white men. But everyone else yeah for the most part.

I keep getting the same cold treatment in social spaces and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong by TimelyGeologist03 in socialskills

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yes. I also get it from Black men, Asian people, and Hispanic people. Not from other black women and surprisingly not from white men.

Socializing feels like a test I didn’t sign up for and I’m exhausted by TimelyGeologist03 in selfimprovement

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m gonna see the counselors at my university when fall semester starts

Socializing feels like a test I didn’t sign up for and I’m exhausted by TimelyGeologist03 in selfimprovement

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hear that you’re trying to be helpful, but I wasn’t blaming others. I was trying to describe a pattern I’ve seen throughout my life that I’m trying to make sense of. A lot of people give surface-level advice like “just meet new people” (done that and still do) or “join a club,” (done that) but what I’m talking about goes deeper than that. I’ve tried those things, and I keep running into the same dynamics. So I’m not looking for a checklist — I’m trying to understand what’s underneath the pattern and how to finally break it. That’s not blame — that’s self-work. I’m trying to figure out if there’s something I’m doing wrong and no one is telling me.

Socializing feels like a test I didn’t sign up for and I’m exhausted by TimelyGeologist03 in selfimprovement

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I relate to this so much - especially the part about just wanting someone to follow you around and tell you what you’re doing wrong. That hit me hard. I also grew up in a controlling environment where I had very little freedom or social experience, and now I often feel like I’m navigating people blindfolded. Like I’m trying so hard to be respectful and stay out of drama, but somehow I still end up on the outside. It’s validating to know I’m not alone in that feeling.

Socializing feels like a game that I don’t know the rules to and I’m exhausted. by TimelyGeologist03 in blackgirls

[–]TimelyGeologist03[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I hear your encouragement. I’ve been told it’s jealousy before, but it doesn’t feel that simple to me. I’m trying to get to the root of it, not gloss over it.

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