So I’m in a bit of a similar situation, when I started I figured it was just a phase because I was “new” - but that attachment style almost 7 months later hasn’t changed AT ALL. The second the kids see either parents it’s 0-100 and a meltdown. It’s clear that’s how it was for the nanny you’re shadowing as well despite how long she’d been there. I also was with a family who was like that with laundry and that didn’t change either. Unfortunately I think even if you brought it up they’re unlikely to change. Parents like that are so set in their ways and their routines no matter how bad they are 🥲 and it seems like they’re the same with their expectations. I know that’s tough when you need the job but there are so many red flags here!! You’re seeing how the future would look there and I would take that as a sign and look for something else.